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Old 08-19-2007, 05:34 AM
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let it grow!
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broken glass

we told her the house would be locked at 11 last night - enough time for her to get to a meeting and home. we also told her she needs to move out - by the first of week, and that if she wants treatment, we'll take her to rehab.

she called around 5:30 in the morning. we ignored it. then she put her hand though our back door window. god help us..

i wanted to take her to er. hubby said no.

what can we do? i'm just at a loss..
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Old 08-19-2007, 05:47 AM
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Stick to your guns, get her out of your house. And, possibly get an alarm system.

If she breaks in after you toss her out, call the police.

That's all you can do.
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Old 08-19-2007, 05:54 AM
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(((((k)))))
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Old 08-19-2007, 06:07 AM
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(((k))) I am sorry this is happening. It hurts, I know. Stick to your boundaries. Your daughter knows that there is help for her when she is ready. Until then let her figure it out. Get the chaos out of your house. Hugs and prayers, Marle
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Old 08-19-2007, 06:08 AM
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I agree with dollydo. I'd make it clear she had to leave and if she breaks in ever again you'll call the police. I did that with my daughter when she was 15 and running away. She broke into the house when everyone was at work, so I called police and they decided to find her. They weren't even trying when she had run away and I was out of my mind with worry.
__________
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Old 08-19-2007, 07:28 AM
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let her go. it is hard but it is the thing to do. prayers for you & your daughter.
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Old 08-19-2007, 08:07 AM
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I'm sorry, K...I can hear how this is tearing you up. I too think you have to stick to your boundaries. I suspect if she knows you will call the police if she tries something like that again, that she won't do so.

If you can, add some extra meetings or use the phone list. This is when the support of the program helps to keep us sane. Hugs and many prayers for all of you.
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Old 08-19-2007, 08:47 AM
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Hugs, K. You are a strong woman, stronger than you think. I can't think of a single wise thing to say today. Just know that the wisdom you give to others will lead you.
krhea
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:03 AM
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(((((K))))))

I'm so sorry for the chaos and drama that she has brought to you and your husband.
My son called at 5:30 in the morning once.
I told him I would unlock the door long enough for him to get his things together and that I would drive him wherever he needed to go, but that it wouldn't be here any longer. He went to his dads. You know how that went.
Your in my thoughts and prayers today. Be strong. Getting her out is the best for all involved, I'm afraid.

Love,
Linda
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:15 AM
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((((K))))
Sending prayers your way. I think the others are right. Stick to your boundries and make her leave. I know this will be hard but she has to suffer the consequences that SHE has let happen. Stay strong, we know you can do this.
Love
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:24 AM
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She has an option of going to detox and rehab, and if she doesn't choose that then she's not ready to stop using and that's not a good time to have them in the house.

My heart goes out to you, I've been there and done that.

Hugs
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:25 AM
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it's not hard. she's going to kill herself if she doesn't get help. and i can't help. thanks, everyone..
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:48 AM
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Or maybe she will find a way to pick herself up and try again. Prayers for you and your daughter. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-19-2007, 11:02 AM
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parent,

i have often read your threads and I can commiserate with you and my heart goes out to you along with my prayers for your family. It is like seeing someone on a collision course and ready to self destruct and not being able to do anything to help. And that's a realy tough place to be. It was and is hard for me because we all know you are not dealing with a rational person because who in their right mind would want to live that life. Then I would think how can they make the right choice if they aren't in their right mind. Of course the answer is they have to experience the pain and difficulty of their choices and even though we hate to see them do it by letting them do exactly that we may be saving their life somewhere down the road. I told my son I'd see him in jail before letting him be released to the streets again and if that meant my pressing charges then so be it. He sought help, went to a six month program , came out, lasted six weeks, relapsed and now has been clean for three months, holding down two jobs. all is not perfect. to let him do this I cut off all contact with him but for him to do this on his own and for me to retain my sanity it was my only way. I pray for him, I wish him well but I know the bond I wanted is not going to ever be there or ever the same. But if it affords him sobriety I will relinquish that. I will pray for you but I don't think giving in to her will help. Maybe a final intervention might. Prayers to you, dixie
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Old 08-19-2007, 11:34 AM
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(((k)))
hugs and prayers for continued strength and recovery
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Old 08-19-2007, 05:27 PM
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You and your hubby deserve to live in peace. Breaking windows and causing you all of this drama is not peaceful. I would give her an ultimatum. Either she goes for help or she is out. If she is out and ever comes to your home and destroys anything then you will have her arrested for vandelism. Does she have a job......can she pay for the window replacement? I know that is only part of it but she needs to held accountable in some way.
Take care of yourself. I know this is a hard place to be in.

Prayers.............Lo
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Old 08-19-2007, 06:35 PM
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K,
I'm so sorry you are going through this again. It is so,so hard. I too have had to call the police and have her removed. We as parents do not deserve to be afraid in our own homes.

blessings and prayers,
susan
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Old 08-19-2007, 07:45 PM
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I am sorry you have to go through all this chaos and pain.
Stick to your boundaries. Children, no matter how old they are, know what they can get away with.
I hope you can find peace through all this.
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Old 08-19-2007, 08:44 PM
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Just big hugs K...you are greatly admired for you strength throughout this..

Karen
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:50 AM
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I am sorry you are going through this. You know where you stand and I cannot imagine your heart ache.

Kids usually put their parents through the wringer as they grow up.

Kids that are addicts put their parents through hell.
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