Please Urgent we need your prayers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Greet, So sorry that this has happened to Megan. Sending prayers that it will all work out and that both of you stay strong. You know she started dating him when she was in a vulnerable place in her life. Now she is stronger and wants something better for herself. I would say that he has his own set of issues to deal with. Maybe control being the number one. I will say a prayer for him too. When all the dust settles he will have to face what he has done. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
(((Greet))) (((Megan)))
I can not believe this is happening. It sounds like the good ole boys to me. Please get a lawyer, if she can't afford one they can get her one, might not be a real good one. If you can get the person who helped her move with you to go to court that would help. 3 against 1, and if she tells them she left everything they bought together for him, and even cleaned up before she left that might help. I would take a RO out on him since he is causing all the problems.
I am traveling today but will be praying for you both, hope things turn out right for her. At least you know the truth that she didn't do any of this BS
Hugs
I can not believe this is happening. It sounds like the good ole boys to me. Please get a lawyer, if she can't afford one they can get her one, might not be a real good one. If you can get the person who helped her move with you to go to court that would help. 3 against 1, and if she tells them she left everything they bought together for him, and even cleaned up before she left that might help. I would take a RO out on him since he is causing all the problems.
I am traveling today but will be praying for you both, hope things turn out right for her. At least you know the truth that she didn't do any of this BS
Hugs
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
All of your worrds are helping so much....truly. Frankly, what you said makes so much sense...I know you have been tested oftenin your recovery and admire your strength.
This si a case where I want to help her get a good attorney...fear one appointed by the state. I do believe at some point he is going to have to live with what he did.
This si a case where I want to help her get a good attorney...fear one appointed by the state. I do believe at some point he is going to have to live with what he did.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((Greet)))
Deep breaths...
First, I'm sorry. Yea, it's crazy. But, please understand something...
In the case of domestic violence...and if they lived together, that's what this would fall under...if there's evidence of a crime, there *must* be an arrest.
That does NOT mean that she's "guilty before being proved innocent."
The state still has the burden of proof.
Please know that these laws were passed for the benefit of women, who, for the most part, are the recipients of DV. The b/f here knows how to play the law. There was "evidence" of a crime with the disheveled house, so there had to be an arrest. But, there's NO evidence that she did anything.
The police have no requirement to take your statement. They are not the judge. Your words will be heard at trial, if it gets to that. That in itself is doubtful. But,it's possible.
No, she should not say a WORD without a lawyer. And in a case like this, since she can't afford one, I'd let the state provide one, rather than pay for one myself. That, of course, is your choice. But, there's no evidence she did anything; she's gonna walk. And she'll be out on bail today, if she's not already.
The main thing here is for all of you to keep your cool. The jack *ss is trying to get you all worked up. Don't give him the satisfaction! Trust in the system to work.
Trust in G*D.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both...
Shalom!
Deep breaths...
First, I'm sorry. Yea, it's crazy. But, please understand something...
In the case of domestic violence...and if they lived together, that's what this would fall under...if there's evidence of a crime, there *must* be an arrest.
That does NOT mean that she's "guilty before being proved innocent."
The state still has the burden of proof.
Please know that these laws were passed for the benefit of women, who, for the most part, are the recipients of DV. The b/f here knows how to play the law. There was "evidence" of a crime with the disheveled house, so there had to be an arrest. But, there's NO evidence that she did anything.
The police have no requirement to take your statement. They are not the judge. Your words will be heard at trial, if it gets to that. That in itself is doubtful. But,it's possible.
No, she should not say a WORD without a lawyer. And in a case like this, since she can't afford one, I'd let the state provide one, rather than pay for one myself. That, of course, is your choice. But, there's no evidence she did anything; she's gonna walk. And she'll be out on bail today, if she's not already.
The main thing here is for all of you to keep your cool. The jack *ss is trying to get you all worked up. Don't give him the satisfaction! Trust in the system to work.
Trust in G*D.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both...
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Greet...
Is he claiming that he was present during all of this and that she was physically threatening to him? Domestic violence doesn't cover the destruction of property. This is just insane!
Sending love, strength, prayers, and hugs...lots and lots of hugs...
Is he claiming that he was present during all of this and that she was physically threatening to him? Domestic violence doesn't cover the destruction of property. This is just insane!
Sending love, strength, prayers, and hugs...lots and lots of hugs...
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
OMG! And most women can't get an abusive (and I mean "abusive", punching, hitting) spouse arrested without usually getting very hurt first! The legal system certainly sounds broke to me. I don't get it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am sorry this has happen to megan & you. you are strong in your recovery & you are there for megan. i do not understand how this happen.how they could talk to her & not know she is innocent.i do not understand the system. when she is proven innocent i would get a warrant out for him for lying & false accusations.(?) why do people do things like this just because they can not have there way. i am glad she is getting away from this man. your H.P. has this under control. try to relax, it is going to be ok. i know you both are hurting & probley by now you are mad as a hornet. my prayers for you both.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
(((Greet))) GET A LAWYER ASAP. Then, when your daughter has been proven innocent (many people saw her that day with you, correct?), turn around and sue the ******* for civil charges. Sue him for the lawyer's fees and court costs, plus emotional suffering. I'll bet he changes his tune real fast.
I am a vindictive person when it comes to things costing me $$ when I did nothing to incur the expense.
I am a vindictive person when it comes to things costing me $$ when I did nothing to incur the expense.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
Greet,
I'm no expert, but if it helps at all, I have a friend who is a cop who says that they have to respond to any complaint, and they have to act oftentimes on very little evidence. He says that once there is evidence of something like that, they have to assume it to be accurate, whether it is or not, that they are not there to decide who is right, just how to handle it for that moment. It's still crazy and stupid that they arrested her, but maybe that helps to understand them a little?
I agree with Ann, I would hire a lawyer ASAP... don't leave this to the government... they will slip up somehow. Get a lawyer, and I would get the lawyer to send her ex a letter stating that if he does not drop the charges immediately, you and your daughter plan to sue him for false arrest, mental anguish, and anything else you can think of. Make the list look long and evil, but make sure it comes from the lawyer, so that he cannot use it as evidence of harrassment. You just might be able to scare him out of going through with this... but then again, I'm not an expert.
I hope everything gets cleared up soon...
*hugs and prayers*
I'm no expert, but if it helps at all, I have a friend who is a cop who says that they have to respond to any complaint, and they have to act oftentimes on very little evidence. He says that once there is evidence of something like that, they have to assume it to be accurate, whether it is or not, that they are not there to decide who is right, just how to handle it for that moment. It's still crazy and stupid that they arrested her, but maybe that helps to understand them a little?
I agree with Ann, I would hire a lawyer ASAP... don't leave this to the government... they will slip up somehow. Get a lawyer, and I would get the lawyer to send her ex a letter stating that if he does not drop the charges immediately, you and your daughter plan to sue him for false arrest, mental anguish, and anything else you can think of. Make the list look long and evil, but make sure it comes from the lawyer, so that he cannot use it as evidence of harrassment. You just might be able to scare him out of going through with this... but then again, I'm not an expert.
I hope everything gets cleared up soon...
*hugs and prayers*
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Greet,
I am sorry to say this but I am not the least surprised. There is an xjerk, controlling and wily who did the same kind of things to me. I have been jailed twice and have 2 batteries on my record when it was all self defense.
The HUGE difference in your case is that you have witnesses.
I, myself would not spend a dime of my own. I would take the state's defense and make sure you have all the witnesses make statements. Ask for a trial. The court does not want a trial. So the attornies and the judge will get together and with the statements decide not to pursue it. Likely they will warn that the two of them part ways and have no contact.
I believe that the two of you will be able to get it over with and go forward.
He is punishing her, in my opinion, for leaving him and being out of his control.
I am sorry to say this but I am not the least surprised. There is an xjerk, controlling and wily who did the same kind of things to me. I have been jailed twice and have 2 batteries on my record when it was all self defense.
The HUGE difference in your case is that you have witnesses.
I, myself would not spend a dime of my own. I would take the state's defense and make sure you have all the witnesses make statements. Ask for a trial. The court does not want a trial. So the attornies and the judge will get together and with the statements decide not to pursue it. Likely they will warn that the two of them part ways and have no contact.
I believe that the two of you will be able to get it over with and go forward.
He is punishing her, in my opinion, for leaving him and being out of his control.
Starry Girl
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Starry Night
Posts: 251
OMG (((Greet)) I am in shock reading your post.
I don't know, I have to say if it were me I would get a lawyer, because she's had legal troubles before, just to be on the safe side.
He is clearly extremely vindictive and willing to go to pretty much any ends to make her suffer...I would protect myself/her with all my power before it snowballs.
I know how you must be suffering for this....I do believe this guy will BURN for the stuff he is causing right now. It can't be the first time. I wonder if you tracked down his old girlfriends if they would have similar stories, or even friends/acquaintances.
I'm so so glad Megan got out of that relationship, it sounds like this guy is a pyschopath!
Hugs and strength...
I don't know, I have to say if it were me I would get a lawyer, because she's had legal troubles before, just to be on the safe side.
He is clearly extremely vindictive and willing to go to pretty much any ends to make her suffer...I would protect myself/her with all my power before it snowballs.
I know how you must be suffering for this....I do believe this guy will BURN for the stuff he is causing right now. It can't be the first time. I wonder if you tracked down his old girlfriends if they would have similar stories, or even friends/acquaintances.
I'm so so glad Megan got out of that relationship, it sounds like this guy is a pyschopath!
Hugs and strength...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
greet & megan -
wow - i'm just amazed at the inequities of legal systems - you and megan are doing all the right things - just remember *coolheadedness(?) prevails* something like that - i would let the state provide legal assistance too - she did NOTHING wrong and the truth will prevail - i'm guessing (i know i shouldn't assume but...) the judge will hear both sides and the cops will be made to look like bumbling idiots - especially if the attorney representing megan lays things out just as you have - maybe you should print out what you wrote - it seems as though it's a comedy of errors - unfortunately you and megan have to live through it...
and you will get through it - prayers, good luck and godspeed...
and karma will bite him in the butt big time...
love,
s
wow - i'm just amazed at the inequities of legal systems - you and megan are doing all the right things - just remember *coolheadedness(?) prevails* something like that - i would let the state provide legal assistance too - she did NOTHING wrong and the truth will prevail - i'm guessing (i know i shouldn't assume but...) the judge will hear both sides and the cops will be made to look like bumbling idiots - especially if the attorney representing megan lays things out just as you have - maybe you should print out what you wrote - it seems as though it's a comedy of errors - unfortunately you and megan have to live through it...
and you will get through it - prayers, good luck and godspeed...
and karma will bite him in the butt big time...
love,
s
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
No advice, Greet, just hugs and prayers that y'all can get this straightened out. As my sponsor always says, "More will be revealed." And hopefully, more will be revealed about this guy who has twisted the story.
FINALLY FREE
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: LAND OF HOPE
Posts: 51
Hey Greet Sorry About What Happened But The Cops Really Arent To Blame They Are Just Doing Their Job Tell Your Daughter That The Best Way To Proof That He Is The One Harrasing Her Is By Filling Charges Agiainst Him Its Like Someone That Is Getting Physically Abused The Cops Cant Know It Happened If It Wasnt Reported. When I Went To Court The Judge Filled A Restraining Order In My Favor Because I Had Reported His Harrasment To The Police I Really Think That If She Does That He Will Finally Get A Clue That She Is Not Willing To Put Up With His Childish Games And That She Wants Nothing To Do With Him Hope The Best To You And Your Daughter And You Are Both In My Prayers
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Greet, The truth will come out. You might have to go through this right now, but it will work itself out. They have no proof of her doing anything wrong........it's rediculious. I wish we didn't have to be tested this way when things seem to be going smoothly. Stay strong.
Hugs and prayers..........Lo
Hugs and prayers..........Lo
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