Mskattie

Today started out as a really yucky day, it was my exabf's birthday. I thought I was doing pretty good lately, it has been a little while since I last spoke with my ex and I thought the pain was getting a little easier to handle each day... But, today was tough. I was feeling depressed and obsessed thinking about him, what is he doing today? Is he spending today with his family? Does he even think of me and things we used to do for birthday etc.... I know I shouldn't have and am embarassed to admit it, but I even checked his phone logs to see if he is talking to somebody today (He knows I have an access to his phone logs since we used to share the phone). I guess I was secretly hoping he was having a lonely and miserble birthday, being another reminder for him he is getting older and wasting his life away. The logs don't show any numbers but it tells minutes used, and I found out he has been using up a lot of minutes today... I just hate myself to go this low to check up on him, what am I trying to convince of myself? What am I getting out of by doing this? I already know being obsessed like this makes me feel more depressed and desparate.

In the midst of my depressive and obsesisive day, I received a phone call that kind of changed my mood completely. It was from my best friend who is pregnant, she said she is going into a labor! A couple hours later, she had her baby, a baby boy! I am so happy for them! I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it made me realize that LIFE DOES GOES ON. Despite pain/hurt/anger/rage/depression I am going through, life goes on and sun rises every morning. I think there is hope for me to move on with my life as long as I try, taking one day at a time

hope213

((((mskattie))) life does go on & gets easier & easier. you had a miracle happen right when u needed it. your H.P. is looking after you & doing it one day at a time you will get through this. congrats on the new baby. prayers for you, your b.f. & the happy couple & baby.hugs,

teke

hi haven't met you yet, haven't been around much lately, i want to welcome you and to let you know that you are an incouragement to me. you are so right, life goes on. the addict in my life is my husband of 21 yrs and it has taken me all these yrs to realize this, so i think you are doing so well. i will keep you and yours in my prayers.