My Mom Radar is going off...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
My Mom Radar is going off...
You know that feeling you get sometimes... the one that says something just isn't right?
My mom radar has been subtley beeping the past day or so. I have this little nagging feeling that something just isn't right with my son. I don't have any reason to believe that he's NOT in a good place - he's moved to a college town with his girlfriend, he has a good job and has been talking about taking some classes. He has been calling me more often, which is something he only does when he IS in a good place in his life.
But still... beep... beep... beep.
I know the drill - I have been taking care of me. I have let go of his choices and the consequences. I have made sure that I am in touch with my Higher Power, and I've wrapped my son in a blanket of love and I've handed him to my HP.
I also have enough recovery that I will just sit with these feelings and not ACT on them. I won't call to see if he's ok. I won't ask his brother if he's heard from him... I'll go on with my day just like always.
beep... beep.... beeeeeeeep.
Does it ever really go away? That mom radar that keeps us connected in some way to our kids?
Hugs
Cats
My mom radar has been subtley beeping the past day or so. I have this little nagging feeling that something just isn't right with my son. I don't have any reason to believe that he's NOT in a good place - he's moved to a college town with his girlfriend, he has a good job and has been talking about taking some classes. He has been calling me more often, which is something he only does when he IS in a good place in his life.
But still... beep... beep... beep.
I know the drill - I have been taking care of me. I have let go of his choices and the consequences. I have made sure that I am in touch with my Higher Power, and I've wrapped my son in a blanket of love and I've handed him to my HP.
I also have enough recovery that I will just sit with these feelings and not ACT on them. I won't call to see if he's ok. I won't ask his brother if he's heard from him... I'll go on with my day just like always.
beep... beep.... beeeeeeeep.
Does it ever really go away? That mom radar that keeps us connected in some way to our kids?
Hugs
Cats
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((Cat)))
Oh, I hear you alright!
As you go on, about your day, why not take a few minutes and do something nice just for you....just because.
Maybe a manicure? A pedicure? A movie? Or just a nice bubble bath? Oh, wouldn't that be so nice...
See my thread, "oh, yea, I remember; Be here now." It'll explain alot how much I can totally relate to what you're saying here right now...
Shalom, my friend...shalom!
Oh, I hear you alright!
As you go on, about your day, why not take a few minutes and do something nice just for you....just because.
Maybe a manicure? A pedicure? A movie? Or just a nice bubble bath? Oh, wouldn't that be so nice...
See my thread, "oh, yea, I remember; Be here now." It'll explain alot how much I can totally relate to what you're saying here right now...
Shalom, my friend...shalom!
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
((( Cat ))) To answer your question No, I don't think the special Mom radar ever goes away. I maintain I have a strong invisible connection with my two adult kids, a kind of sixth sense. My daughter was in a car accident at age 16. Fortunately, she was not harmed save for a dislocated shoulder. The car was totaled! At the moment of the accident I felt
sick and had to run to the john to throw up. I had a sense something was not right
with a loved one. A short time later I received the call about the accident.
Your recovery is shining through your post. As you sit with your feelings and go on with your day, I wish you a pleasant day. Do something soothing, comforting, fun
just for you today. Yipes, there are days I just imagine I'm wrapped in a soft blanket
and an HP nanny is rocking me gently. AS is wrapped in one too. God has us both LOL What a pair we are.
Hugs
sick and had to run to the john to throw up. I had a sense something was not right
with a loved one. A short time later I received the call about the accident.
Your recovery is shining through your post. As you sit with your feelings and go on with your day, I wish you a pleasant day. Do something soothing, comforting, fun
just for you today. Yipes, there are days I just imagine I'm wrapped in a soft blanket
and an HP nanny is rocking me gently. AS is wrapped in one too. God has us both LOL What a pair we are.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Hurricane Alley, Fl
Posts: 119
Hmmm....Sometimes my mom radar is right on target. Most times I am obsessing, out of fear of the possibilities and that once again, the urgent, itchy knowledge that I am truly, completely, permanently powerless over my son's choices. And he makes so many bad ones.
I started this morning with his senseless anger, at me, over nothing. That always makes me think he is using. He might be. But I can't stop him. He's like a moving train and I could lay down on the tracks and he would just keep rolling...can't control, didn't cause, can't cure...I can only let go..
Rambling here, Cats, mostly i want to say: love and (((((((((momhugs))))))) ~ Nitelite
I started this morning with his senseless anger, at me, over nothing. That always makes me think he is using. He might be. But I can't stop him. He's like a moving train and I could lay down on the tracks and he would just keep rolling...can't control, didn't cause, can't cure...I can only let go..
Rambling here, Cats, mostly i want to say: love and (((((((((momhugs))))))) ~ Nitelite
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
frankie-
my dad says he did the same thing with my first car accident. I was 16, and he heard the fire trucks fly by the house with their sirens on (I was a block away from the house when it happened) and he just knew I was involved... said he almost threw up. I was lucky to have no injury at all, less the guilt I felt because I had totalled my first car within one month of getting my license.
Call me crazy, but I feel like the radar thing can work both ways. I knew that my sister had overdosed days before mom told me, just because I had a sick feeling in my stomach. That and mom wasn't calling. At that time, she would normally call me every day with an update. Or maybe it's not that it works both ways, maybe I was just taking on so much of the parenting role at that moment that I was beginning to inherit that ability? Who knows...
my dad says he did the same thing with my first car accident. I was 16, and he heard the fire trucks fly by the house with their sirens on (I was a block away from the house when it happened) and he just knew I was involved... said he almost threw up. I was lucky to have no injury at all, less the guilt I felt because I had totalled my first car within one month of getting my license.
Call me crazy, but I feel like the radar thing can work both ways. I knew that my sister had overdosed days before mom told me, just because I had a sick feeling in my stomach. That and mom wasn't calling. At that time, she would normally call me every day with an update. Or maybe it's not that it works both ways, maybe I was just taking on so much of the parenting role at that moment that I was beginning to inherit that ability? Who knows...
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Cats, not trying to hijack your thread. This radar thing is very real. Mine went off when AS was knifed in a fight.
Jewel, I hear you and there's nothing crazy about that sense we feel...
I had similar feelings when my brother oded and died. I was very close to him and I know without a doubt I have a spiritual connection to my dearest loved ones.
Jewel, I hear you and there's nothing crazy about that sense we feel...
I had similar feelings when my brother oded and died. I was very close to him and I know without a doubt I have a spiritual connection to my dearest loved ones.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I don't think it ever stops beeping Cats
The difference in my days is how I react to the beeps.
Some days I just tell myself its me, my hormones, or I'm frustrated or tired etc.
Other days it comes right out of the blue, and catches me off guard
I've thought about it being some type of connection, but the truth is I don't have the same beeps with my other two. My oldest son's "beep" is of a different pitch I think...one that says
"Don't even THINK about it"
Again, I think its me beeping, when I feel out of tune with the world.
Hope your radar quiets soon for you Cats,
(((Hugs)))
Cece
The difference in my days is how I react to the beeps.
Some days I just tell myself its me, my hormones, or I'm frustrated or tired etc.
Other days it comes right out of the blue, and catches me off guard
I've thought about it being some type of connection, but the truth is I don't have the same beeps with my other two. My oldest son's "beep" is of a different pitch I think...one that says
"Don't even THINK about it"
Again, I think its me beeping, when I feel out of tune with the world.
Hope your radar quiets soon for you Cats,
(((Hugs)))
Cece
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I think it is real. I also think there it can be a message... time to surrender. He is in the care of his HP. There is a plan and a path.
Sometimes, I ask God to please scoot him along a bit faster, 'kay? Sometimes... it seems like God responds.
I often pray for patience...for peace... for comfort and for safety. My prayers for those things are going up for you and your son... right this minute.
((((Cat)))))
Sometimes, I ask God to please scoot him along a bit faster, 'kay? Sometimes... it seems like God responds.
I often pray for patience...for peace... for comfort and for safety. My prayers for those things are going up for you and your son... right this minute.
((((Cat)))))
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
My son called this afternoon, all is well in his world.... and all was well in mine today. I love that I can come here, share a concern and then let it go. I know that I'll get love, support and encouragement from you, my recovery friends....as well as a good swift kick in the butt with steel toed bunny slippers if necessary, or a smack upside the head with a skillet if that's all that will get me back on track.
Thanks for being here
Cats
Thanks for being here
Cats
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mary alice, KY
Posts: 122
catspajamas
hi.....my son died may 15,2006...one week shy of his 20th b-day. I still hear the radar going off even though I know he is in heaven and the trinity...The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost are his family now. But the beep beep beep beep beep beep will never ever go away. When our children were born I believe that we could distinguish their crfrom every other baby. This sort of goes along with the radar. We will forever lidten for those distress signals because we worry and worrying is what parents do best. Hang in there...
Viki
hi.....my son died may 15,2006...one week shy of his 20th b-day. I still hear the radar going off even though I know he is in heaven and the trinity...The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost are his family now. But the beep beep beep beep beep beep will never ever go away. When our children were born I believe that we could distinguish their crfrom every other baby. This sort of goes along with the radar. We will forever lidten for those distress signals because we worry and worrying is what parents do best. Hang in there...
Viki
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
:(ps the skillet is for both of us)
Oh, Cats, you hit the nail on the head. We are talking with AD; getting to see granddaughter and she is calling again now and then but I still have my radar ignited!
It is because we know what can happen and we want to be prepared or are we experienced enough to know that something will happen? I just hear my AD "quacking" enough to realize that not all is as it appears but I sure don't want to go inviting trouble.
Viki,
I am so sorry for your loss.
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