what to expect after he stays clean?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
What I have come to learn about crack addiction and my son,
is that he appears to be wedged into the age frame of when
he began drugs. He is 21 now and when speaking to him it is
as if he is still at the age when his addiction started to progress.
I attribute this to his age of progression of drugs, perhaps around
16 or 17 when it intensified. During this time of doing drugs they
bascially are not living life as we know it . Therefore my guess is
that your friend has a lot of life learning to do to catch up to his
actual life age.
Just as how I see it as a parent of an addict.
lauren
is that he appears to be wedged into the age frame of when
he began drugs. He is 21 now and when speaking to him it is
as if he is still at the age when his addiction started to progress.
I attribute this to his age of progression of drugs, perhaps around
16 or 17 when it intensified. During this time of doing drugs they
bascially are not living life as we know it . Therefore my guess is
that your friend has a lot of life learning to do to catch up to his
actual life age.
Just as how I see it as a parent of an addict.
lauren
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the south
Posts: 219
studies indicate that when drug usage begins emotional growth stops at that level. it is documented. it can be "put right" but takes patience and understanding. hurdles such as paying bills, gardening (aka....which tool do I use for what?) mundane simple things must be learned. they have not lived but merely existed in a haze....so basically they must learn to live again. budgeting money is another area......EVEN KEEPING A CHECKBOOK..........if he is truly trying do not lose heart but encourage him because it is a real obstacle that takes time..........my best, dixie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
lol. the answer to that question is ALOT of issues.
Not only is he dealing with cravings, but he is dealing with the mess that he made of his life. I imagine he'll be feeling pretty depressed for a while because his brain has been relying on crack for pleasure. His brain is basically going to have to relearn how to get pleasure from normal day to day activities.
Addicts are very immature. They have a lot of growing up to do. How fast this happens depends on how focused they are on recovery, figuring out the personal issues that lead them to use crack in the first place and working on them, not just staying clean or white-knuckling it.
You might want to read about PAWS and flare-ups as these are very real conditions that recovering crack addicts face. The longer your friend stays clean, the easier it is to stay clean but the crack-demon will be in him for the rest of his life, dormant, just waiting for an opportunity to come back to life.
Crack changes people. I speak from personal experience. And I have a non-using crack addict living on my couch right now.
Not only is he dealing with cravings, but he is dealing with the mess that he made of his life. I imagine he'll be feeling pretty depressed for a while because his brain has been relying on crack for pleasure. His brain is basically going to have to relearn how to get pleasure from normal day to day activities.
Addicts are very immature. They have a lot of growing up to do. How fast this happens depends on how focused they are on recovery, figuring out the personal issues that lead them to use crack in the first place and working on them, not just staying clean or white-knuckling it.
You might want to read about PAWS and flare-ups as these are very real conditions that recovering crack addicts face. The longer your friend stays clean, the easier it is to stay clean but the crack-demon will be in him for the rest of his life, dormant, just waiting for an opportunity to come back to life.
Crack changes people. I speak from personal experience. And I have a non-using crack addict living on my couch right now.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
Its hard to say as everyone is different. I'll give you a little background from my experience with my exabf. He has beeng drinking since the age of 17, he is now 34 and is beyond lost in life. He broke up with me a month and a half ago (7 months sober). He said he doesn't know who he is, how to act, depressed, guilt ridden, total remore for all past problems he NEVER dealt with. His family life is also a mess, that he never dealt with, he has a sister in law addicted to cocaine and is always bailing her out instead of helping himself and keeps using that as an excuse. He does go to AA and has a sponsor but like others have mentioned ... hes a dry drunk and white knuckling it. He never changed his people, places or things. He drinks O'douls, hangs out at bars.....not saying your friend is at all like this, but i'm just saying its going to take a long time to come back. My al anon sponsor told me that they revert back to the age when they started drinking/drugging as they never learned coping skills along the way......
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I agree with all the above comments, but I wanted to add my expereince with my son (now 22).
Seems I was getting in the way quite often of his maturity in that I would take care of things too often as they went wrong.
I robbed him of learning the "hard way" as we all were given the opportunity to do in our formidable years.
So I try to understand a little better why it may not come naturally to him...but he's learning...so am I
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Seems I was getting in the way quite often of his maturity in that I would take care of things too often as they went wrong.
I robbed him of learning the "hard way" as we all were given the opportunity to do in our formidable years.
So I try to understand a little better why it may not come naturally to him...but he's learning...so am I
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
amen to all of the above. In the "big book" of AA/NA it states that alcohol and drugs are simply a symptom of the disease.....which is a sickness of the soul/spirit. Not using is really the least of the issue in my experience. That is honestly the easy part - and that's not easy at all.
Also, in my experience with addiction, the experts all clearly explain that there is actually no cure for the disease of addiction. It is - at best - in remission. Once someone turns into a "cucumber" they can never ever be a pickle again. Everything has changed and it never goes away. Learning to live life on life's terms is what the future holds for every one of us in recovery. You asked if they ever grew up? I guess that it depends on whether or not they do the work. It has to be done by them though not because it's what someone else in their life suggests....the rooms of recovery are where many recovering addicts learn to develop the skills that help them with life.
I would read all of the sticky's at the top of the forum if this is someone that you are involved with....it's a tough road to walk and knowledge of what you are dealing with is imperative. Take the time to take a crash course on what this is all about if someone in your life has this disease. If you have someone in your life with addiction then it is highly likely that you have caught the "anon" disease as well.
Also, in my experience with addiction, the experts all clearly explain that there is actually no cure for the disease of addiction. It is - at best - in remission. Once someone turns into a "cucumber" they can never ever be a pickle again. Everything has changed and it never goes away. Learning to live life on life's terms is what the future holds for every one of us in recovery. You asked if they ever grew up? I guess that it depends on whether or not they do the work. It has to be done by them though not because it's what someone else in their life suggests....the rooms of recovery are where many recovering addicts learn to develop the skills that help them with life.
I would read all of the sticky's at the top of the forum if this is someone that you are involved with....it's a tough road to walk and knowledge of what you are dealing with is imperative. Take the time to take a crash course on what this is all about if someone in your life has this disease. If you have someone in your life with addiction then it is highly likely that you have caught the "anon" disease as well.
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