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-   -   Daughter called-need prayers (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/130941-daughter-called-need-prayers.html)

marle 08-17-2007 12:56 PM

Daughter called-need prayers
 
Of course it was not to inquire about how I am doing:) Actually her abf got into a bar fight. Seems someone made a remark about her big boobs. Megan and Steve got into another fight (he is insanely jealous) so Megan walked back to the apartment. Next thing she got a call that someone had hit Steve with a pool cue. He is now in Detroit. Shattered his jaw, bones poking through the roof of his mouth. Megan needed someone to talk to and of course that was me. Seems that they have no money (except for drugs). He has no insurance. Can't have surgery until he see a specialist. Broke out his 4 back teeth so there is nothing to wire his jaw to. Has to have plates. Now I absolutely hate this man, but I hate to see anyone in pain, even if their lifestyle is the reason for it. So please keep him in your prayers and maybe say a prayer that Megan may see this as her chance (and his) to get better. Hugs and thanks, Marle

cece1960 08-17-2007 01:00 PM

He, you and your daughter are in my prayers ((((Marle)))

lightquest 08-17-2007 01:02 PM

Prayers and hugs!!

caileesnana 08-17-2007 01:06 PM

Glad she called YOU!

Prayers and guidance for Megan, prayers for the other one to release his pain and demons.
hugs,
susan

BigSis 08-17-2007 01:10 PM

No coincidences, Marle... something (good, I hope!!) cooking here. Prayers going up.... (((hugs)))

codependent1 08-17-2007 01:12 PM

praying for you!! Hang in there.....this may just be the breaking point for her!

parentrecovers 08-17-2007 01:27 PM

i've "kind of" learned to accept - if it's not one thing, it's another. my prayers out to you and your daughter and the guy. it's just chaos...blessings, k

pjbs55 08-17-2007 01:32 PM

((marle))
Sending prayers for all of you. I am praying this is what they need to find their recovery. Keep working on yours,
Hugs

Louise54 08-17-2007 01:34 PM

I hope she will see the light after this. I'm praying for you and your daughter.

marle 08-17-2007 01:35 PM

Thanks guys and yes, I did use this opportunity to tell her that it goes along with the lifestyle. Don't think she is quite ready to grasp it yet. But I did tell her that if she needs to vent to someone, she can call me. When she visited him last night at the hospital he tried to blame her because she is a sl*t, etc. I think that she is getting tired but he holds the keys to the drugs and she is not quite ready to give them up. One thing I have learned from these forums is that it takes a lot for a woman to give up her addict and my daughter is no different except she uses too. She has a lot of the other characteristics such as low self-esteem and codependent tendencies. So there is more here than just her desire for drugs. Hugs, Marle

MeggieStar 08-17-2007 01:40 PM

((Marle)) if only he would go a few blocks over to the Salvation Army on Fort St., I know they have beds open right now. There are other places for women nearby too, for Megan...

I pray for her that perhaps this will help her see a new path. You are very strong for letting her cry on your shoulder. Hugs and strength for you...

marle 08-17-2007 01:53 PM

Meggie, I suggested that to Megan. Megan can go to any rehab in Michigan that will take Blue Cross. Her policy would cover 90 days. Out of pocket for her would be $2500 and her dad and I would gladly pay that if she completed the rehab and went to a sober living house afterward. Steve would need a free rehab because even though he makes in excess of $100,000 a year, he does not have a pot to p*ss in. And he is an independent contractor that does not have insurance. They are living with his mother and from what Megan said, they will be homeless soon because the mom has been enabling their drug habit and she does not make much more than minimum wage. I am sure the mom enables out of guilt and because before Steve got into crack he would help his mom out when she needed something. He was the good son. Anyway, things are happening just like they should and I am not having any expectations because I know that sometimes nothing except death will stop an addict and Steve does not think he has a problem. Megan knows she does but is afraid to live life withouth the drugs and face the wreakage that she has made. Hugs, Marle

frankly 08-17-2007 02:33 PM

((marle))

Oh lord, I have to admit, this was a trigger for me, bad memories of when My son's jaw got broken in two places and snapped a back tooth in half, by an out of control tweeker on a rampage.

I will tell you this, right now, that young man doesn't have a clue about what he is going to experience. It can and probably will, be life changing. Even though it's his consequence, I feel so sorry for him. Everything he does, or doesn't do, will be life threatening. If he swallows wrong, he can drown on his own spit before the wires can be cut to save him. He will have to walk around with wire cutters around his neck at all times, he will be in a constant battle to get enough calories down through a straw, to keep him alive.

It may be exactly what he needs to change his life, and hopefully your daughters too.

My prayers for you and them.
B

rozied 08-17-2007 02:40 PM

(((Marle)))
Prayers for Megan & her ABF.
Also for you & your hubby.
This is so hard. I know exactely how you feel. You also seem to have a good understanding of why she stays with him.
It is very hard to leave an addict. My 1st was addicted to gambling & I had no addictions yet it took me 10yrs plus 2 kids to finally know I had to end it & not look bk. I was only 18 when I married him & 27 when I ended it

Hope your daughter chooses recovery soon

Love,
Diane
PS She is lucky to have you & her dad waiting to help once she does.

notsleepingwell 08-17-2007 02:43 PM

Marle...
Prayers going up honey!!! Maybe this will be the planted seed, or not...but whatever happens, we're with YOU!!

marle 08-17-2007 02:48 PM

frankly, He is 37 so he is not a spring chicken and he is a crack addict, so it will probably be extra tough. Plus he smokes like a chimney. I told Megan that he will be crabby. He does not have his crack, his smokes and he is in pain. She is too because he supplies the drugs, they are his connections. So all around it is a bad deal. I never thought about all the things he will have to go through. Makes me feel a bit of compassion for him. Thanks, Marle

hope213 08-17-2007 03:22 PM

i am sorry her b.f. is going thru this. i hate it when the addicts do these things to themselves. i will say a prayer for him & megan too. i hope they can find recovery thru this. hugs,

dollydo 08-17-2007 04:30 PM

My prayers are for you and your daughter, may she find her way out of the insanity, and that you will be at peace, regardless of the outcome.

MrDee 08-17-2007 04:41 PM

Miss you Marle....sending big hugs!
Love, Barb

ladyjane 08-17-2007 05:27 PM

Prayers to you all.
____________
Trish


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