ladyamalthea

Your other friend could very well be right... he might have assumed you weren't coming. My advice? If he's not going to get the letter until Monday at the earliest, wait and see how you feel Monday morning. Take today and try to focus on you. After all, that is what your recovery needs to be about- learning to put yourself first, and everything else on the backburner. Then, if Monday morning you wake up and regret sending him that letter, you can always call him and tell him to disregard it, explain that you were upset when you wrote it and that you don't want him to stop writing you. On the other hand, if you wake up Monday and still feel upset with him over this whole thing, then there's your answer. As long as you are doing what you need to do to take care of you, there is no right or wrong answer here.

As far as his parents go, do they have much experience with addiction? If not, their actions are probably not going to make any more sense than his are... they are probably struggling with codependency just like you are and are doing everything they know to do to protect their son. That doesn't make it right... and believe me, not everything us codies do is right... but just remember that they are probably sick right now too, and they may not yet be at the point of trying to recover. I could sit here all day and give you examples of stupid things I did trying to help my sister, not to mention stupid things my parents did (my mom even went so far as to call a restaurant back one night after she and sis argued there and explained to the waitress, who I'm sure wanted everyone's life story, that sis has a heroin problem and that the evil people at the table behind us needed to mind their own business, and she, the server, needed to drop everything she was doing and tell them to buzz off). I'm sure others here have plenty of stories of similarly dramatic or senseless behavior; my point is that this is yet another symptom of our illness and that it doesn't make us bad people; it just means that we have things we need to work on.

Being confused is okay. In fact, it is pretty normal. Sometimes, the best way to behave while in active recovery is to not act at all, but to sit back and watch (or don't watch, whichever is easier). That way, when things finally do begin to make more sense, we still have more options.

*hugs and prayers*