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The value of forgiveness

Old 08-06-2007, 08:19 AM
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The value of forgiveness

Forgiveness can indeed be difficult. Yet in the long run, it
is far easier to forgive than to live with resentment or
continuing retribution.

Through forgiveness, you can move away from the pains of the
past. With forgiveness, you can achieve real freedom.

There are always opportunities to benefit from the value of
forgiveness. You can forgive yourself, you can forgive
others, and you can forgive even when you don't know exactly
who to forgive.

Because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is
at fault. Forgiveness is mostly about letting go, completely
and permanently, within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has
happened has happened, and that there's no point in allowing
it to dominate your life. Forgiveness refreshingly clears
the slate and enables you to move positively forward.

Carrying around a load of resentment can be an enormous and
unnecessary burden. Forgive early and often, and you'll
considerably lighten your load.

Ralph Marston
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:20 AM
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thanks so much for sharing this! blessings, k
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:30 AM
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Yes, thanks so much... I needed that...
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:35 AM
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So often, I've WANTED to forgive, and even thought I did... then found myself angry and resentful at the next "thing" that popped up.

What helps me is to remember that before I can forgive, I really, really need to process through the hurt feelings. To remember exactly what happened and how it made me feel... and then remember how I reacted. What I did. What was my part in it.

Often, I've discovered that my reaction was very similar to the very thing that hurt me. And that I may have some amends to make... or maybe not.

But it takes (for me), that 4th step process to really get to a place of true forgiveness and letting go of the hurt and anger and pain that keeps me circling the drain, instead of moving forward.

Thank you for this thought provoking post.

((hugs))
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:48 AM
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For a long time I did not think that I could ever forgive my daughter. But I have and I know it is possible and I know that I feel so much better not carrying that burden anymore. But like BigSis said, I had to work through all my feelings to get there and still have to watch myself. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:14 AM
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Just, I really needed to hear that today. I am carrying so much hate and resentment toward my exh. I recently decided to call him my ex since I don't want to be married to him anymore and I can't divorce him from the grave. I have divorced him in my mind. Right now I can't forgive him........it's all too fresh. I know I have a long process ahead of myself before that can happen. What you post makes a lot of sense to me. Foirgiveness will set me free not him. I have forgiven my daughter for her drug use and all she has put me through. The only way I can love her is to forgive her. I have never stopped loving her. She has done a lot of wrong things and what I have hated was her behavior......not her. I have always been able to separate the two.
My daughter told me she has forgiven him. Right now I can't.

Thank you for this post....................Lo
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:18 AM
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forgive yourself

And most importantly...don't forget to forgive yourself. One of the characteristics of co-dependents is that we blame ourselves so often for the things happening to us...feel we deserve no better treatment than this. We do deserve better...
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