It is 3:00 in the morning and....

Old 08-28-2007, 01:36 AM
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Unhappy It is 3:00 in the morning and....

got the call from AD. Abf beat her up tonight. She is 40 miles away and wants us to come and get her. As I am talking to her on the phone, the police pull up. She tells me not to come and wait until she talks to the police and will call me back. My husband is running around getting ready. I am surprisingly calm because this is what I expected would happen someday. Told him to not get too excited (he wants so badly to get her away from the abf). So after 10 minutes she messages me on the phone and tells me she will call me tomorrow. Why am I not surprised. Well for one thing, they were probably both high as kites and since he holds the drugs, she will stay. This is so the progression of the disease and the lifestyle that goes with it. First time for the call in the middle of the night and I told my husband it will be the last time because if she refuses to leave him (and I believe she will) then she will just have to handle things herself from now on. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 02:12 AM
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She would not press charges and is staying with him. Hubby called the sheriff's department and they said that they should have arrested him and will the next time that there is a call. I talked to Megan and she said she really wanted to leave him but couldn't. She feels so responsible for him. I do understand. It is so hard to leave that cycle of abuse. I was able to stay calm and just listen. I do think that she is getting there. Says the drugs don't work to cover the pain anymore. So, if you would, say a prayer for her to stay safe until she is ready. Thanks, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:14 AM
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Marle. my prayers go out for your daughter. Sadly drugs and abuse go hand in hand sometimes and for exactly the reasons you stated, they stay and keep taking it.

Perhaps find her the phone number of a women's shelter for abused women and maybe next time she will leave, knowing she has somewhere to go. She may not go though, knowing her drug supply would not be available.

It's just sad what addiction does. You are handling this very well, I know it hurts but you are taking care of yourself and accepting that you cannot take care of her, no matter how bad it is.

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Old 08-28-2007, 03:24 AM
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My prayers for your daughter and you and Mr. Marle. I know that feeling. That middle of the night, dead calm feeling, with chaos all around. The one that you want to go hold your daughter and kick her arse at the same time.

Lots of Love and Prayers.
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:35 AM
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When she was on the phone to me the police drove by to check on her and she thanked them and apologized to them for bothering them. Me thinks there is a bit of codie in her too And yes I am okay. Going to go back to bed and snuggle with my dogs. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:47 AM
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I hope that the Sheriff's will follow up with her today.....
Maybe she will begin to consider putting down the drugs now.

Is there a womens shelter available for her? When she calls again, give her that phone number.

I feel bad for you and Mr Merle having to bear this heartache.
We are powerless over the addict.

I hope that you and your pups had a good nights sleep.
Today is a new day.
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Old 08-28-2007, 04:09 AM
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i know the middle of the nite phone calls to well. i still cut my phone off before i go to bed at nite. if there is a real emergency i know they will call the sheriff. i am sorry about this. i hope she finds her way soon. hugs & prayers,
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Old 08-28-2007, 04:23 AM
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My thoughts and prayers go out to her...
That she finds her way.

And for you, too...

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Old 08-28-2007, 04:28 AM
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Way to go girl, handling yourself all calm. Your recovery is shining. I am happy to hear Megan is ok. I pray she will soon find her way.
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Old 08-28-2007, 05:20 AM
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in my prayers...........

I am really confused about the police department doing nothing about the abuse. There is a law now that protects the people in which they are not the ones prosecuting the abuser the state is. Upon any sign of abuse (red marks, bleeding..etc.) the officer should have hauled his butt away. They give the abusee the chance to say whether she wants to press charges and even if she says no - they pick him up for domestic abuse. I honestly thought this was a state-wide law.

I hope you were able to get some sleep and I will keep you both in my prayers.
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Old 08-28-2007, 05:31 AM
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Wow, your recovery is shining brightly. I cannot believe how well you handled that crisis. I am so sorry this is happening. I remember when my AD called and said that her abf had beat her up, while she was pregnant. She was a couple thousand miles away but I still wanted to run and save her. She didn't press charges either so I knew she wasn't ready.

You know the way it works so hang in there. Maybe one day she will make the right decision for herself. And yes, I know my AD also has some codie in her for her abf. All she talks about now is when he gets out of prison, how she will try to help him! Good Lord, does it ever stop? I pray for all our daughters that it does. I pray they learn to take care of themselves.

Lots of hugs and prayers,
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:16 AM
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Oh Marle, addiction is so sad. Saying a prayer for you, Mr Marle and Megan. I know the terrible feeling parents have when a child is in a bad situation. What's with As calling on parents in the dead of night? Me thinks it's a way of hooking parents into the drama. Parents can't save them from the trauma and do not need to witness a crisis. Son's codie ex would call to say she had a knife and was about to kill him. Turning off the phone at night was my solution.
You are wise in your it's the last time resolve. Your recovery shines.
I hope Megan finds a better path.
Love and hugs
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:18 AM
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Way to go, Marle. You are a very strong person. Maybe your daughter's time is right around the corner. I'll pray it is.
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:34 AM
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Marle -

Wow......thank you for sharing this experience with us. Your love for your daughter shines through but so does the knowledge of how best to manage this situation. My prayers go out for all of you. It sounds like things are beginning to crystalize for her when the pain of using is worse than the pain of not using.

Love, Donna
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:56 AM
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Progress, not perfection, right? I'm glad she called and is beginning to see the light. I continue to pray for her safety and recovery. YOU are an inspiration to us all!
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:57 AM
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(( marle )) (( megan )) (( Mr. Marle )) (( pups ))

Your recovery is shining, Marle. Hopefully Megan is nearer to her bottom and is closer to seeking out recovery and a life full of love and laughter for herself and her unborn child.


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Old 08-28-2007, 07:37 AM
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Thanks everyone. Trisha, My husband said the very same thing to the officer and he admitted that they should have arrested him, but he said that since Megan did not want to press charges, he would be out in a few hours anyway. He said the next time they get a call, they will arrest him. I have never had a need to turn my phone off since she never has called in the middle of the night. She again apologized for calling in the middle of the night. She was scared. Megan has actually tried really hard to not involve me in her business with this boyfriend. So I know she was a bit desperate. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 07:48 AM
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Your family will be in my thoughts. You are so strong in your recovery and are an inspiration

Praying your daughter will find her way soon
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Old 08-28-2007, 07:50 AM
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my prayers heading your way
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:09 AM
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Thanks for sharing....

I am sorry that you and your husband (not to mention the dogs) have to go through this.
Please know that we here at SR are growing in our own recovery through your strength.
I can only hope to gain wisdom through your insight.. Keep up the good work.

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