Heroin

Old 09-15-2007, 04:26 PM
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Heroin

I just heard about this site, and I am desperate. Our 19-year old daughter is our addict. She went through 28 day program, which she graduated from July 9, 2007. We know she slipped up a few times since then. This morning she seemed tired, and then this afternoon when she got home from work, she was nodding out big time. This nodding out was not collapsing forward as has always been in the past, but rather head going back. We are wondering if she has found another substance to get high on. We found a spoon in her closet that had a lump of something white stuck to the spoon. Any ideas on what that could be? She is on medication from a psychiatrist, which she just started going to this doctor on Thursday, and the pills are the right amount in the bottle. She claims not to be using. We don't believe her. I guess if she is using again, it will rapidly get out of control. It's hard to sit by and do nothing. My husband and I constantly fight about it. She is living at home with us right now.

I'm all ears for help for me at this point.
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Old 09-15-2007, 04:55 PM
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(((Virginia))))

First, WELCOME TO SR!!!
You've found a community of caring people who will share their experience, strength and hope with you as we walk the path of recovery. It's a great first step.

My next best suggestion is this. Please get to a naranon or alanon meeting asap. That's the best thing you can do for yourself, and, incidently, for her too. You will learn how to take care of YOU first; to set boundaries; to recognize what is yours and what is not; and to know that you didn't cause it; can't control it and can't cure it. But, you can cope with it.

This is a difficult road you are on. My son was a child when he started. He too is a heroin addict. He's clean now, after 13 years of drug use, but, he's not "normal.'' (whatever that is.) My heart goes out to you.

We're here, 24/7. Whenever you need. There's almost alwasy someone here to talk with. I look forward to getting to know you as we both grow in our recovery.

Shalom!

Last edited by historyteach; 09-15-2007 at 05:16 PM.
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Old 09-15-2007, 04:56 PM
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It sounds like she is injecting heroin. The spoon would be used to mix and heat the drug. You may find needles around your home so you would need to be very careful when reaching your hand into anyplace you can't see. Some addicts do share needles even though it is a high risk action and you do not want to get stuck with dirty needle.

My husband is a heroin addict (IV) currently in recovery. The nodding out sounds like him. I don't know if it matters if she falls backwards or forwards, or even what drug she is using. The fact you and your husband will have to deal with is what you will and will not accept from her while she is living in your home.

Is she wearing long sleeved shirts? That can be another sign of an IV user...covering up track marks.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Glad you joined us.
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Old 09-15-2007, 05:44 PM
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She wears short sleeves. The track marks are also gone. In the past when I have found the scorched spoons, there was nothing stuck to them, and would find the heroin residue, but this stuff is a big white glob, it's something I have never seen before.

I have been to Naranon meetings in the past, and do need to go again.

Thanks for the reply and good thoughts.
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Old 09-15-2007, 05:50 PM
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thanks for the hugs and good thoughts. It's good to know a heroin addict can actually be in active recovery, sometimes this situation seems so hopeless, sometimes I just cry; other times I feel hopeful.
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Old 09-15-2007, 06:26 PM
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Welcome Virginia,
First let me say that I am sorry for the reason you were brought to this site.
There are alot of moms on here to help. My daughter was a herion user also.
She also experimented with crack and pills. Sometimes it is hard to know exactly what they are doing. I can tell you this, when my daughter used crack she was out of her mind. She didn't sleep and she was very mean. She was actually mellow on heroin. That was her DOC. Right now she is off of everything. She's been doing pretty well. Still somewhat dysfunctional though. I am told it takes them a long time to really get back in the groove of being normal. She also takes bi polar meds and they make her a little sleepy. She actually cut back on the dose that she was given because she didn't like feeling so tired. I am just thankful for her being sober today. I only take one day at a time because I know a relapse could happen at anytime. I can only hope that this is her time. Please stay with us here. Some more moms will be on at some point and you can hear their viewpoints.
I don't know what would be on the spoon. I also found spoons but not what you described. You could go to the Narcotics forum and maybe they could help you with that. They have helped me with questions before.

Sending you Mom hugs..........Lo
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Old 09-15-2007, 06:42 PM
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Welcome. Sorry this has to be in your life. Good wisdom above.

My XABF used to FreeBase Cocaine. I never saw him do it and I believe he was clean of this up until just over a year ago when I think he started to do lines once in awhile (he inherited some money about then and his behavior changed). His Drug was Weed.. all day every day.

.. But I digress. He used to talk about freebasing (which I have been told has the same effect as Crack) and from what you are saying she "could" be freebasing cocaine. It is a very expensive thing to do BTW.

The other thing I wonder is if she may be smoking heroin. I know very little about this drug. I am really doing little more than thinking out loud. Others here, sadly, have more experience than I.

Just letting you know I care and hope you will find the help you need here. I did. This forum saved my life I believe.
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Old 09-15-2007, 07:19 PM
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Welcome to SR. My daughter is my addict. She is 21 and has done all the opiates. Currently I am not really sure what she is using as I have not seen her since March. If your daughter has relapsed, it will not be long before you know it for sure. If she is nodding, that is usually associated with opiates or another downer. My daughter does oxycontin and that could be what the white is. But really it doesn't matter what drug she is using if she is. One thing I know for sure is that addicts will deny their using even when faced with the evidence. My daughter did not live with us when she started to use so I have never been faced with the problem of what to do with that. I do know that she will never live with us again. Hugs, Marle
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Old 09-15-2007, 08:10 PM
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I'm sorry you are going through this...I'm not sure what you found, but I guess it really doens't matter. As was said, you will know if she is back in active addiction soon enough. I do hope you can start up meetings again - I find them so hopeful. My daughter also was addicted to heroin. She snorted, did not inject, but it didn't make it any less deadly and addictive. Hugs and prayers for all of you.
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Old 09-16-2007, 12:33 AM
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Welcome from another mom.
My opinion based on my exper. - 28 day program is NOT enough expecially since your daughter is so young. Stopping the drug temporarily is just that but recovery takes a lot of time + work. It is usually best if they go from primary treatment into sober living house where they get drug tested and the rules are enforced by someone other than mom. Surely your boundary is sober to live at home. Tho your AD will lie until caught if she is using. Most cases that lead to recovery involve more than one time at a rehab. and a few yrs. of addiction. I hate to sound so negative but I am just telling you what I know based on my own son and the many parents I've met in my parents an-anon group along w/ what you share abt. your AD.
Learn all you can about addiction and stay focused on your own recovery bec being the parent of an addict takes "work' to help you get through this.
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Old 09-16-2007, 03:55 AM
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From one Mom to another, this is the toughest ordeal that we go through.

My addict son has been into heroin, crack and whatever else comes along.
I will visit him this week in the county jail. He got picked up for attempting to recycle stolen goods........don't know a whole lot about it. I don't need to know.

I do know that he may get an offer to go to a year long inpatient rehab. I will visit him this coming week. I love him and even after 14 years of this drug addiction drama, I grieve this loss of a beautiful soul.

Nodding out is a hallmark sign of Heroin use. Although you did say that she's just begun a psychiatric medication. Sometimes those can make one very tired at first.

In the meantime Mom, watch your wallet, lock down any expensive jewlery etc. Do not leave your car keys laying around.

My husband use to say, "We are living in that bunker mentality.".....meaning lock down everything.

You really need the kind support of Alanon. Take care of you Mom.
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Old 09-16-2007, 05:33 AM
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Virginia,

Welcome, glad you're here, sad you're here...
I have to idea about the white stuff, my experience is pretty much limited to pot with my
AS and AD...

But, relax, grab a comfortable chair... loosen up those fingers... put on those reading glasses
(if needed) .. it could be a bumpy ride, but the knowldge that you will get here, is PRICELESS..... (Almost an American Express commercial, LOL)

Nice to meet you.
Colleen
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Old 09-16-2007, 09:55 AM
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Heroin

Thanks so much for everyone that has posted. You have given me hope and encouragement. To all who said, it doesn't matter what's in the spoon, it's a drug, that is so true. She went to a psychiatrist on Thursday, and they changed her meds. If what I am seeing is the meds, that will probably change, if it's the drug use, that will change too, it will increase. Sometimes I actually hope she gets so totally looped that she has to go to the ER. The doctors there are good at getting her into treatment.

In May she went to a psychiatric hospital in our area, and what a joke! She had overdosed three days within 7 days of going to this facility, one of those times she almost died. Within 5 days of admission, this outfit discharged her from inpatient to outpatient days and to stay in their "lodge" at night. This meant she was free every day from 3:00 pm until 10:00 pm. Well, I am sure you can guess what happened!

The doctors there prescribed some medication that we later found out can cause suicidal thoughts and depression. This particular drug can also cause diabetes because it alters your sugar levels. If this situation weren't so serious, you could almost call it a comedy of errors. However, there is nothing funny about further screwing up someone's already screwed up life and thought process. Needless to say, that is why she went to a new doctor.

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers. You are all in my prayers as well.
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Old 09-16-2007, 11:29 AM
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Within 5 days of admission, this outfit discharged her from inpatient to outpatient days and to stay in their "lodge" at night. This meant she was free every day from 3:00 pm until 10:00 pm. Well, I am sure you can guess what happened!
Guess this is proof positive that we can't force our addicts into recovery... we can make opportunities available... we can do the footwork, but not one thing we say or do will force them to "get it" any sooner than they themselves are ready.

Both my kids are addicts, Virginia. My daughter's addiction began the summer between 6th and 7th grades - a friend on the recreation basketball team we had enrolled her in 'introduced' her. We discovered this nearly FIVE YEARS later. As you know - rebellion and teen angst can cover a whole lot of "symptoms".

My kid was using needles shortly after we discovered her addiction - I never once saw a needle track. She learned early to use sites under her tongue, between her toes... elsewhere that I would never see. She had "friends" who "helped" her. sigh.

She went to 4 rehabs all together, and completed 30 days at 3 of the 4. She went to a recovery house for 2 months and to an Oxford sober living arrangement. She used after each and every time.

What I know is true for me today is that part of what kept her using was living in our home. She had hot meals, a dry bed, a tv and phone and car... and all the drugs she could get her hands on. And no matter what we did - she would eventually get them.

I had to stop being her jailer and her doctor and just be her mom. Her dad and I argued and sweated and cried and wailed. But we finally had to kick her out at age 17. She was immature and had no job skills... in addition to being a full blown addict. I had all these "nightmare" scenarios going round and round in my head. But you know what?

She hit her bottom far faster than if I had tried to keep her in our home where I could "watch" her. Having that chaos of anger and rage and theft and crazy people around and KNOWING when she was out all night... all that made ME so crazy that I prepared to leave the planet.



The only thing that helped me was Alanon - and even that didn't help until *I* hit *my* bottom. Until I reached out and called someone on that phone list and actually GOT something out of Alanon... not until then was I ready to actually go to MANY many meetings, find a sponsor, work the steps and work a recovery program as DILIGENTLY as I had expected my addicted kids to work theirs.

When I finally worked my recovery program.... I got better.


Today, my daughter has over 2 years clean and sober. She is married (to another addict she met in rehab). They have a one year old and another baby on the way. That baby they gave us is magic... no other word for it.

I cannot imagine that this was the life I ever expected for her... I thought she would have college and a marriage to another successful person and a better life than the working class one we struggled to provide. But her path has been far, far different. Far more difficult.... and far more rewarding.

I am not in charge of where she goes in this world... I think maybe I never was. Alanon teaches me that.

If you haven't attended several meetings, I urge you to try some. If a meeting doesn't give you what you need - try a different time or location. Look for a meeting with a lot of "long-term" recovery -folks who have been there a long long time. Look for a meeting that talks about program instead of the "qualifiers". I found my meeting and it lifts me up.


I wish you the very best and welcome you to SR. ((((hugs))))
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Old 09-16-2007, 05:07 PM
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(((((((Virginia))))))))



My son was an iv heroin user at 19. He wore the long sleeves. The nodding out.
He lived at home off and on. He stole. He went to jail.

Update...
He's 25. Clean for 2 years from heroin. Yes, he has smoked pot and drank alcohol.
Recently he went into an emergency room for mental health due to anxiety attacks.
Will be seeing a psychiatrist on October 2nd. As of right now, he's on Seraquil (sp. ?)

Things do get better as long as "we", you and I get better.
Read about codependency and enabling. You may have to have her leave your home if she is, in fact, using again. Only for yourself and your other family members' sake.
I had my son leave last year. He's been through alot since then, but he's grown up more in the last year than he ever has. I believe, in my heart, it's due to my detaching. With love, of course. It can be done, sweetie. You just need the strength.
Ask HP to guide you and pray for your little girl.
Ya wanna talk? PM me anytime. I'm always here. This is my lifeline to recovery from codependency. I'm glad you found us.
Remember...
1. You didn't cause it
2. You can't control it
3. You can't cure it

All said with love, prayers, and understanding,
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Old 09-16-2007, 08:42 PM
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first things first. stop fighting with your husband, the two of you are going to need each other for support. Read all you can on this site and share it with your husband.My 22 yr old son is my addict his drug of choice (DOC) is heroin. Knowledge is power, You'll find out just how much lying can go on in addiction. It doesn't matter how great your daughter was before the drugs, she's just like the rest of our addicts, she'll lie, cheat and steal if she has to to get high and theres no stopping her until she wants to stop. I know this sounds terrible but I've been going through it for 5 yrs and you'll find people on this site who have been going through it or have already gone through it alot longer. There are people here that are wiser than you can imagine. Read and have your husband read too. Its going to be a rough road so pack your bags with all the knowledge you can. You have to take care of yourself and not get yourself all bent out of shape worrying about what you can't change. I've been on this website since december and in that short time I've not only learned a great deal but I feel better as well. I don't cry nearly as much as I did before. I sleep sometimes now too. We are in this together and you'll get great support here. READ
good luck and by the way welcome to SR
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