oneeyeopen

Here is some thing I thought up as a way to keep me from the exabf -- I have been telling everyone about what happened , I mean the total truth, he is a drug addict, he is an alcoholic, I couldn't take it, he treated me like crap, he stole from me, etc etc etc.

This had two advantages, one is it keeps reminding me of how awful the relationship had been for me. Number two -- if I ever consider getting together with him again I will have a mob of people who will tell me I am crazy! And lots of people to reinforce that breaking up was the right thing to do (not that I doubt it, but I do have these weak moments)

I wrote an e-mail to the exabf giving him a break down of what he owes me and asking him to pay it back. he writes back saying that the deal we made still stands in his mind -- he gives me 200 bucks a month...well, lets see, that deal we made haas only been fulfilled once. I rather like the idea of the monthly reminder that someone said they do with their ex. Any company you owe money to would do the same.

Here we go -- think practical, not emotional.

Yeah, broke the no contact rule, but I figured I would give him a chance to do something about the debt before I went to his parents about it.

BigGirlPanties

I always thought if I cut off my hands, that would solve the "Im not gonna call him EVER AGAIN problem"...



But then I rememberd I have toes....and a nose...and a set of boobs...and that most likely Id use THOSE tools to dial the phone....

so the problem isnt on the outside, its on the inside....once I fixed that....the phone calls stopped. Just for today, anyhow...or, er, the last 20 min or so.

hope213

it is hard sometimes to keep promises to the most important person...ourselves.you can do it, you deserve.

oneeyeopen

think just like AA -- one day, or even one minute, at a time.

At first I was like "just won't contact him in any way this evening" then it was "this day" and now I go day to day. Luckily he has no phone anymore, and I deleted and blocked him from my instant message, so the only other thing is email, and you know it is easy to just delete it if you don't want to read it.

Hurray for deletion!

I think that on email you might also be able to block sender or at any rate put him on your spam list, that automatically blocks it.

yeah, you can be found, he can be found, but for now, you know, fake it til you make it...make it hard to get in touch so that if you decide to it will take some time and you might be able to change your mind.

I have a couple of friends that told me to call them anytime of the day or night if I feel the urge to contact him, that way I get my talking, need someone cause I am lonely, urge to change from -- calling him to calling them.

GiveLove

(((oneeye))),

You are doing great. Keep up the great recovery and self-protection.

GiveLove

dollydo

I think you are doing just fine, keep working on your recovery.