Why won't he just let me be??
 

AH just keeps hanging around, acting like everything is just great between us. I just want to scream. I'm living at my parents for a reason!!! He made a phone call to an addiction counsellor, has tried maybe twice and gotten no answer. He has told me that if he can't get through to a counsellor that he wants to go to rehab, says he's done and had enough. Well sh*t, ME TOO. I'm tired of him hanging around all day and asking me when I'm coming home. I've told him that I don't know if I'm ever going to come home, that I need time to figure things out for myself, that he's no longer a priority in my life and if being home alone makes him feel sad and lonely.. that's HIS problem not mine. But still, he hangs around. I'm to the point now where I'm thinking of going and talking to a lawyer to get the paperwork rolling for legal seperation. I NEED TIME to figure everything out, TIME to myself and he's just not allowing that to happen. He came over and watched our daughter yesterday so that I could go to town and buy her birthday presents and when I got back he just stayed. I went to go for a quad trip with my brothers.. he tagged along. I'm just getting so frustrated! On top of everything else, all of a sudden my daughter is repeatedly asking to go home. We've been here since Sunday and not once has she made any mention of going home, she likes being here with her Papa. But she spends the day alone with AH and all of a sudden it's all she can say?! WTF?!?!?! I'm furious over that because I know he had to have said something to her and that just isn't right.. she's only 2, she doesn't understand and he does not need to be making it difficult or confusing for her! How do I make him understand that he needs to step away from us for a bit? He keeps telling me that he "needs" us home right now because if he's going to do the counselling or rehab he doesn't want to be alone.. he wants our support. He can have our support... from a distance! I know exactly what will happen if I go home right now.. and I will not allow it to happen. Even my son says that we're NOT going home until it's going to be better.

If you are really serious about having no contact with him, then you may need to do this and include a restraining order. Even with an RO my exah didn't get the picture for a long time. It's all about boundaries and what you will or will not allow in your life. Addicts don't have a clue what a boundary is because they don't have any of their own.

Take care of you and the kids; if that means making it legal, just do it.

((((hugs)))

I think duet is right. YOU have to set the boundries, but only ones that you can stick to. You will know when you have had enough. That is when you will set a boundry.
Terri

As my mom said one day two weeks ago when I was sobbing about the abf leaving and I said he would never be back "he'll be back" and I asked her why she thinks that and she said "because he is an alcoholic and addict, that's what they do" this from a woman who has spent 50 years married to an alcoholic and 38 years in al-anon. she has heard it all, so I figure she would know. simple -- because he is an addict...