Didcha ever?
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Didcha ever?
Didcha ever notice the way that we are very much like our addict?
Lets take a look at what I mean
They use and are in denial
and we are in denial about their use or how bad it really is.
They blame and finger point at us .. we blame and finger point at them
They live in a fantasy land of dope ... we live in our dream world that clouds reality of what really is
and we live off the potential of what it could be if ONLY he/she would stop using.
We cry beg and plead with them to stop using and they cry beg and plead for money
They abandon themselves and us (for dope)
and we abandon ourselves in effort to find them.
How many times does the addict say I'm done, no more after this ONE LAST TIME -
we promise ourselves that if the addict does this or that again that it will be the last time.
We break that promise over and over and over again each and every time we draw a boundarie
and they cross over it without concequences being followed through with
The substance abuser has drug addict behavior, and we are addicted to them
and yes, we have addict behavior too .. we can be as unstable minded and unpredictable as they are sometimes.
They punish us for trying to make them stop using and we punish them or not stopping ..
They throw pity parties in effort to get what they want from us
and we throw them hoping to make addict behave like we want (so we are both manipulative)
The power struggle begins and we are defeated before we begin
YOU CANNOT COMPETE with DRUG ADDICTION
and The truth of the matter is the addict can only do to us what we permit them to do
If we want any sort of decent life Our recovery is imparative and just as important theirs
If you find yourself miserable because of the things your addict is doing to you
then You can best bet your focus is in the wrong direction ..
and it is time to take it off the addict and put it into your own recovery
Wanna see something different in your life?
Change the view .. it works wonders
****{Hugs}}}
Passion
Lets take a look at what I mean
They use and are in denial
and we are in denial about their use or how bad it really is.
They blame and finger point at us .. we blame and finger point at them
They live in a fantasy land of dope ... we live in our dream world that clouds reality of what really is
and we live off the potential of what it could be if ONLY he/she would stop using.
We cry beg and plead with them to stop using and they cry beg and plead for money
They abandon themselves and us (for dope)
and we abandon ourselves in effort to find them.
How many times does the addict say I'm done, no more after this ONE LAST TIME -
we promise ourselves that if the addict does this or that again that it will be the last time.
We break that promise over and over and over again each and every time we draw a boundarie
and they cross over it without concequences being followed through with
The substance abuser has drug addict behavior, and we are addicted to them
and yes, we have addict behavior too .. we can be as unstable minded and unpredictable as they are sometimes.
They punish us for trying to make them stop using and we punish them or not stopping ..
They throw pity parties in effort to get what they want from us
and we throw them hoping to make addict behave like we want (so we are both manipulative)
The power struggle begins and we are defeated before we begin
YOU CANNOT COMPETE with DRUG ADDICTION
and The truth of the matter is the addict can only do to us what we permit them to do
If we want any sort of decent life Our recovery is imparative and just as important theirs
If you find yourself miserable because of the things your addict is doing to you
then You can best bet your focus is in the wrong direction ..
and it is time to take it off the addict and put it into your own recovery
Wanna see something different in your life?
Change the view .. it works wonders
****{Hugs}}}
Passion
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by nytepassion 
Didcha ever notice the way that we are very much like our addict?
They punish us for trying to make them stop using and we punish them for not stopping ...
and The truth of the matter is the addict can only do to us what we permit them to do
They punish us for trying to make them stop using and we punish them for not stopping ...
and The truth of the matter is the addict can only do to us what we permit them to do
That was a great post
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Okanagan BC
Posts: 328
very insightful post. makes ya kinda take a step back and see ourselves for what we really are. not that different from them at all! Although we don't hurt anyone and let down our bosses, co-workers and friends. We don't take advantage of people for our own good. Very interesting, thanks for the post.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Lots of food for thought there, Passion...it pretty much describes my relationship with my 51 year old son for the past 10 years or so. Fortunately, he's been in a VA hospital/rehab since February 6.
I don't know who William Scott Simmons was, but he must have been pretty special to be remembered in this way. May he rest in peace.
I don't know who William Scott Simmons was, but he must have been pretty special to be remembered in this way. May he rest in peace.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
thanks for the post....you put it so well. This irony has been something I became aware as I began my recovery. I've actually had a harder time at it than RAH (he of a 20 year crack habit!). ESPECIALLY the "this is the last time" thing. It took me a long time to get there. As it took RAH a long time to get where he is.
Thanks! Donna
Thanks! Donna
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Thanks Nyte, for the reminder. That's a really good analogy, and a strong reminder why WE need to work our own program of recovery! They are addicted and out of control when it comes to drugs and/or alcohol... and we are the same but OUR addiction is to THEM.
They try one more thing to try to balance their drug/drink and their life, we try one more thing to balance our life with theirs.
It wasn't until I really understood this concept that I was able to see MY part in the drama that was our life... up until that point I honestly believed I was an innocent victim, that I was the sane one and he was the one with crazy behavior.
Thanks for the post, Nyte. How ya been?
Cats
They try one more thing to try to balance their drug/drink and their life, we try one more thing to balance our life with theirs.
It wasn't until I really understood this concept that I was able to see MY part in the drama that was our life... up until that point I honestly believed I was an innocent victim, that I was the sane one and he was the one with crazy behavior.
Thanks for the post, Nyte. How ya been?
Cats
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
Thnaks for the great post. Another eye opener at just the time I needed it. AH has never had the "want,need or whatever" to stop drugs-not even in prison. My addiction-AH-at least I am making one heck of a determined try to STOP!!!!!
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