It's a GREAT day today!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 42
It's a GREAT day today!!
Hello everyone!
I just wanted to share my good day today. In fact I've had a number of good days this last week. For those that don't know my story My AAH went to rehab this summer was clean for 88 days. Then binged for 2 days. I was angry, frustrated and lost. I had been riding on a high of his sobriety/recovery. I had quite the pity party for myself. In the process somewhere there I reached out and found SR.
So today is day 6 for him but you know what for all I care it could be day 1 or day 101. Not that I'm not supporting him or cheering him on. But today is about me. Just like yesterday was and just like tomorrow will be.
I think this comes from the boundaries I've put into place which seem to give my life balance. There aren't too many yet, only 3 but that will work itself out in time. I choose a few to stick to and WOW to I ever feel empowered. I am not a puppet anymore! The ones I picked are:
1. I am entiteled to my time. (self care) I have a newspaper delivered to my house everyday, I have for years. So every morning I get up a little earlier before work grab a cup of coffee and sit and read. Sometimes it's for 20 min sometimes on the weekends it'll stretch out to 2 hrs. But it's my time and not to be interupted and to be respected. If I choose to get up and do something else that's my choice not anyone elses.
2. I will say NO! I will not cater to your every whim. I've been using this at work too. These people are adults, as is my AAH. He can find your own clothes, he can make his own lunch. I will not give in once I have made a desicion. If I say "I think..." then it is open for discussion and you may share your opinion.
3. My life does not revolve around you. I have a schedule (mostly meaning work), my day tends to follow a certain pattern. I will not alter my schedule to cater to you. In my spare time I am going to do certain things for myself. I will go to meetings. If you don't want to be alone then go to a meeting too.
I want to thank those who helped me understand what boundaries are. I have found so much peace in the last few days it's been amazing.
I just wanted to share my good day today. In fact I've had a number of good days this last week. For those that don't know my story My AAH went to rehab this summer was clean for 88 days. Then binged for 2 days. I was angry, frustrated and lost. I had been riding on a high of his sobriety/recovery. I had quite the pity party for myself. In the process somewhere there I reached out and found SR.
So today is day 6 for him but you know what for all I care it could be day 1 or day 101. Not that I'm not supporting him or cheering him on. But today is about me. Just like yesterday was and just like tomorrow will be.
I think this comes from the boundaries I've put into place which seem to give my life balance. There aren't too many yet, only 3 but that will work itself out in time. I choose a few to stick to and WOW to I ever feel empowered. I am not a puppet anymore! The ones I picked are:
1. I am entiteled to my time. (self care) I have a newspaper delivered to my house everyday, I have for years. So every morning I get up a little earlier before work grab a cup of coffee and sit and read. Sometimes it's for 20 min sometimes on the weekends it'll stretch out to 2 hrs. But it's my time and not to be interupted and to be respected. If I choose to get up and do something else that's my choice not anyone elses.
2. I will say NO! I will not cater to your every whim. I've been using this at work too. These people are adults, as is my AAH. He can find your own clothes, he can make his own lunch. I will not give in once I have made a desicion. If I say "I think..." then it is open for discussion and you may share your opinion.
3. My life does not revolve around you. I have a schedule (mostly meaning work), my day tends to follow a certain pattern. I will not alter my schedule to cater to you. In my spare time I am going to do certain things for myself. I will go to meetings. If you don't want to be alone then go to a meeting too.
I want to thank those who helped me understand what boundaries are. I have found so much peace in the last few days it's been amazing.
GOOD FOR YOU!!! 
These are my happy dances!! 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
So proud of you! Isn't it a wonderful feeling to have some power over your life? Keep up the good work. I used to think taking care of myself was selfish, but now I am wiser 
And the more I practice this new power, the more comfortable I am doing it!!
Hugs
Terri
And the more I practice this new power, the more comfortable I am doing it!!
Hugs
Terri
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