HELP!!Phone call melted me!

Old 07-28-2007, 11:17 AM
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HELP!!Phone call melted me!

Was doing so good I thought. Hubby called, wanted to check on me. Said he has been off work for 2 wks.-wrong he was working 4 days ago. Excuse is he had a heat stroke-took his friends (druggies) hours to get him up off the floor at their house. Says he had a stroke-maybe. He is sooo sick and sorry. Sounds like an OD to be-but knoiw nothing about an OD. Wants to come over in 3 hrs. and talk. Said he would put my truck back in my name (he has a loan on it-3 wks late). Has not paid any of his bills. Got me to tears-major tears. Told him not to come and he says he is coming regardless-just needs to talk. I am about to give in and see him-but it would be the same old lies, just revised. Any advice or do I already know the answer?
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:27 AM
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Sure you know the answer.

And when he gets all done rambling................................look him dead in the eye and say "it's your problem, I cannot have that problem here, so you figure it out."

When he starts the 'yeah buts' and the blah blah blah (quacking) just repeat the above over and over and over like a broken record. NOTE: This is as much for your benefit as his.

You know as soon as he opens his mouth what comes out will be lies and manipulation, so...........................keep the above in the forefront of your mind and you will do great.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:44 AM
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Laurie is right. His problems, his solutions. If I can do it with my 21 year old daughter, you can do it with him. Letting him guilt you into doing something for him that he should be doing for himself does not equal love. It equals an addict manipulating a kind-hearted codie. Don't let it happen. There are places he can go for help that have professionals that know addicts. You are not powerful enough to solve his problems. All said because I care. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:56 AM
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Moms...

Stay strong.
Play the tape all the way through in your head. Even if he does come over and somehow charm you into relaxing your boundaries, think back to a time he did this to you before and how it ended.

Unless and until he finds TRUE recovery...you'll keep acting out the same play over and over and over. I know...Gosh, do I know.

Sending super codie strength your way.
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Old 07-28-2007, 12:15 PM
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the girl can't help it
 
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Only you know the extent of what you have been thru with this man...

My H was trying to guilt and manipulate me this morning wanting me to do something for him...I almost took the bait... then I asked myself why was I going to change my whole day around him and still have to work tonight???? No I don't think so....He threw out a few acid word designed to make me feel sorry for him and I just ignored it...

His attitude changed after that when he saw AI wasn't going for it... he may still be trying to work an angle though. He taught me this...
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Old 07-28-2007, 01:33 PM
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you know you do not want to go back to all the lies,stealing & taking everything you have left. he has already lied to u if he said he has been out of work for 2 wks when you know he hasn't. what u want more? moms,tell him to get lost,do not go to the door.call the law,anything to stay safe.how can you trust him? he wants something..... saying a prayer for you.
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Old 07-28-2007, 01:50 PM
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Moms,
Sorry I am coming in late. I hope he didn't come, but if he did I pray you told him no and to get lost. He is only trying to do what addicts do and that is to get their way. He lied to you about long he was off work etc, and I'm sure whatever or most of what he said is lies.
Sending you prayers, I'm sure you need them right now.
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Old 07-28-2007, 02:27 PM
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Thanks all!!!!! I called him back, he sounded sooo sick when he answered. Told him "DO NOT COME OVER" he said what and I repeated it. Told him 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY" early-it is Monday. He said with a longer sick voice-"Yeah Right-you have certainly taken care of that"!!!!! I hung up. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted and what a weight. Should have found this site yrs. ago!!!!! LOL
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Old 07-28-2007, 02:37 PM
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Way to go, Moms!!!!!

Aren't you proud of yourself? You should be!! Now do something nice for yourself tonight...

hugs...
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Old 07-28-2007, 03:16 PM
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i am so proud of you.i know you have had such a hard time letting go of this man. you deserve so much better than he could ever give you.you are getting better & it gets easier to say no as time goes on. it takes pratice.hugs,
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Old 07-28-2007, 03:29 PM
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Hi Rainbow,
At least you know what to expect when he comes.
Stay strong and do what is BEST FOR YOU!
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Old 07-28-2007, 03:40 PM
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Definitely do something nice for yourself. Reward yourself for loving yourself enough to say NO. Hugs, Marle
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