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Think I've Had Enough

Old 08-17-2007, 11:38 AM
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rozied
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Think I've Had Enough

You know this addiction has ben going on with my son for 20yrs. Even after all he has lost he still tells me he likes it.
I believe him & thats the trouble. It is too hard to bear watching him destroy himself. I think I must tell him not to call me at all until he decides to stop.
Thats the way I feel.
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:40 AM
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let it grow!
 
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hugs. good choice. he'll understand and thank you for allowing him to find his way when he gets clean and sober...blessings, k
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:55 AM
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I think you are getting stronger every day!
prayers,
susan
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:58 AM
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Diane,

As hard as it seems, this may be what is for the best for now.
He needs a wake up call and not having mom around to "listen" and just be there for him, may do it. Not saying it will help him, but honey, it will help you. I know.
I haven't talked to my son in 3 days now. Just too exhausting. I've worked the last 10 days straight and my only day off was yesterday. He didn't call me. I didn't call him. I'm thinking of him and wondering about him, but damm*t, he needs to realize that I'm not always gonna be there to "vent" to.
I love my son, just as I know you love yours, but something has got to give here.
Ya know? Last time I talked to Jason, he and the gf had been arguing quite a bit, they both had no job and were living in her apartment, and his dad was back in jail. Long story.
I'll probably hear from him soon, I'm sure, to complain about having no money, no job, and the gf. Until then, I'm just gonna live my life stress free. I'm willing to try it, anyway. lol
Love, prayers, and big o' hugs from this mom to you,
Linda
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:34 PM
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((((Diane))))
It is a decision that is very hard but I think a good one. It is a good boundary, if you can keep it by not answering when he does call.

Just know I am thinking of you and praying for you. I know this has been breaking your heart for 20 years as well.
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Old 08-17-2007, 01:04 PM
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Diane, I miss my daughter. But when I see her it hurts too much. I choose not to see her. It is a hard choice. One made after a lot of trying to figure out a way to see her and not have her addiction hurt me so much. We make boundaries so that we can survive. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-17-2007, 02:13 PM
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Remember it's ok to do what you need to do to take care of YOU.
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Old 08-17-2007, 03:41 PM
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rozied
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Thanx everyone. I haven't told him yet but when the time is right I will
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Old 08-17-2007, 03:44 PM
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Maybe you don't need to "tell" him, just don't take his calls.

When I told my daughter my boundaries, I was often seeking her cooperation... and THAT was never going to happen.


Wishing you the best.
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Old 08-17-2007, 04:10 PM
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BigSis, that's so true!!

I am sorry rozied that you are going through the pain. But, maybe someday he will wake up. I keep praying this for both my sons.
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Old 08-17-2007, 04:31 PM
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((((( rozied))))) that will be hard. prayers,
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Old 08-17-2007, 04:36 PM
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You already know that I think it is a good idea. I wouldn't talk to him about it, I'd just not take his calls. He will figure it out for himself. Remember he is 40, not 4.

Help him, by allowing him to help himself.

You have going thru this stress for 20 years, if you don't set your bounderies and stick to them, you will end up destroying you. You have a husband, another son and grandchildren. They need their wife, mother and grandmother, if you don't do it for any other reason, do it for them.

Love,
Dolly
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Old 08-17-2007, 08:15 PM
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Hi Rozied

Only 20 years? Let's see now for me it's been probably close to 30 years.

Right now he is incarcerated and doing well! That's the only time I like him when he is in a structured environment. He would have done well as a "liffer" in the service.

At least your son is honest in that he likes the drugs.

As far as watching him destroy his life, guess we just have to go on with our life and do what we like too! This way everyone is happy.

Hugs, Devastated
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