Truffles

I haven't posted in awhile, but come here everyday to read. My RAH hasn't used in about 8 months, we moved out of state, new house, new start. He has been working 3 jobs and everything has been good.

Just this past week things seem off - him not coming home when he said he would, he seeming distance. Sat night he didn't come home after his one job, said he was with friends and drank to much. That is no excuse, I told him all of these old feelings surfaced all again. He also cheated on me when he was using. He said he was so sorry and blah blah.

So tonight he said he would be home about 6 and he wasn't I called and he was on his way. When he went out bike riding with our son I looked in his wallet (I know I shouldn't have, I stopped snooping a long time ago) so I find a receipt that he and someone else ate at and it was paid for at 5:10 and then I find a key to the hotel that is right there. I called the hotel and asked for my RAH room and she put me thru, nobody answered.

I don't know what to do, I even question if he is using. When he was his face looked puffy and that is how it looks now. But he is sleeping, that is one thing he didn't do when using coke.

Sorry for rambling - I am so at a lose, things have been good since we moved (which was a huge choice to make on my part) and I can't beleive I have all these feelings again. I can't and don't want to relive what I went thru for so long. I didn't mention what I found. I did try and talk to him about what has been going on and he just turns it around to me.

Thanks for listening

frankly

((Truffles))

I'm sorry the rollercoaster of emotions is hitting you again. I don't know what he is or isn't doing, but time will tell all. I know that's hard, to just sit back and wait. But I'm not sure what else you can do. I always say trust your gut, then sometimes my own fears overwhelm my gut.

Hoping your gut feeling are wrong, and saying a prayer for you and your husband.

B

krhea75

Hey truffles,
Sorry for the return of the lies and relapse. I think it is always a possibility for our addicts. That's what makes it so freakin' hard. Hope that things work out for you. You deserve to be treated better.
krhea

Truffles

Today he wakes up and tells me I need to get my crap together and stop accusing him of stuff.

This sounds so much like the past - he would turn it around to me, tell me I was crazy and then months later find out I was right.

I just don't know what to do. I hate the feeling I have and how this consumes all of my thinking.

Ann

Awww, Truffles, I'm sorry this is happening. Sadly, the old adage is true..."wherever I go, I take me with me."

An addict may move but that doesn't mean the addiction won't go with them. And drinking is a bad sign because alcohol is a drug too and will eventually take them back to their drug of choice.

Trust your instinct, as painful as that may be, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. This is the kind of situation where the support of live meetings can make a huge difference. If you don't already go, maybe try a few and see if it doesn't help you heal and know your own heart.

We know what we know, instinct or evidence really doesn't matter. When our heart tells us something is terribly wrong, we can trust that it is. We can't fix them or what they are doing but we can sure find ways to help ourselves move from victim to survivor. Prayers go out for light to guide you.

Hugs

hope213

what a bummer. i hope you are wrong on this but you know your husbands patterns by know. know we are here for you to support you all the way. there is nothing you can do about him. get your tools out & use them.i am saying a preayer for you & your husband both.hugs,