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Proving he's an addict when divorcing

Old 08-05-2007, 03:39 PM
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Proving he's an addict when divorcing

So, I've been thinking about divorcing my AH. I have a 17 mo old son and assuming he tries to fight me, becasue in his rages he says he'll fight me for custody, how do I prove my accusations of drug addiction. He went away to rehab (inpatient) for 1 week. He was in an outpatient prog. Isn't this confidential? His friends are all addicts or dealers. I never had him arrested. No restraining order. No proof really so how would a judge just allow me to set regulations to visitation.

He has a job still and makes more $$ than me. He is able to stay clean a few days at a time and cok only stayings in your system for 24 hours.

I have a good job, don't do drugs, don't drink. I can afford to take care of me and my son. Lots of people can attest to the fact that he has been using throughout our marriage. I just recently got diagnosed with MS and need to start treatment, although this is not a death sentence. Any thoughts on how to ease my mind. Is it possible that he could win custody if he really wanted to fight me? What should I do to make sure I have proof?
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Old 08-05-2007, 04:12 PM
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honey, i would think being in rehab is proof enough. it is really hard for fathers to get their children. i can not see the judge turning a young child over to an addict.it is a known fact,children need their moms. i do not think u have a thing to worry about.sending hugs & saying a prayer,
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:26 PM
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See a lawyer. He or she can assure you of your rights. Even just a consultation can sometimes put our hearts at ease.Sorry about your MS diagnosis. Good luck in your treatment.
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Old 08-05-2007, 09:53 PM
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If he was in rehab, and lots of people can attest to his using and are willing to say so in court, that is a lot of evidence. The burden of proof in these cases is not the same as in criminal court. The "beyond a reasonable doubt" burden does not exist.

Does his job drug test? If so how is he passing it?

You haven't had him arrested? Why the bleep not? You are only helping him with his problem, not to mention your divorce case.
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:00 AM
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Who paid for rehab? Do you have an insurance claim or canceled check? Seems that would be proof enough. Also, I agree with krhea.... time to see a professional. A short consultation with a lawyer will not break the bank - they are quite reasonable.
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Old 08-06-2007, 10:56 AM
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just want to chime in to send hugs and prayers.
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Old 08-06-2007, 11:11 AM
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alyssiav - i'm glad you are seeking medical treatment for your ms.

hugs and prayers, k
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Old 08-06-2007, 11:32 AM
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In my state my lawyer can get the treatment records if necessary for court. Not sure if it is in yours.
Also, I agree that it is time to talk to a lawyer. I called around and went to every 'free consultation' that I could so I could have a sense of what multiple lawyers thought of my situation before I chose one. When I found one that jumped out at me as the 'perfect fit' for me, I stayed there. I feel by hearing all the perceptions made it so I have a better sense of what his lawyer might think of the situation if he were ever to hire one. I learned later too that he cannot use any that I talked to.
What all of them told me is that although my journal isn't 'legal' it would be extremely helpful if this ever gets to be fight (at this point it isn't, but getting close). So I suggest you journal, journal, journal!!!! The other benefit to journaling is if something were to ever happen to you (car accident or whatever) others can protect your son better if they have information. I wrote down everything that I thought would be helpful for my sister-in-law to fight for custody of my children if something were to happen to me.
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