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It is 3:00 in the morning and....

Old 08-28-2007, 09:37 AM
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((((Marle)))), Those dreaded middle of the night calls. I know them all too well.
Since Megan doesn't usually involve you too much with this abf I'm sure she will know just what to do when she is ready to do it. This is the second time that she reached out to you recently. I think she sounds like she is getting very tired of the way she is living because she doesn't usually involve you. I hope you, Mr. M. and the pups got some rest.
Keeping you and Megan in prayer.............Lo
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Old 08-28-2007, 09:45 AM
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Saying a special prayer for Megan. I hope she finds the strength within herself to leave this ugly situation she's in. In the mean time, you and Mr. Marle take good care of eachother. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as well.
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Old 08-28-2007, 10:06 AM
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Me thinks there is a bit of codie in her too
Yep. And I bet it is AS much of what is keeping her there as are the drugs.

You are doing well, Marle... but I would also start taking the phone off at night. It sets a clear boundary... and keeps Mr. Marle from getting upset, too.

It was a big deal for me to do that.... it was one of the first and strongest boundaries I set (thinking it was for my kid)... and found out it was something that made ME feel better. I slept. And after weeks and months of sleeping lightly... always waiting for that phone to ring... it was a sweet relief.


You are a strong woman and a good mom, Marle. My prayers that your daughter's time can be soon.


((((hugs))))
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Old 08-28-2007, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by TrishaV View Post
I am really confused about the police department doing nothing about the abuse. There is a law now that protects the people in which they are not the ones prosecuting the abuser the state is. Upon any sign of abuse (red marks, bleeding..etc.) the officer should have hauled his butt away. They give the abusee the chance to say whether she wants to press charges and even if she says no - they pick him up for domestic abuse. I honestly thought this was a state-wide law.

I hope you were able to get some sleep and I will keep you both in my prayers.

That's what I was thinking. I was told that my daughter "had" to be arrested since the law requires it when domestic violence is alleged. The os called violence was the day she moved out (after he changed the locks and refused her access because he was mad that she was leaving him) the ex-jerk called the cops and claimed she trashed his house. Since the overzealous cop with little to do said there were what he called "cigar burns" on the rug and the idiot ex is sloppy and had his clothes all over the place, somehow that was a sign of "domestic violence" and she was the cause...(right...she came in with her mom and smoked cigars and put them out on the rug because she wanted to leave him...sigh) She was arrested immediately without even getting a statement or speaking to her witnesses. So if the "law requires that; how come it doesn't require it when there is physical evidence a woman has been battered....Grrrrrrrrrrrr....

Okay, I am powerless, I am powerless, HP is in control....God grant me the serenity...

You are so strong Marle, I so admire your recovery. You and Mr Marle and Megan are in my prayers all the time. An extra prayer today that HP continues to give you the strength and serenity that you have worked so hard for and that he helps Megan to realize that the pain of staying is greater than the pain of embracing recovery. I do see HP's presence here...When I can let go, I see he is in control. Your actions and reactions help me to understand that too...Thank you.
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Old 08-28-2007, 10:50 AM
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Last night Megan was telling me about her abf's sister's two young children that are living there. She said that she knows that she (Megan) must be a good person because the kids love her. She also said that she watches them color and they get so much pleasure out of such a simple thing and she wishes that she could be that little kid again and just be happy and carefree. I told her that she can have a life that is happy again when she is ready to reach out for help. But it did make me sad to think that yes, she was a happy child with a wonderful smile and a laugh that made other people laugh and she was happy with simple things and she knew that if she was scared or worried that mommy would make it better. She also never witnessed violence and was a child that was very gentle. Addiction brings with it a lot more than just a dependence on drugs. Oh well, back to house cleaning. Tomorrow I start back to work-teacher day. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 10:55 AM
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Greet, I don't get it either. Megan had marks on her but the policeman said that it looked like she made them redder by rubbing them. I know that here in Michigan that Megan does not have to press charges for him to be arrested. He can be charged with domestic violence and get 93 days in jail and/or a $1000 fine. I have researched this before. The city that they live in is very small and maybe the police are not really up on the law and the officer did say that they probably should have arrested Steve. Hopefully next time they will. I think a neighbor called the police so at least they are living in a building where people will get involved so if it happens again (and I am sure it will) Steve maybe will get to spend some time in the slammer Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2007, 11:08 AM
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Marle,
I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad she's okay. It's wonderful how you are handling all this with such grace and your good recovery too.
hugs,
cmc
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Old 08-28-2007, 11:26 AM
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(((Marle)))) She's getting there... Little by little...

I'm glad you are handling this so well.
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Old 08-28-2007, 11:59 AM
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mom hugs. you're doing all the right things. blessings, k
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Old 08-28-2007, 03:33 PM
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Wow, you have come a very long way. I only have boys, and they can take care of themselves one way or another, but a girl, well their different.
I am sorry you have to go through the chaos, but, at least the chaos is at a distance.
When she's tired of living that way she'll do something about it. Until then, you are doing the best thing you can do. You're giving her space to make up her mind about it.
Take care Marle.
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:07 PM
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You have come a long way...

I admire your strength and calm. "course, I've always admired you anyway.
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:48 PM
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Prayers for Megan going up. It does sound like she is at least getting tired of the abuse. Just not tired enough of it yet. I'm sorry she woke you up in the middle of the night. I'm always amazed at your courage and restraints when it comes to hands off. I know it is hard. Prayers also for you and Mr. Marle. You two are great parents who obviously love you daughter very much. Hoping you have a better day tomorrow.
Love
Terri
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Old 08-28-2007, 07:32 PM
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(((((((Marle))))))))

(((((((Megan))))))))

Sending "finding your way prayers" up for you tonight, Megan.
Stay safe.
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Old 08-28-2007, 07:39 PM
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Mom prayers for you and also Dad prayers for Mr Marle. Prayers for Megan to keep getting closer to the day when she's had enough. It's so hard to wait though for them to "get it". You're doing so great through all this.
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Old 08-29-2007, 05:50 PM
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(((Marle)))

I don't get here as often as i should so I just read through this thread...

please know that I am saying an extra prayer tonight for your daughter...

I always find such strength in your wisdom
I only wish your wisdom wasn't so painfully earned...

I pray your daughter will soon begin to seek recovery and will start the healing process....
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:34 PM
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Marle,

Work has kept me from having the time to be here like I want to. You and Megan are in my thoughts and prayers...

*hugs*
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Old 08-29-2007, 07:29 PM
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Still saying prayers for you, mr. marle and megan.
HUGS
Terri
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Old 08-29-2007, 07:38 PM
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Marle... With all that Megan has been through lately, I hope she will soon be ready for a better life. Hugs to you, Megan and Mr. Marle.
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Old 08-29-2007, 09:30 PM
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Marle,

So sorry I am coming to this thread so late, but I'll be praying that Megan will soon see the light. It's never to late to pray and a situation, such as this, is never too big for God to handle.

Hugs to you, too, Marle. You're a great mom and a wonderful example of what working recovery looks like.

Love you,
Hangin' In
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Old 08-30-2007, 12:46 PM
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You know there is always hope that today might be the day she finds her way, and if not today, then the hope is that it will be tomorrow. There are few things in life that are 100% ours and that no one can ever take away from us, but hope is one of those things. I will be praying for Megan.
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