Denial of my own depression?
 

Well my son is doing pretty well in rehab. I have stayed away, and I think that helps. He is realizing what he has done and he is sad, but hey, that's what happens. It looks like he will be in rehab for about 6 weeks, get his GED and then move on to a sober recovery house about 5 hours from home. I think this plan will work because it's obvious that he has trouble whenever he comes home.

My question today is about myself. I had lunch with an old friend today and I told her how i cope with the stress by taking a nap. She wondered if i am depressed. The question took me off guard because I have been doing what I can to stay focused and moving. I am taking an anti-depressant and have been doing so for about 3 years (ever since i went through a divorce). I keep busy and see friends. But I have noticed that I don't want to go out unless I have to. could I be in denial of my own depression? Okay, so I am analyzing myself way too much. Any thoughts?
krhea

oh, it is hard. will your insurance cover any one on one counseling? it sure helps me..

it might not hurt to talk to your doc about your current meds? maybe it's time for a switch or higher dose for awhile? i know my doc doubled mine when things got so chaotic with my daughter (i've taken anti depressants as well for about 3 years - started them when my dad was terminally ill....)

i'm thinking about you, krhea. you really have come so far in your recovery.

blessings, k

Hi, Krhea;

You're on an anti-depressant already, which means you recognize that you're depressed. Now, it's true that you may need a "boost" due to the excess stress our addicted children provide for us, :wink3:

Why not talk to your doctor about what you're feeling? I know there are times I need help, and other times, I'm ok. Life doesn't come at us in nice neet packages where we get to open one, deal with it and then open the next....For me, these past couple of years have been chaotic! :andy:

Anyway, talking to your doc is the way to go. Describe how you're feeling, what your behaviors are and what your thoughts are, and the two of you can come up with a plan for dealing with your mental health.

I also invite you to visit the mental health forum, here on SR. There's lots of good people there who gladly share their ESH, (experience, strength and hope), in dealing with their own issues. Those shares often help each other.

Wishing you the best! :e058:
Shalom!

I am glad your friend cares about you. That does sound like possible early warning signs. I'd recommend checking in with your prescribing Dr. Some do lose their efficacy over a period of time.

I was doing the same thing in the winter. But then I could not sleep well at night so it ended up that I got a normal amount of sleep total. I hope that you will be feeling better soon, but if not see the doc. Hugs, Marle

(((((krhea))))) IMHO I think that a certain amount of sadness/depression is a normal reality for women "of a certain age" : Hormonal levels contribute, Empty nest syndrome,aging, disappointments, addict sons/daughters, loss, etc. While I am not on meds and I'm not clinically depressed, some days I do feel down which never happened to me in my 20s 30s + 40s. Yes, I'll admit it, I am in my 50s.
Exercise and a healthy diet keep my faily peppy. I went to a therapist a few times.
I reach out to my friends for support, fun and adventure. I try to practive gratitude and take vacations several times a yr.
Before your friend mentioned this to you, had you been feeling different than usual.
Is it situational due to your son's status? I took a long bath yesterday with candles for the 1st time in yrs. that felt wonderful.

I think stress is a big factor also. If you don't feel depressed in any other ways, your body is just tired and rundown. I, on the other hand, have increased my depression meds to--w/ MD approval!
susan

check with your dr. & talk to him about waht is going on. i hope you feel better soon. prayers,

Stress IS hard on a body, and taking a nap isn't a bad practice. I might have jumped too soon...but it is the aversion to going out that is a symptom of depression. Do you feel better after your nap?

I am not clincally trained, however, I can say that for me, sleeping can become an escape mechanism, a way to hide.

Never have experienced long term depression, might be down for a week or so, but, then I am out of the funk.

You may want to have your doctor re-evaluate your meds, could be that they are no longer working as they should.

Khrea,

Whenever my depression is at its worst, all I want to do is sleep! I agree with the above posts, I'm not sure that you sound like you're in denial about it, I think that maybe your body has built up a tolerance to the meds and so you might need a stronger dose? And since it has been a gradual build up of tolerance you just might not have noticed it... until someone brought it up? Just a thought. Either way, I am glad that you have a friend who cares about you enough to bring it up... I hope you find time to get to your doctor soon, because if he thinks something other than depression is causing you to be tired like that, then you definitely need to know what's going on.

Hope you feel better:)

*hugs*

Sometimes we need healing time...I know or me, after major drama, my body crashes and needs awhile to regroup. I agree that if you feel you are behaving differently than you normally would and feel concerned about it, speaking with your docotr is a good idea.

I'm glad your son is doing well and there is a good plan in place for after rehab. Itend to believe that getting as far away fromt he old freinds and habits as possible and in a controlled recovery environment is a good thing especially for young ones. Life is challenging enough for them at that age without addiction. Hugs and prayers

Thanks for all the advice. I do feel better after I sleep, and I am forcing myself to go out inspite of my averson. I think part of it is that I have taught in a nearby school district for so many years that this town is populated with my old students and their families. I know that I will undoubtedly run into them, maybe have to face questions or looks or maybe it's my imagination. Anyway, I will start school in 3 weeks so I will have to face it then. It's probably more of my own paranoia than anything. I am not afraid to admit my son has a drug problem. It's just so hard to deal with the thought that it was in the paper and that it is public knowledge. Anyway, I will keep on top of my symptoms and go to visit a doctor if necessary.
krhea

Khrea,

What age do you teach? I am so jealous that you have three more weeks... I go back next Wednesday!

If you teach older kids, say middle or high school, why not use any instance where they bring it up as a chance to tell them what kind of impact those types of choices have on their families and friends? You'd be teaching them the importance of taking care of themselves, plus removing any question of your involvement in your son's actions.

Besides, three weeks is a long time when you're talking about the memories of kids. They probably will not think anything of it by the time school starts. I know what you mean though... us teachers can be so gossipy sometimes!

I really hope you feel better soon... dealing with this extra stress while trying to enjoy your summer is no fun!

I teach high school students, and yes I agree that it would be a good opportunity for discussion. Just a little awkward. I am glad I have 3 weeks left, especially because we have no air conditioning in our rooms. Hopefully it will begin to cool off a bit before we head back. Thanks, lady.
krhea