Until we meet again
Or However You Spell It....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
Until we meet again
My grandfather always told me not to ever say good bye unless it meant forever and I'm not sure if that's where I'm headed yet.
This place has been my rock since I arrived in 2005. Never waivering, SR and it's beautiful members here............MANY I now call my friends have always been there to help pick me back up, dust me off and put me back on my feet again. I feel like a cat with nine lives sometimes lol.
When I first arrived I was so alone and so afraid. In and instant my world had been turned upside down by my now ex-fiance and his cocaine addiction. Not only his, but every friend I thought I had were addicted to the stuff. I lost everyone I loved in one fatal swoop and I was devistated.
Since that time I've made some of the best friends a girl could ever hope for. No need to name names as you know who you are. I love you with all my heart and cherish every second of the time we've spent together whether it was here or on the phone. I have ways of getting a hold of you so watch out! LOL You all hold such a special place in my heart and I cherish each one of you for who you are and the gift of self that you've given me. This group is the most un-selfish, loving bunch I've ever been blessed enough to meet.
I've got so much going on in my life right now and so much has happend over this last month. I got really sick and am still trying to find out exactly what's wrong and what's happening to me. I lost my father in a car accident. I've taken on a second job. I'm dealing with some personal issues that there's really no answer to at the moment. I jokingly told a friend the other day; "I'm just leaving this all in God's hands. I just wish he'd hurry up and make up my mind before I lose it again."
I'm trying to find a balance, but my codie tendancies seem to be working in overdrive and all that I've learned in recovery seems to elude me when it comes to everyday life.
I thought once my ex was out of my life all my problems would be solved. Actually I think I did better with him here. I was focused, and I knew what I needed to do to save myself. I thought my co-dependency was all about him.....that he was the root to my problem.
Oh boy was I wrong! I'm just as bad if not worse now. It shows big time when it comes to dealing with my children.
I have a genuine respect for all you parents here. In my eyes you are truly the hero's here. How you do what you do without going grey , wrinkled or bald headed I haven't a clue. Your serenity in everyday life and your ability to handle the curve balls you get thrown at you amazes me.
It's quite possible I need this forum now more than ever but my co-dependent issues stretch way beyond addiction so I sort of don't know where I belong at this point.
I haven't had much to offer lately. My "ESH" seems to have temporarily left me. I read posts and just sit there......fingers on the keyboard....staring at the screen.....thinking really hard........it's at the tip of my tounge......then NOTHING! It's very frustrating because I know I have a lot to offer, but I've just drawn a blank.
I just have way too much on my mind right now. I'm losing focus. I feel guilty in a way.....like I'm abandoning ship or something. That's honestly not my intentions.
There are many times I'll read a post and that person will be on my mind for days at a time. I can't help it. I have a difficult time just leaving things here and continue about my day.
With everything I've got going on I can't afford to take anymore focus off myself. I know how selfish that sounds, but the one thing that has sunk into my head is sometimes we have to be selfish and work on ourselves or we won't be any good to anyone else. I think that's the point I'm at.
I don't know how long this time away will last. I've really just have to get my head in place and focus on a few personal issues i've got going on.
To anyone new who may be reading this. Give this place a shot before knocking the forum and it's members down. I've looked around and you'll NEVER find a more honest, caring, loving bunch of people anywhere else. Everything is said with love and it's no one's intentions to judge you or the life you live. They're here to help, listen, and give advice if you ask for it.
You may not always hear what you want. I know I didnt' when I first got here. I was taken back by some of what I thought were brutal comments. But as time went by and I stuck around, I began to appreciate the words that were coming from those who have been there before me. They were sharing their experiences.
When you open yourself and your situation to a forum, you are going to get mixed responses and opinions. We should be open to all........take what we want and leave the rest.
The most beautiful thing about this forum, and I think I speak for most, is we go with the belief that as long as the addicts in our lives are still breathing, there is hope. There's always hope.
I love you all and all that you give daily. Wish me luck. It's a big world out there and I've found such comfort here. Hopefully when I come back, I'll have put myself and my life back together and will be better than new.
You all will remain in my thoughts and prayers daily.
This place has been my rock since I arrived in 2005. Never waivering, SR and it's beautiful members here............MANY I now call my friends have always been there to help pick me back up, dust me off and put me back on my feet again. I feel like a cat with nine lives sometimes lol.
When I first arrived I was so alone and so afraid. In and instant my world had been turned upside down by my now ex-fiance and his cocaine addiction. Not only his, but every friend I thought I had were addicted to the stuff. I lost everyone I loved in one fatal swoop and I was devistated.
Since that time I've made some of the best friends a girl could ever hope for. No need to name names as you know who you are. I love you with all my heart and cherish every second of the time we've spent together whether it was here or on the phone. I have ways of getting a hold of you so watch out! LOL You all hold such a special place in my heart and I cherish each one of you for who you are and the gift of self that you've given me. This group is the most un-selfish, loving bunch I've ever been blessed enough to meet.
I've got so much going on in my life right now and so much has happend over this last month. I got really sick and am still trying to find out exactly what's wrong and what's happening to me. I lost my father in a car accident. I've taken on a second job. I'm dealing with some personal issues that there's really no answer to at the moment. I jokingly told a friend the other day; "I'm just leaving this all in God's hands. I just wish he'd hurry up and make up my mind before I lose it again."
I'm trying to find a balance, but my codie tendancies seem to be working in overdrive and all that I've learned in recovery seems to elude me when it comes to everyday life.
I thought once my ex was out of my life all my problems would be solved. Actually I think I did better with him here. I was focused, and I knew what I needed to do to save myself. I thought my co-dependency was all about him.....that he was the root to my problem.
Oh boy was I wrong! I'm just as bad if not worse now. It shows big time when it comes to dealing with my children.
I have a genuine respect for all you parents here. In my eyes you are truly the hero's here. How you do what you do without going grey , wrinkled or bald headed I haven't a clue. Your serenity in everyday life and your ability to handle the curve balls you get thrown at you amazes me.
It's quite possible I need this forum now more than ever but my co-dependent issues stretch way beyond addiction so I sort of don't know where I belong at this point.
I haven't had much to offer lately. My "ESH" seems to have temporarily left me. I read posts and just sit there......fingers on the keyboard....staring at the screen.....thinking really hard........it's at the tip of my tounge......then NOTHING! It's very frustrating because I know I have a lot to offer, but I've just drawn a blank.
I just have way too much on my mind right now. I'm losing focus. I feel guilty in a way.....like I'm abandoning ship or something. That's honestly not my intentions.
There are many times I'll read a post and that person will be on my mind for days at a time. I can't help it. I have a difficult time just leaving things here and continue about my day.
With everything I've got going on I can't afford to take anymore focus off myself. I know how selfish that sounds, but the one thing that has sunk into my head is sometimes we have to be selfish and work on ourselves or we won't be any good to anyone else. I think that's the point I'm at.
I don't know how long this time away will last. I've really just have to get my head in place and focus on a few personal issues i've got going on.
To anyone new who may be reading this. Give this place a shot before knocking the forum and it's members down. I've looked around and you'll NEVER find a more honest, caring, loving bunch of people anywhere else. Everything is said with love and it's no one's intentions to judge you or the life you live. They're here to help, listen, and give advice if you ask for it.
You may not always hear what you want. I know I didnt' when I first got here. I was taken back by some of what I thought were brutal comments. But as time went by and I stuck around, I began to appreciate the words that were coming from those who have been there before me. They were sharing their experiences.
When you open yourself and your situation to a forum, you are going to get mixed responses and opinions. We should be open to all........take what we want and leave the rest.
The most beautiful thing about this forum, and I think I speak for most, is we go with the belief that as long as the addicts in our lives are still breathing, there is hope. There's always hope.
I love you all and all that you give daily. Wish me luck. It's a big world out there and I've found such comfort here. Hopefully when I come back, I'll have put myself and my life back together and will be better than new.
You all will remain in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Lovestoomuch 
It's quite possible I need this forum now more than ever but my co-dependent issues stretch way beyond addiction so I sort of don't know where I belong at this point.
There are times we need walk down a path to see where it goes. A quick right hand turn brings you to SR if you feel the need.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 2,859
I hope everything works out for you and you truly find the happiness that your looking for!!! Remember we are here if you need us thats what friends do for each other. I'm honored that I can call you friend cause your an amazing person with a huge heart!!! Hard to find friends like that now a days!! Check in and let us know how your doing. Take care of yourself and listen to your body when it tells you to relax!!! Well wishes going your way!! Kim
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
((((kris)))) You've given me so much inspiration, and so many badly needed laughs and smiles. Best of luck wherever life takes you, and I hope you'll come back here if the desire strikes you. You'll be sorely missed on these boards.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Kris, I wish you luck my friend. Continue to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You are a great lady and I am sure that God has something special for you. Just hang in there and you will be missed. Hugs and prayers, Marle
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
((((Kris))))
I am so sorry you are leaving, you have given my strength your love and many, many laughs. Please come back and visit, we will keep a chair waiting for you.
I will miss you my friend
tears rolling down my face.
Stay strong and stay in touch. I hope you still have my number if not let me know and I'll give it to you again.
Take care, and know you will be in my prayers everyday for you to find the road you need to be on.
Love you
I am so sorry you are leaving, you have given my strength your love and many, many laughs. Please come back and visit, we will keep a chair waiting for you.
I will miss you my friend
tears rolling down my face. Stay strong and stay in touch. I hope you still have my number if not let me know and I'll give it to you again.
Take care, and know you will be in my prayers everyday for you to find the road you need to be on.
Love you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
Oh honey. . .good luck, wonderful thoughts and loads of prayers going out to you. You have helped me SO much!!!! I just love you, your sense of humor, your take on life, your way with words. . .I will miss you. As Kim said. . .do try to keep in touch just to let us know you are doing alright. BIG HUGS!!!!!
Connie
Connie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 234
((Kris))
You know what is best for yourself. Taking the time to focus on you and take care of yourself isn't one bit selfish; sometimes it's completely neccessary.
I hope that you find all that you've dreamed of and more in life. You will be missed on the forums. I hope that you pop back in from time to time and let us all know how you are. Take care of yourself. (((hugehugs)))
You know what is best for yourself. Taking the time to focus on you and take care of yourself isn't one bit selfish; sometimes it's completely neccessary.
I hope that you find all that you've dreamed of and more in life. You will be missed on the forums. I hope that you pop back in from time to time and let us all know how you are. Take care of yourself. (((hugehugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: BIRMINGHAM, AL
Posts: 872
Kris, you know I love you. You have madee me laugh and you have made me cry. Cry for you I mean. You know what I am saying. You have been here for me from day 1. You are a wonderful person. Beautiful inside and out. I want to say no, dont go, but I know you have to take care of you. Please dont be a stranger and try to come back to us, even if just to say hi. I will miss you dearly and think of you every day. I already do, but.... I love you Kris, a wonderful friend.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Kris. I know I have found the things I work on for me no longer have a thing to do with addiction. I am grateful that I have so many tools from here and meetings to help
You are not being selfish. You are being self loving. That is great. Wishing you happiness love and peace. Selfishly I hope your time away will be brief. I will miss you. Hugs
You are not being selfish. You are being self loving. That is great. Wishing you happiness love and peace. Selfishly I hope your time away will be brief. I will miss you. Hugs
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
You certainly helped me more than I can ever say. I am so glad I found YOU and that YOU helped me.
You always have a friend here in NY if you need one and you have my info if you ever need a friend.
You are taking care of you and sometimes that means a step back and a deep breath. It sounds like you are doing that.. or trying to.. or however you spell it!!!!
Don't forget to stop once in awhile and watch the Dragonflies.....
You always have a friend here in NY if you need one and you have my info if you ever need a friend.
You are taking care of you and sometimes that means a step back and a deep breath. It sounds like you are doing that.. or trying to.. or however you spell it!!!!
Don't forget to stop once in awhile and watch the Dragonflies.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 158
I understand the need to step away. I've had to take breaks (of course nobody knows when I'm gone, lol). In my case, I stepped away because I found myself spending all my time "seeking" recovery instead of actually "doing" recovery. No, you are NOT being selfish. You have given so much to so many through your words of comfort, support and advice. I'm glad you are doing whatever you need to do to help YOU now. Hope to see you back again someday. I'll miss you.
Love and Hugs,
Mertzie
Love and Hugs,
Mertzie
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I have a genuine respect for all you parents here. In my eyes you are truly the hero's here. How you do what you do without going grey , wrinkled or bald headed
I wish you the best, Kris - in everything you do. You will be missed... and I hope you get back again to say hello...soon.
(((hugs)))
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
((((Kris))))
Knowing you need to step away and take care of yourself IS recovery.
We'll sure miss you...but I look forward to hearing from a refreshed and healthy Loves.
And you know you're never far from our hearts.
BTW...I AM gray and wrinkled lol
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Knowing you need to step away and take care of yourself IS recovery.
We'll sure miss you...but I look forward to hearing from a refreshed and healthy Loves.
And you know you're never far from our hearts.
BTW...I AM gray and wrinkled lol
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
And sometimes God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves - maybe your God is showing us thru you that self-care is a very important part of OUR recovery.
Again you are a shinning example of recovery. Letting us know that it is ok to do what is best of ourselves.
My friend, you have experienced some really tough stuff lately - take the time you need to take care of yourself. Give yourself that TLC that you need and always know that your SR friends are thinking of you & praying for you.
((loves))
Please never forget-
No matter what you & your HP are going to be ok - even better than OK.
Rita
Again you are a shinning example of recovery. Letting us know that it is ok to do what is best of ourselves.
My friend, you have experienced some really tough stuff lately - take the time you need to take care of yourself. Give yourself that TLC that you need and always know that your SR friends are thinking of you & praying for you.
((loves))
Please never forget-
No matter what you & your HP are going to be ok - even better than OK.
Rita
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
I will miss you very much! Take GOOD care of yourself-you are worth it! Your kind words of wisdom were some of the first to welcome me here and I am forever thankful to have found this place and folks like you!
I don't get on here much anymore, either. I have found, like you, that issues that I thought would go away when I finally got away from my exah, didn't go away at all. My focus just changed.
For me, at this point, it has become all about finding out how in the world I got in such a mess-and the answers seem to lie with my family of origin. Books that are helping me-'Toxic Parents' by Susan Forward and 'Bradshaw on the Family' by John Bradshaw. It's really hard to look back at the 'sacred cow' that I called my family and realize that therein lies most of my disease and the reason for most of my poor life decisions.
Anyway, I wish you happiness and peace, my friend. I am honored to call you that!
Love always from the Tennessee mountains,
I don't get on here much anymore, either. I have found, like you, that issues that I thought would go away when I finally got away from my exah, didn't go away at all. My focus just changed.
For me, at this point, it has become all about finding out how in the world I got in such a mess-and the answers seem to lie with my family of origin. Books that are helping me-'Toxic Parents' by Susan Forward and 'Bradshaw on the Family' by John Bradshaw. It's really hard to look back at the 'sacred cow' that I called my family and realize that therein lies most of my disease and the reason for most of my poor life decisions.
Anyway, I wish you happiness and peace, my friend. I am honored to call you that!
Love always from the Tennessee mountains,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Central Valley
Posts: 51
Kris,
Just a note to say thank you for all the caring advice you have given...you helped me so much when I needed it so badly! I am wishing for you that all your problems get resolved and you reach all that happiness you so richly deserve...may God be with you and keep plenty of Diet Coke handy!!
Love & Big Hugs,
Susie
Just a note to say thank you for all the caring advice you have given...you helped me so much when I needed it so badly! I am wishing for you that all your problems get resolved and you reach all that happiness you so richly deserve...may God be with you and keep plenty of Diet Coke handy!!
Love & Big Hugs,
Susie
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