ladyamalthea

My lease at the apartment is up on Tuesday. Luckily, Matt (my husband) is off from work Mondays and Tuesdays this month, so at least we'll be free to do this without worrying about work schedules...

We still haven't closed on the house yet because we're waiting to make sure FEMA will amend the flood map to show that we don't need flood insurance. Our next door neighboors were successful and they sit lower than us. So, this shouldn't be a problem.

Herein lies the wrinkle:

Matt's parents offered to let us stay there for a few weeks while we wait for the closing. Sounds great, except that there is currently quite a bit of friction because of problems relating to my parents. My parents are in the middle of filing bankruptsy and have had several creditors harrassing them lately. One of them decided to find out who is connected to my parents in any way, shape, or form. Luckily, they cannot find a phone number on me or my husband because all we have are cell phones. They did, however, manage to find Matt's parents. These people called Matt's parents to harrass them about my parents. Matt's mom, in turn, called Matt and yelled at him about it. I passed the word along to my mom, who told me to tell them to either not answer the phone, or to tell them to go away.

Apparently that did not happen or did not work because the same group called Matt's parents again. Matt's mom called me this time, and said, by her own admission, "in a very firm voice" that we needed to take care of this or she was going to give these people mine and Matt's numbers. I told her that this was not a sound action to take, that Matt and I have no more to do with this than she does. She kept repeating that it's not her problem... and I kept saying it's not mine either... and so it went. This really upset me though, because I have done nothing to deserve this "very firm voice" which she inflicted upon me.

Today, she told Matt that she doesn't want anything to do with my parents ever again, that between my dad having a hard time keeping work, my mom being crazy, and my sister being a heroin addict, that she feels like she's better than them and doesn't care if they drop off the face of the earth!

Here's the kicker: my parents have done more to help Matt and I than his parents would ever even consider doing. Did they offer to let us borrow a vehicle when my car died? Of course not! But my parents did... I am currently borrowing my dad's van for the next week or so, until we can move. And Matt agrees with me; he says that he loves my parents and it hurts him that his mom judges them. She grew up in a worse situation than my parents have ever had!

As far as dad's jobs go: He's a contractor. He's an aging contractor. Lately he's been doing better, but there have been several times when he was without work. He always makes sure his family is taken care of, though. Never once has he even asked for food stamps, even at times when he really probably should have.

As far as mom goes: Yes, she is a bit of a nut at the moment. But who wouldn't be if their baby girl was a heroin addict?

As for my ras: I am very proud of my ras. I love her with all of my heart and will stand by her side in her defense any day of the week. So she's made a few mistakes... some pretty big ones... but she's doing all she can to turn it around, which is more than I can say for some. Besides, Matt's mom is a nurse. She should know that people of all walks of life have problems with addiction...

So, how can she possibly know me, pretend to love me as well as her son, and be such a snob when it comes to my family? Does she not realize how unfair her comments are? I can understand that from a complete stranger, but from her? If anything, she's hurting Matt by insulting the family he married into...

And this is the lady I am about to spend quite a bit of time with... just pray that I have the discipline to not give her a piece of my mind. Please.

nevergivingup

Do you have any other options as to who/where you can stay? Perhaps renting something at a month to month lease?

As far as the phone calls from the creditors, she needs to write a letter to them stating that she is not responsible for the debts owed by your parents, and that any and all further phone calls will be considered harrassment. After she sends the letter, they are legally not allowed to call her again. If they do, she can sue them for harrassment.

I went through a bankruptcy myself, and personally know that the creditors can be outright ruthless, nasty, and harrassing. However, you didn't cause this, and her behavior is not helping the situation. Personally, I think she's just looking for a little attention. I mean really, was one phone call something that absolutely ruined her life? I really don't think so. She's over-reacting to it.

Let it go..... her attitude I mean. Some ppl just don't get it and never will get it. And keeping that in mind when you're speaking to her will do a world of good.

dollydo

Well, if your parents are filing bankruptcy then there is an attorney involved, the firm has a telephone number, and that can be given.

Also, the in-laws have the option to change their phone number and make it an unlisted number, hence, no more calls.

Make it easy on her, just say "Go Ahead" give the numbers out, really what difference does it make? None, the proceeding will go thru, it is the due process of law.

I agree with Never, let it go, will reduce the stress 100%.

hope213

i pray for you & i pray that your mil will come to her senses & realize how blessed she is that she does not have these problems & be more understanding. hugs,