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Shoot me NOW!!!

Old 08-22-2007, 09:01 AM
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Angry Shoot me NOW!!!

I did it again. AD called at 827am, she had been beaten, had glass in her hand and face and was calling from his uncles cell phone, two streets over. After verifying she was hurt, he was not there and she was calling police, I went to take her to hospital.

I got there, she was gone!! He had driven up (in a stolen car) and she said,"I'll be right back" and left. I waited and spoke to uncle and little sisters, ages 8&11. Then I left.

If she calls back, to voice mail it goes. I won't run out of here to help and injured person, even my daughter again. She made a fool out of me AGAIN!!!! Only good of it is Uncle seemed very concerned and unaware, and the little girls started telling things too. He asked if I would talk to the dad, who lets them stay at his place. I said I couldn't they have no phone and he speaks no english! He asked if he called and translated, I said sure. I think I am going to call CPS and reopen the case I attempted to file 3 months ago and they said no enough info!!!!


Please pray for me, I went to rescue her again. My child was hurt, but I was still wrong. I can't even cry...I feel that numb feeling again!!!!!

susan
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:09 AM
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i would have done the same thing, susan. i am praying really hard for you and your daughter. sending support and hugs, k

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:13 AM
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(((((caileesnana))))

I am so sorry that she continues to hurt you like this. I have no really words of encouragement, just to say that I am here and I am sorry.

<3, thoughts and prayers
C
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:14 AM
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Hey... don't be so hard on yourself. Your kid was hurt. And your kid is an addict. Everyone involved did what they naturally do.

I have run after my kid COUNTLESS times. When I accepted her as an addict, I stopped being surprised by her actions. Some of MY actions changed. But if she was hurt, I would still respond. Perhaps she would run... but my recovery had me stop predicting outcomes. That helped me a lot.


(((hugs)))

Prayers that she can find light and recovery soon.
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:16 AM
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by the way, susan - we won't shoot you. one thing i have learned in the alanon and open aa rooms - we don't shoot our wounded.

k
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:25 AM
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((((((Caileesnana)))))))

Your heart was in the right place. I'm sorry for your pain.
Continue with your own recovery. It does get easier with time.



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Old 08-22-2007, 09:34 AM
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Susan, Sending prayers your way. You did what any other caring person would do and the only person that sees you as a fool is you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just remember that she is an addict and she is only doing what addicts do. I know it feels like it but it is not personal. Took me a long time to get that. I remember sitting at my therapist's and telling her how betrayed I felt when my daughter would do certain things. She pointed out that my daughter had a disease and the things she was doing were symptoms of that disease. Next time instead of you going to save her, call the police. If she runs, she runs, but at least you are not putting yourself in a position to feel used. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:43 AM
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I'm sorry (((Susan)))),
You did nothing most of us wouldn't do. If my kid was hurt, I'd be there too.
As things progress we sometimes are able to step away and call for help for them instead, but again, I think I would have done the same as you.

About the only other choice we have is to stop answering calls, then we aren't put in that situation.
That's a toughie for me.
(((Hugs)))
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:48 AM
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I felt so stupid, standing there is the horrible part of town, and she left! THe uncle said he came by and she got in the car and said "i'll be right back". I called CPS about the young girls, they finnaly agree enought evidence to investigate. It's like she just wanted to see if I'd come.
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:54 AM
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i can hear your pain. and i have felt it also. maybe it's a good time to go back to beginning, that's what i have to do...

#1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

#2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

#3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:55 AM
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her CD counselor called and I told him. he explained that it is the cycle of abuse she is in. He said if she calls back to give her his number and for her to please call immediately. Ha--only if it would benenfit her. He said I didn't do anything wrong or enableing either. Thank you all, I thought I was working past these emotional roller coaster, but the sound of her voice, crying, and begging for help was too much.
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Old 08-22-2007, 09:58 AM
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oh susan...you're just doing the best you can. still praying over here. please let us know how it goes today. we're listening...
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Old 08-22-2007, 10:22 AM
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forgot this part. I was typing so fast and trying to work at the same time!!

As I left, I told both the children and uncle to tell Kasey I came and I love her. I told the girls she was my little girl, they laughed and said how much they liked her. I gave them the drug talk and to be careful, find someone trusted etc. I'm glad she is good to them, but she is still a bad influence.

I hope they tell her I cam and I love her. I want her to know, in her heart and drug infested mind that I do love her.
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Old 08-22-2007, 10:40 AM
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she knows.
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Old 08-22-2007, 11:57 AM
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despite the way she might act, in whatever remains of her heart and soul she knows.

That never changes.

Sending love YOUR way! You need and deserve it as well!
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Old 08-22-2007, 12:16 PM
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Susan, Maybe this happened so that you could once again feel the love that you have for Kasey instead of the anger. Your daughter, like mine, is not only dealing with the issues of addiction, she is also in a relationship with someone who wants to isolate and abuse her. The drugs make them just that much more vulnerable. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-22-2007, 12:43 PM
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********{Susan}}}}}}
hugs and prayers
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Old 08-22-2007, 12:51 PM
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I'm not going to shoot you either, I might have done the same thing.

She knows you love her, and one day soon she may love herself enough to get help. Until then just keep working your program and grow stronger every day.

Hugs
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Old 08-22-2007, 02:11 PM
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I would have done the same thing too. I don't think you did anything wrong...had you tried to chase her down and gone crawling through crack houses to find her, well that would have been a different story.

She called you because she was panicking. Sometimes the pull of the abuser is just too strong to react rationally in a heated moment. It's not you.

You are doing the best you can, be gentle with yourself. It's not only her that has been wounded in all this...
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Old 08-22-2007, 02:14 PM
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I don't think you did the wrong thing, I think she did the wrong thing. Period. You were only doing what any good mother would do, and hopefully one day, when she has found her way to recovery, she will look back and realize what anguish she put you through today and make amends for it, however she can.

*hugs*
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