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Old 07-25-2007, 01:59 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
That is rotten and selfish,
Honey this is addiction at it's true form.

Addiction is selfish but it's not personal.

This has nothing to do with anything but her.

An addict is aware of it's serious consequences.

This is a quote posted in the substance forum yesterday,


"It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth, and I like the taste of metal"
It's that powerful. She loves her family more than the drug, but
the drug loves her more than her family.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:01 PM
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As a recovering cocaine addict, I completely understand addiction. I did some really rotten, selfish things and I am paying for them now. Thank goodness someone made me accept responsibility for my actions and forced me to look at the things I was doing and be accountable for them.

That is all I meant. I should have clarified.

No offense to you Caileesnana. And no offense to your daughter. But I am into calling a spade a spade and I hate to see people being hurt, abused and used by addicts who think nothing of the people who love them and only about their next fix.

Thanks.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:22 PM
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No offense taken. I personally don't think she gives a d--- about anyone, not even herself! She didn't even make it a week out--and had the guts to pick up a 60 day chip. What a hypocrite. I still hate her right now and want her out of my life, my memory, and my house. Once again,I will pack her crap in plastic bags. All except the new clothes I bought cuz she got too fat to fit into anything. I hope she is happy with what she's done and damn proud of herself.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:28 PM
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(((hugs)))

I'm sorry you are disappointed, your pain is obvious. I will be praying she can find her way to recovery.

I hate drugs.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:33 PM
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Wink

You are probably right about the not caring about herself either.

Designer addict luggage = plastic bags.

People can recover. But it really does take a lot. I'm so touched that you love her enough to follow thru with your contract. It's got to be so difficult to do that. Harder than letting it slide. But yet your love shines thru.

Over the long haul, I am sure your daughter will appreciate everything you have done to save her, including giving her the chance to save herself.

At least I would.
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:43 PM
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sorry, i been there and done that and there is no explanation, except of course thats what addicts do. i wish we would have put as in a recovery home immediately out of rehab. we just aren't ever going to get used to that behavior, but the people in recovery homes lived it. maybe that is an option for you. whether shes using or not. my as is in one now because he doesnt have many other options
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Old 07-25-2007, 02:56 PM
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Yes, she will not come home! I have put her out twice for using and she made a contract, I signed it and I WILL follow it.
What a mess!
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Old 07-25-2007, 03:08 PM
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Sending prayers. I hate addiction so much. Hate what it does to everyone!!!
Terri
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Old 07-25-2007, 03:28 PM
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Susan, Your daughter most likely already hates herself for what she is doing. Can you imagine someone who feels good about themselves doing the things an addict does. I have used this analogy before about cigarette smoking but it is even more personal to me now because I am struggling with quitting. I am telling myself things like one won't hurt. If my thoughts were spoken, I probably sound just like an addict ready to relapse. It is hard and once she got out of rehab, it became harder. Not a reason to forget your boundaries but maybe a reason to go easy on yourself. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-25-2007, 03:41 PM
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((((SUSAN)))) It goes on and on...I thought this was your time, her time. At least you know how you want to handle the situation. I am so very sorry. It is disappointing and it hurts. BUT all of you will get back up and try again and how ever many agains it takes. Blessing coming to Texas for you!
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Old 07-25-2007, 03:42 PM
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OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SUSAN....................as i read my fears are getting worse............(((((((((((((((((((((((((SUSAN))) ))))))))))))))))))))))) How do I tell Tim?????? I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry you are going thru this. Call me if you need to!
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Old 07-25-2007, 04:04 PM
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mom hugs. i understand. prayers. k
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Old 07-25-2007, 04:08 PM
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sorry, put a prayer out for your daughter - but wrong thread. blessings, k

still - prayers.......k
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Old 07-25-2007, 05:04 PM
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Oh how I know that dissapointment. Keep in mind that there's still nothing you can do. She is going to have to do it herself.
I am taking care of my grandchild and her mother while my son is in jail.
It's a huge responsibility and I am exhausted every single day.
I will find time to do something for my self this weekend!
I hope things calm down for you. You deserve some peace.
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Old 07-25-2007, 05:23 PM
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((((((Caileesnana)))))))

I'm so sorry for the worry and stress over your daughter.
It happens. If you let it control you, it will.
I finally had to start using anger as my weapon of choice to get through those
heartbreaking moments.
I would definitely tell her she needs to find another "recovery home".
This is too much on you and your husband. I feel for you both.
When we first moved back home to Cincinnati from Pennsylvania, my as got a job in a restaurant that served alcohol. How appropriate.
He worked there 2 weeks. The second paycheck he blew on a crack binge and alcohol. The next morning when he rolled in, I put him out.
That was our agreement. No staying out all night.
Oh, and the first rule...hold a friggin' job.
I know he really wanted to do well. He always has every intention of doing well.
Then "it" would call him.
I'm so thankful to God for guiding him on his journey. He's doing better.
Granted, he does have his moments, but they're few and far between and I have worked recovery long enough to detach from them. Mostly. lol
Take care of you.
Love,
Linda
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Old 07-25-2007, 05:32 PM
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Darlin your box is full, lol..
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:26 PM
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Susan, I know you are feeling a lot of hatred toward her right now. I have noticed with my daughter when she relapes she seems to get right back on track. I know you are frustrated, but they say relapse is a part of recovery. I do believe you should stick to the boundries that you are comfortable with, but don't make anything worse for yourself. Give her a chance to confess and see where it takes you. I'm not telling you to be a whimp about it. I know if it were me, I would be steaming mad. There are no excuses for what she has done, I understand that, but see where this is going before you do something you might regret.
Prayers are coming your way. Hang in there, I am here for you.
Luv.........Lois
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:48 PM
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cail, I am so so sorry for your pain. Please remember this isn't about you or directed toward you. It is the drugs. You can use this as an opportunity to stick to your boundries, and see how far you've come. It is a good thing to not wnt to fix everything for her. I know you love her with all your heart, but are just too frustrated to feel the love right now. This sounds like alot of what my daughter has gone through. She once took a chip che truley didn't earn. One of the hardest things she had to do was to share with the group later that she truley didn't earn it. That was a big step. She din't realize how obvious it was to most people there that she was still using, she was knodding off ect. But they reached out to her when she admited what she had done. Tonight she just honestly recieved her 90 day chip. I hope that your daughter will soon find her way as well. Please don't be afraid to come here & vent. Alot of us have been there done that. We are here beside you on this journey.
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Old 07-25-2007, 09:22 PM
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One of the doctors on HBO addiction series said that we can understand that it is a disease because an addict continues in spite of catastrophic consequences, not just small ones. I understand your pain. My son has been in rehab 4 times and he's going back tomorrow. Last time he stayed clean for about a month I think, and since then he has been arrested twice. It just doesn't make sense to us. Hang in there, sweetie.
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Old 07-25-2007, 10:20 PM
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Hugs....How are things going? I'm praying for all of you.
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