As is leaving Oxford House

Old 08-21-2007, 12:38 PM
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As is leaving Oxford House

He has met a guy in his "220" Na meeting thats offered to half his rent. The house he's in, (let me preface all this, with this is all according to him) has been pretty rough lately. They threw two guys out that was in a knife fight and later found they were smoking crack in the house. He called to get my opinion and I just told him that his recovery was up to him. He tried to reassure me by telling me about this guys recovery and he said he had talked to his sponsor about it. I once again told him its his decision and reminded him there were other Oxford houses in Nashville. Anyway, Im not sure how I feel about it, he sounds great, he is holding a job, which is a first, and hes almost self sufficient besides a few bills and little money here and there. So, Ive decided Im not going to worry about something before it even happens and let his hp take care of this.
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Old 08-21-2007, 12:44 PM
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let it grow!
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if he's not asking you support it financially - i say let him do it with no questions asked.

just my opinion...

hugs out, k
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Old 08-21-2007, 12:45 PM
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hands off the addict. you told him the right things. prayers for u both.
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Old 08-21-2007, 12:54 PM
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Good job Lake.

Sometimes I have to step away and remind myself of what I prayed so hard for in the was for much less than what I sometimes expect now in my kid.

I simply prayed for him to be kept safe (he was)
And for him to see wehat he was doing to himself (he did)
And for him to get on a better path (he did)
And to get a darn job (he even did that...and a good one)

Its when I step away and see these things that I realize that although not perfect, we're SO much better than we were a few years ago. I have to be careful not to get too picky.

Prayers his arrangements work out for him
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Old 08-21-2007, 01:41 PM
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All You Can Do Is Take It One Day At A Time. Sounds Like He's Doing Good, And Like You Said, His Life Is In His Hands. Keep The Faith And Keep Up The Good Work.
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:32 PM
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I admire you! I'll keep him in my prayers.

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Old 08-21-2007, 03:32 PM
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Wow, Lake... you have come a long way. I know how hard this is... one of mine left Oxford on his own, one was kicked out.

(the one who was kicked out - she's the clean one!)

But what I know today is that ALL my relationships with BOTH kids are better... because I am better.

You are walking the path, Lake. Know you are not alone. ((hugs))
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:40 PM
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I agree with all above me. It sounds like he's doing really well, and you totally said the right thing. Keep us posted!

*hugs and prayers*
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Old 08-21-2007, 04:07 PM
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Good job keeping your "hands off the addict". Your son will continue with his recovery or not and there is not one darn thing that you can or can't do to make a difference. But I know that you already know that one Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:56 PM
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What's a "220"
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Old 08-21-2007, 07:01 PM
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Great job and I'm so happy he is doing well. Sometimes things like that will happen in a recovery house...I know my daughter's rehab had situations where the pizza man was bringing in drugs...If someone wants it, they will find a way. I hope his decision moves him along his recovery journey...I know your journey has been progressing well; your response to him shows this!
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Old 08-21-2007, 07:19 PM
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Sounds like you two guys are doing pretty well right now. That is the thing that scares me about my daughter going to a sober living house. I do hear things like that. I just don't know what to think. I know they will do well if they really want to, but I don't think its a good idea to have people like that living in the same house.
We always tell them they have to change people, places and things. They do that and it still isn't good when they end up living with people who continue to use. Maybe it will be good for him to move out. Glad you put the decision making on him.
Keep us posted.
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Old 08-21-2007, 10:17 PM
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Old 08-22-2007, 03:23 AM
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I think you're doing just find with this, Lake, and it sounds like your son is doing fine too.

We moms would like to thing that there really IS a safe place for our addict kids, a place where there will be no drugs and no problems and where they will be safe and clean.

Sadly, there is no safe place with addiction. Many stay clean in terrible neighbourhoods and under poor conditions, and some cannot stay clean if you put them on a desert island 1000 miles from the nearest just works like that.

I think your son will be fine. And he will be fine or not fine regardless of where he lives.

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Old 08-22-2007, 04:00 AM
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So happy for you & your son.

Love & Prayers,
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Old 08-22-2007, 04:03 AM
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It's all up to your son. If you make a decision for him, then you end up carrying the burdens.
Letting go is so hard for us Mothers.
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