Controlling Your Impulses
I'm no angel!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Controlling Your Impulses
Many of us have problems controlling our impulses. It was a real issue for me, I am better, but, not cured. Thought the below might be of interest.
Improve your impulse control today
You may have noticed that lack of impulse control can get you into all sorts of trouble. Generally speaking, the more problems you have controlling your impulses the more difficult and complicated your life becomes.
Our impulses tend to make us greedy, insensitive and thoughtless. Impulse is driven by emotion and the more emotional we become, the less clearly we are able to think.
A lack of impulse control can make us say things we regret, be addictive, go for short term 'advantage' despite long term losses and eventually wreck your life and that of people around you.
There is often a little voice at the back of your mind that tries to tell you that maybe it's not such a great idea to binge on that cream cake, pursue that married person, swear at the boss or whatever, but the emotional impulse swamps straight clear thinking.
There are enough forty year old children around. To truly develop we need to gain effective impulse control.
Self mastery though impulse control
Every living thing has certain needs and we are born with the resources to meet those needs. Amongst other things, we have needs for food, sex, rest and drink.
The front top part of your brain (the prefrontal lobes) are responsible for impulse control and seeing possible consequences to immediate actions. This part of the brain isn't properly 'wired' until the age of around twenty which partly explains why teenagers are so often impulsive with little thought to consequences.
What marks us humans out from animals is a part of the brain called the neo-cortex. If we don't use this as a guide to our decision making processes at least some of the time then we are not using what nature has given us - we are not meant to be purely impulse driven creatures.
Developing the ability to delay gratification enables you to mature as a human being and lead a more productive and happier life.
So impulse control is really about self mastery. If you are always at the beck and call of emotionally charged impulses then you are like a ship in a storm with no one at the helm.
*************************************
hypnosis downloads.com
Improve your impulse control today
You may have noticed that lack of impulse control can get you into all sorts of trouble. Generally speaking, the more problems you have controlling your impulses the more difficult and complicated your life becomes.
Our impulses tend to make us greedy, insensitive and thoughtless. Impulse is driven by emotion and the more emotional we become, the less clearly we are able to think.
A lack of impulse control can make us say things we regret, be addictive, go for short term 'advantage' despite long term losses and eventually wreck your life and that of people around you.
There is often a little voice at the back of your mind that tries to tell you that maybe it's not such a great idea to binge on that cream cake, pursue that married person, swear at the boss or whatever, but the emotional impulse swamps straight clear thinking.
There are enough forty year old children around. To truly develop we need to gain effective impulse control.
Self mastery though impulse control
Every living thing has certain needs and we are born with the resources to meet those needs. Amongst other things, we have needs for food, sex, rest and drink.
The front top part of your brain (the prefrontal lobes) are responsible for impulse control and seeing possible consequences to immediate actions. This part of the brain isn't properly 'wired' until the age of around twenty which partly explains why teenagers are so often impulsive with little thought to consequences.
What marks us humans out from animals is a part of the brain called the neo-cortex. If we don't use this as a guide to our decision making processes at least some of the time then we are not using what nature has given us - we are not meant to be purely impulse driven creatures.
Developing the ability to delay gratification enables you to mature as a human being and lead a more productive and happier life.
So impulse control is really about self mastery. If you are always at the beck and call of emotionally charged impulses then you are like a ship in a storm with no one at the helm.
*************************************
hypnosis downloads.com
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Great thread, Dolly.
For me, my impulses often come as a "reaction" to something else that is going on in my life. Sometimes that can be good and a protective mode for me but more often it's better if I take pause, think about what is triggering my impulse and then take time to "act" with thought and reason.
I'm a redhead, we are the world's greatest "reactors". Pausing does not come easy to me, and that's all the more reason I need to practice, practice, practice.
Hugs
For me, my impulses often come as a "reaction" to something else that is going on in my life. Sometimes that can be good and a protective mode for me but more often it's better if I take pause, think about what is triggering my impulse and then take time to "act" with thought and reason.
I'm a redhead, we are the world's greatest "reactors". Pausing does not come easy to me, and that's all the more reason I need to practice, practice, practice.
Hugs
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Dolly,
Thanks for the "wake up" call.
I was wondering what the heck was the matter with me lately. lol
Food for thought.
As Ann said, practice. Practice, practice.
Thanks and hugs,
Linda
Thanks for the "wake up" call.
I was wondering what the heck was the matter with me lately. lol
Food for thought.
As Ann said, practice. Practice, practice.
Thanks and hugs,
Linda
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
I've learned that when I have an impulse (not often, I have a tendency to analyze everything) to just wait before I take action. I wait, watch, and see what is really going on. Things aren't always what they seem at first.
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
FWIW I had a nephew who was in a bad accident with a tractor and the frontal lobes were damaged (he nearly died.. he was in a coma for over 30 days). When he recovered and came home, this resulted in all sorts of trouble for him and his family. He could instantly become addicted to anything... from TV to a movie to cigarettes.... He could go through money like no one I have ever seen. He got a girl friend but she tossed him out because he would have the grocey money in hand.. the ONLY money they had for food.. and a list.. and as he walked by an Electronics store he would go in and buy a "toy" with the grocery money. Later, when he was hungry he would get angry.. or if he could not have some specific food he wanted he would become angry. He is locked in being 12 years old (when he had the accident) forever when it comes to impulses!
One gift my X Husband gave me was he taught me to be a good negotiator. He taught me to leave my emotions 'at the door' if I was to argue with someone about something.. anything... Part of what I also had to leave at the door were impulsive reactions. I have used this skill a lot since I learned it and it was one of the most valuable tools I have. I have used this tool since his death and often thought everyone comes in your olife for a reason and this tool was one of the reasons he was in my life!
I have acted impulsively and it has cost me. Fortunately, so far, I have managed to twist in the air and land on my feet (sometimes that would be better described as twisting in the air and sort of landing on my feet.. not entirely upright and w/o grace, but at least on 'em!).
I am way much better at controlling my impulses today than I was in my past... and in some areas I may be even a little too good at controlling them!
Thank you for this post Dolly. It has provoked thought in my poor old brain!
One gift my X Husband gave me was he taught me to be a good negotiator. He taught me to leave my emotions 'at the door' if I was to argue with someone about something.. anything... Part of what I also had to leave at the door were impulsive reactions. I have used this skill a lot since I learned it and it was one of the most valuable tools I have. I have used this tool since his death and often thought everyone comes in your olife for a reason and this tool was one of the reasons he was in my life!
I have acted impulsively and it has cost me. Fortunately, so far, I have managed to twist in the air and land on my feet (sometimes that would be better described as twisting in the air and sort of landing on my feet.. not entirely upright and w/o grace, but at least on 'em!).
I am way much better at controlling my impulses today than I was in my past... and in some areas I may be even a little too good at controlling them!
Thank you for this post Dolly. It has provoked thought in my poor old brain!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by Elana 
It has provoked thought in my poor old brain!
I'm fighting it, fighting...Your brain is neither poor nor old, Elana. You are just still learning, and doing a great job of it too!
Thanks for a great post, Dolly
Hugs to all impulse-controllers everywhere...
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Great Post - Controlling those impulses and processing what is really going on underneath the surface - getting to the root of the issue - feeling my true emotion - helps me know ME better.
And then I can do something healthy for me, instead of reacting on my impulses.
Thanks for sharing this!!
And then I can do something healthy for me, instead of reacting on my impulses.
Thanks for sharing this!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
A great post. Something I never thought about. Impulse Hmm. First reaction to an action. Hmmm. Might be the answer. I do so well in recovery-so determined-and poof back to square one-I see him or talk to him-he quacks-I come unglued. Tiny rural town-I see him in my truck-sure enough impulse kicks in and my mind goes wild. Maybe get the fry'in pan out and whack myself in the head?
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
GL.. today I have my head so full from work, home etc. the brain is on overload. I think of my brain like that really great old cat or dog.. some wisdom on board (I hope) and able to sit back and watch the rest of the world do its thing!
so, now, Whack it good and hard with the fry pan so I am out cold and get a little REST! Maybe MRB sand I could take turns whacking each other?
I am glad my brain is old.. it is also experienced and less likely to act on impulse!!!
so, now, Whack it good and hard with the fry pan so I am out cold and get a little REST! Maybe MRB sand I could take turns whacking each other?
I am glad my brain is old.. it is also experienced and less likely to act on impulse!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
No, no whacking you guys (oops, hm, that sounds a little rude)
On a strange impulse-related tangent: I was always a person without self-discipline. I spent most of my 20s and 30s in misery because of my childhood and all the bad it had given me. As far as I was concerned, I had a RIGHT to just follow my impulses, because I had put up with so much in life. Controlling impulses was something other, normal people could deal with, thanks. I was entitled to my compulsions, dammit.
Learning, bit by bit, to control my damaging impulses was one of the smartest things I ever taught myself. Self-discipline has allowed me to get out of addictive relationships, start a successful small business, keep a marriage going, raise great dogs and cats who trust me, turn around family relationships that were hopelessly damaged, lose a bunch of weight, and generally just get happier with my life. Much better than the few seconds of self-satisfaction I used to get from letting my emotions run away with me...followed by the days of self-loathing trying to recover from it......
Ain't easy, but it's worth it.
On a strange impulse-related tangent: I was always a person without self-discipline. I spent most of my 20s and 30s in misery because of my childhood and all the bad it had given me. As far as I was concerned, I had a RIGHT to just follow my impulses, because I had put up with so much in life. Controlling impulses was something other, normal people could deal with, thanks. I was entitled to my compulsions, dammit.
Learning, bit by bit, to control my damaging impulses was one of the smartest things I ever taught myself. Self-discipline has allowed me to get out of addictive relationships, start a successful small business, keep a marriage going, raise great dogs and cats who trust me, turn around family relationships that were hopelessly damaged, lose a bunch of weight, and generally just get happier with my life. Much better than the few seconds of self-satisfaction I used to get from letting my emotions run away with me...followed by the days of self-loathing trying to recover from it......
Ain't easy, but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
E. I will whack with you-you get the cast iron skillet & I get the foam. Maybe one day I will earn the cast iron one. Such a wise person your are.
Had just hit the post button. Doorbell rang. A red car-from AH 2002. First impulse was-throw her off the porch or start screaming. Thought about this post. Listening to the young (20s) sob story about that the tenants were moving into where she used to live and she just hated them both(haha)Quack, quack,quack!!!!!Told her I had it rented-leave her name & # and I would call her if things did not work out. Pretty good huh?
Another step forward, I think?
Yep-my brain is old, Uncle/Godfather passed a few yrs. ago-but always told me he had me first on the list for a transplant. Now to super glue the remains of my soul.
Had just hit the post button. Doorbell rang. A red car-from AH 2002. First impulse was-throw her off the porch or start screaming. Thought about this post. Listening to the young (20s) sob story about that the tenants were moving into where she used to live and she just hated them both(haha)Quack, quack,quack!!!!!Told her I had it rented-leave her name & # and I would call her if things did not work out. Pretty good huh?
Another step forward, I think?
Yep-my brain is old, Uncle/Godfather passed a few yrs. ago-but always told me he had me first on the list for a transplant. Now to super glue the remains of my soul.
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