Pray For My Son's Soul
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Ladyjane,
I am sorry I'm coming on to this thread late, but my heart and prayers are with you.
As a mother my heart breaks for you.
Please know that I will be lifting you and your family up in my prayers daily. And may you find comfort in knowing that your son is no longer battling the terrible disease.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
I am sorry I'm coming on to this thread late, but my heart and prayers are with you.
As a mother my heart breaks for you.
Please know that I will be lifting you and your family up in my prayers daily. And may you find comfort in knowing that your son is no longer battling the terrible disease.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Danville,Va
Posts: 304
I haven't been doing so well I'm afraid. I keep trying to find answers to questions that have no answers.
I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again.
Sometimes I feel like I want to run screaming through the streets.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. They mean so much to us all.
I feel I must have failed him somehow. That's the worst part. Thinking I could have changed the outcome of this horrible senseless death.
I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again.
Sometimes I feel like I want to run screaming through the streets.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. They mean so much to us all.
I feel I must have failed him somehow. That's the worst part. Thinking I could have changed the outcome of this horrible senseless death.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((ladyjane))
You did not fail him. You loved him with all your heart, you did everything you could do for him, even when it broke your heart to do so. I don't know why, or the meaning of it all, but I will share with you my belief. I do not believe that sick people go to hell. I believe sometimes God calls them home for his special care. I believe that they become angels, an angel that understands our pain and our mistakes because that angel has been there, they know what we feel. I believe that hell is reserved for people who are evil at heart, not people who are sick and fighing a disease. Your son had a loving heart not an evil one.
I didn't loose a child, but I did loose a brother. There came a time that I found a quite spot and I talked out loud to my brother. I talked and talked, just as if he were right there, and you know what? he was.
Hugs Ladyjane and Prayers
B
You did not fail him. You loved him with all your heart, you did everything you could do for him, even when it broke your heart to do so. I don't know why, or the meaning of it all, but I will share with you my belief. I do not believe that sick people go to hell. I believe sometimes God calls them home for his special care. I believe that they become angels, an angel that understands our pain and our mistakes because that angel has been there, they know what we feel. I believe that hell is reserved for people who are evil at heart, not people who are sick and fighing a disease. Your son had a loving heart not an evil one.
I didn't loose a child, but I did loose a brother. There came a time that I found a quite spot and I talked out loud to my brother. I talked and talked, just as if he were right there, and you know what? he was.
Hugs Ladyjane and Prayers
B
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mary alice, KY
Posts: 122
Ladyjane
I am so sorry for your loss. My son accidently overdosed May15,2006. He was 19 and one week sho of his 20th b-day. I don't know how I ever got through those first few months. I still have a hard time. There isn't a day goes by that i don't cry for Trey or maybe I cry for me. I know that he is in Heaven. I have to have that faith or else i would be crazy be now. Maybe your son and mine are friends in Heaven. I would like to think that. You are definitely among friends here that will open their hearts and arms to you. Hugs to you. You and yours are in my prayers....Viki
I am so sorry for your loss. My son accidently overdosed May15,2006. He was 19 and one week sho of his 20th b-day. I don't know how I ever got through those first few months. I still have a hard time. There isn't a day goes by that i don't cry for Trey or maybe I cry for me. I know that he is in Heaven. I have to have that faith or else i would be crazy be now. Maybe your son and mine are friends in Heaven. I would like to think that. You are definitely among friends here that will open their hearts and arms to you. Hugs to you. You and yours are in my prayers....Viki
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by ladyjane 
I haven't been doing so well I'm afraid. I keep trying to find answers to questions that have no answers...
Originally Posted by ladyjane
... I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again....
You son was just sick, the same way I once was, and God does not hold that against him.
Originally Posted by ladyjane
...I feel I must have failed him somehow. That's the worst part. Thinking I could have changed the outcome of this horrible senseless death. ...
You are the kind of mother I never had. A mother who loves her son and would give her own life for him. I never knew such love. I do know that if I had a thousand woman who loved me with such depth I still would not have been able to stop drinking. You see, love does not heal a _disease_. There are many things that love can do, but that is not one of them.
All the love in the whole world can not heal a broken bone, or stop an infection. Only the person with the broken bone can heal it, by going to a doctor and following doctors orders.
The only person that could have stopped my addiction was _me_. I stopped it by going to meetings of AA and following direction.
Ladyjane, you did _not_ fail your son. As an alcoholic who once was on the verge of death I can tell you that. You did more for your son than my parents ever did for me, so I know what I am talking about.
What you can do for you son today is honor his memory. There are many other women in the rooms of al-anon and nar-anon who are in deep pain. Honor your son by remembering the good things about him, and by bringing your love for him to the rooms of al-anon and nar-anon so that other women can draw strength from your love. Your son's life will not be in vain as long as we all can draw strength from your love.
Today you have given me strength to overcome the challenges in my life. I have a terminal heart condition and every day is a challenge for me. You have shown me today that you loved your son in ways that only those of us who have been an addict can appreciate. Today you have shown me that there is love and beauty in this world worth living for. You have made a huge difference in my life today, Ladyjane, because I know that you love your son in ways that I was never loved. For that I will be forever grateful.
You did not fail him. Not in the slightest. You have honored him. I know that he is in heaven today and that he is grateful for your love.
You are in my prayers tonite, Ladyjane, as is your son. You both will be every night.
Mike
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
((((DesertEyes))))) What kind words.... they touch all of us who have continued to wonder "if" there was some sort of magical phrase we missed saying, or some little thing we missed doing. Thank you ... so much.
((((LadyJane)))) One of the first women I met in a meeting was sharing for nearly ten minutes one night. It was only at the end of her sharing that I realized her "qualifier" for the program... the one who got her there... was her son. And he had died .... walking, likely high, on the road late one night... he was killed by a drunk driver. He was her only child. My worst fear was right there at the table with me.
She did not come into Alanon until after his death, just shortly before I began my own journey.
She has continued to share with us and walk with us and learn and grow with us. Three years later, she still has pain... but she shares a lot of strength and joy and love. Her days are more better than bad, and she smiles more than she cries.
I absolutely believe what Desert Eyes says ... ours is a loving God who wants us to lead a joyous life. I also believe our time on earth is part of a Greater Plan, and that God works directly in each of our lives to help us give and receive the best we can within that plan. No life is wasted.
I did not lose a child to addiction, but I did lose a baby to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome years ago. A nurse told me something that I believe helped me. She said to make a memory book... to concentrate as much as I could on all the GOOD memories... pictures, writing down memories, incidents....ALL the good I could possibly remember. Because in a sudden death, sometimes the events of the day overwhelm our memory, and after a while those terrible memories are the sharpest and clearest. I believe that was good advice. I hope it helps you, as well.
((((Loving Hugs)))))
((((LadyJane)))) One of the first women I met in a meeting was sharing for nearly ten minutes one night. It was only at the end of her sharing that I realized her "qualifier" for the program... the one who got her there... was her son. And he had died .... walking, likely high, on the road late one night... he was killed by a drunk driver. He was her only child. My worst fear was right there at the table with me.
She did not come into Alanon until after his death, just shortly before I began my own journey.
She has continued to share with us and walk with us and learn and grow with us. Three years later, she still has pain... but she shares a lot of strength and joy and love. Her days are more better than bad, and she smiles more than she cries.
I absolutely believe what Desert Eyes says ... ours is a loving God who wants us to lead a joyous life. I also believe our time on earth is part of a Greater Plan, and that God works directly in each of our lives to help us give and receive the best we can within that plan. No life is wasted.
I did not lose a child to addiction, but I did lose a baby to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome years ago. A nurse told me something that I believe helped me. She said to make a memory book... to concentrate as much as I could on all the GOOD memories... pictures, writing down memories, incidents....ALL the good I could possibly remember. Because in a sudden death, sometimes the events of the day overwhelm our memory, and after a while those terrible memories are the sharpest and clearest. I believe that was good advice. I hope it helps you, as well.
((((Loving Hugs)))))
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by ladyjane View Post
... I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again....
... I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again....
It isn't our place to say if a person is in heaven or hell that is God's job to say and allow.
My hopes are held with scripture and here is a verse that I hold tight in such times...
The jailer talking with Paul and Silas...
Acts 16:
30He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"
31They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by ladyjane
I haven't been doing so well I'm afraid. I keep trying to find answers to questions that have no answers.
I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again.
Sometimes I feel like I want to run screaming through the streets.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. They mean so much to us all.
I feel I must have failed him somehow. That's the worst part. Thinking I could have changed the outcome of this horrible senseless death.
I worry so for my son's soul. I'm afraid he will go to hell and I'll never see him again.
Sometimes I feel like I want to run screaming through the streets.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts. They mean so much to us all.
I feel I must have failed him somehow. That's the worst part. Thinking I could have changed the outcome of this horrible senseless death.
You didn't fail. Your son was murdered by addiction and depression. I have prayed for God to forgive him for taking his life and in my heart, I believe he has and I also believe He is with our loviing God. I feel so out of place for saying any of this but the feeling is strong.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Ladyjane, the God of my understanding is a loving and forgiving God, who knows our sicknesses and pain. He is a God who loves every one of his children, and loves his addict children as much as anyone.
I think that sometimes God sees the suffering and decides to take them home. However the addict dies, whatever the cause, it is really the disease of addiction that killed them, because addiction kills the mind, the body and the spirit.
If you are a Christian (and forgive me if you are not, I don't mean to get into theology), but if you are, then you know that Jesus Christ died for our sins, that we might be forgiven. So even if your sons death was a sin (and I personally do not believe that it was), then it was forgiven the moment he died, because God's son made it so.
My thoughts and my prayers continue for you and your family. May you find a special peace in your heart today, and know that your son rests in the arms of God.
Hugs
I think that sometimes God sees the suffering and decides to take them home. However the addict dies, whatever the cause, it is really the disease of addiction that killed them, because addiction kills the mind, the body and the spirit.
If you are a Christian (and forgive me if you are not, I don't mean to get into theology), but if you are, then you know that Jesus Christ died for our sins, that we might be forgiven. So even if your sons death was a sin (and I personally do not believe that it was), then it was forgiven the moment he died, because God's son made it so.
My thoughts and my prayers continue for you and your family. May you find a special peace in your heart today, and know that your son rests in the arms of God.
Hugs
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