i need a meeting!
 

i blew it last night. i lost my patience and said mean things to my daughter and husband. i got all important, you know? and i hurt the people that i care the most about. including myself. i made threats and demands. i caused more problems on top of the ones we already have right now. i just lost it.

i have a bad case of the guilts today.

not a good couple of days in recovery...

k

((k)) it's ok. Be gentle with yourself. Part of recovery is learning how to make amends for those we harm. It's progress, not perfection and we all lose it sometimes. It's very easy to fall back into old behavior and it doesn not mean we fail at recovery.

You are doing great by recognizing that a meeting will help you work through this. If you have a sponsor, why not talk to her about how you can make amends, when and if you are ready.

Hugs!

I'm sorry K.
We all stumble at times...we're human.
I hate the guilts...but I do have to admit that some of my better decisions - often decisions to make changes - have evolved from my mistakes and the guilt that followed.
Hope you find that meeting, and go easy on yourself today.
(((Hugs)))
Cece

K.......................progress not perfection. Yes, of course, it would have been better (maybe) to sit quietly and 'discuss', however, we sometimes reach a point where we just have to BLOW UP.

Please do not feel guilty, YOU ARE HUMAN not a robot. Take some deep breaths and get on with today. Tonight if you choose you can apologize or not to hubby and/or daughter. Maybe, just maybe, your blow up got through to both of them and they are doing some analyzing and thinking today.

Remember, figure out exactly what your boundaries are, state those boundaries and stick to them, even if it causes a rift for a bit between you and hubby, he WILL get the picture.

I hope your hubby is attending or decides to attend alanon meetings. He will come to understand that he is prolonging the outcome. Maybe the best thing for both of you right now is.......................to close the door on her as my folks did on me. I was 33 1/2 yrs old and they told me in no uncertain terms that if I called they would hang up the phone (and they did) and that if I came to the door it would be shut in my face (it was). It took me another 2 1/2 yrs (the last 1 1/2 yrs living on the streets) to find recovery.

I can truly say that if they had continued to enable me I would probably have died. Instead I have had a great life in recovery.

I truly hope that doesn't happen to your daughter, but she has proven time and time again so far she is just NOT READY. All the 'rehabs' and 'sober living houses' in the world will not help her until she WANTS sobriety more than she wants to drink.

K, as a mom I know you love your daughter very much, however, you and hubby are not helping her by letting her come back home repeatedly. She has to take responsibility for her actions, the thefts, the lying, etc. Put her out, she will either end up at a friends (if she has any left) or a shelter. The shelter would be a rude awakening for her but possibly a very effective one.

Do not feel guilty. We all reach the end of our rope at some point. Keep posting, you know it helps. PM me if you need to.

Love and hugs,

k, I think that Laurie said it all, so I will just send some hugs your way. We are not super humans, we are imperfect ones. Be gentle with yourself. Hugs, Marle

(((k))) Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Restless, Irritable, Discontent. Seems like every day one of these symptoms gives me that nudge to get to a meeting and work on my recovery.

i'm trying to pick myself and dust off. i've apoligized to my daughter and my husband. now, it's time to follow up with action.

thanks for listening. k

I think we blow sometimes because we are doing everything in the "program" and others aren't. You are human too, your feelings matter. I understand about hurting those you love most out of frustration. It's so hard on everyone!
blessings,
susan

More hugs for K!

((((K)))))

((((((parentrecovers)))))))))) dont beat yourself up so bad.
Praying for you in Texas....
Lou Ann

sending hugs your way, still praying for all of you too

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is step 10 "to continue to take personal inventory and when I am wrong promptly admit it" Following this guideline has really helped me return quickly to a loving place with my family members.
Also, I am coming to understand that I have no right to expect that my solutions will solve other people's problems. Hope today is better.

((k))

sometimes those feelings have to come out - sometimes we can do in a healthier way, sometimes we do it in a not so healthy way.

Like others have said Progress not Perfection.

No matter how much you continue to beat yourself up you can undo it - ask your HP to help heal you of the guilt - let it go and work on what you can do to help yourself deal with things in a more recovery fashion.

Like the old saying goes - Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here yet - so all you have is the present - that is a gift - open it and see what your HP has in store for you.

Praying that you are able to have a day filled with Serenity & Joy,
Rita

((((((Parent)))))))
Sometimes it is all we can take and we have to let go. I'm sure your husband and daughter have done it many times. They should understand your grief and your apologies and I am sure that they do.

Hoping you are feeling a little better.

Mom hugs................Lo

we all have our times that we do let go & sometimes that is what it takes to get us back on track. do not be to hard on yourself.go to your meeting & let it go.hugs & prayers, hope