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-   -   The toll on our health (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/129075-toll-our-health.html)

marle 07-21-2007 05:55 PM

The toll on our health
 
The last three years of dealing with my daughter's addiction has finally started to take a toll on my body. Today I had terrible pains in my stomach. I went to the emergency room but they were very busy and after an hour and a half of waiting I felt better and decided I will call my doctor on Monday. I think it is most likely an ulcer caused by stress, too much coffee, too many cigarettes and not being able to eat when I was dealing with the craziness of addiction. I have been doing a lot better the last year, but the effects had already done the damage. How many of you have had some illness that could be connected to the stress of loving an addict. Marle

Lovestoomuch 07-21-2007 06:09 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this Marle.
I have been hospitalized 3 or 4 times for stress related illnesses when I was with my exabf. Each time my blood pressure had gone through the roof and I was having heart attack like symtoms.

I still gets bouts of hypertension as a result. Stress is nothing to mess with although while you're in it, you just don't pay much attention to the toll it's taking.

Please take care of yourself. Some things can be reversed, but sadly some cannot. I'm keeping you in my prayers sweetie.:hug:

teke 07-21-2007 06:11 PM

marle, PLEASE DON'T, take this stomach pain lightly, this is exactly how i felt coming up to my surgery. i had this awful pain once the wk before, and i took some antacids and some other home remedies and felt better, i thought maybe it was an ulcer but didn't think too much about it and the next pain i had like that, ended with me now.

stomach pains take on a whole new meaning for me now, so please take care of yourself and see a doctor. yes, thats what i had, an ulcer that i didn't know i had that ate through the wall of my stomach.'

doctor said too much stress, too much caffene, too many cigs. my ah came to see me on day while in the hospital and the doctor came in to check on me. the next day, he came in and gave me some going home instructions, and i think that he got the idea from looking at my ah. he told me that if i want to stay healthy, i had to change the people that i hang around. i believe that he saw a source of my stress written all over my ah's face. even my neck injury can relate back to someone elses addiction, not that i'm blaming noone but me, its still the truth.

i've suffered physically in more ways than one due to my involvement with someone elses addiction, and i need to focus more on me and my health.

cinderellawkids 07-21-2007 06:13 PM

Take care Marle, Ive been having similar stomach pains, cut out soda. Still think its an ulcer here too

raerae6 07-21-2007 06:13 PM

I think that stress is a big factor in many illnesses. That's what I've read and I beleive it.

BTW, Marle, I added something to your 'prayers' thread that I thought might interest you.

marle 07-21-2007 06:16 PM

The thing is is that I have been doing a lot better as far as keeping my stress down. This came out of the blue today. I went to take a nap and I had been laying down less then 5 minutes when I got the most Godawful boring pain in my stomach. It just got worse and worse, so I got up and told hubby to take me to the hospital. I really thought I was having a heart attack. It was not. Thank goodness it wasn't because I would have died in the waiting room. I belched a lot and eventually it went away. If it comes back, I will go back to the hospital. It scared the bejeesus out of me. Marle

havehope 07-21-2007 06:18 PM

Marle
I am sorry you have felt bad lately. I am glad that you will be seeing a doctor on Monday.
My whole family has been affected by the stress of my daughters addiction. My body tends to tell me when I have had enough. By either becoming tingly or numb on one side of my face and arm, or my heart feeling like it is about to come out of my chest, my body tells me "enough is enough". I then stop and re-evaluate what my emotions are doing to me. But it usually takes God hitting me on the head to make me see what I am doing to myself.
I pray the rest of the week-end is better for you and the doctor can give you some help with your stomach.
Hugs and Love
Terri

teke 07-21-2007 06:25 PM

ok marle, i'm praying for you, if you have one of those pains again please go to the er and stay at least until you get checked. not trying to scare you i'm just concerned.

Lovestoomuch 07-21-2007 06:29 PM

Do you know what the doctors told me. Honest Abe. Sometimes the worst symtoms happen after everything has calmed down.

ladyjane 07-21-2007 06:32 PM

I can't sleep. I've become an insomniac. I lie awake and feel like I can't breath. I have terrible stress headaches and my stomach will be upset.
My husband's blood pressure goes through the roof. He also gets the stress headaches and has trouble sleeping.
I've also noticed that even a common cold will hang on and on.
Just dealing with as or ad leaves us feeling totally exhausted.
____________________
Trish

lightseeker 07-21-2007 06:34 PM

Marle -

Take care of yourself. Glad that you are going to the doctor on Monday. My health has definitely been impacted by the my living situation w/my RAH. In the last two months I was diagnosed w/pre diabetes. In the last two years I've gained 25 pounds. I can see the difference in my face when I look at pictures - look much older and worn out (I am). I have a number of musculoskeletal aches that I know are stress related. The worst of it is that I have felt suicidal 3 times in the last two years. It is emotional abuse to live with an active addict and it takes a toll. My RAH picked up a two year chip this morning but he definitely has not worked a recovery program. I finally picked up the Lundy Bancroft book and some by Patricia Evans and I now see how emotionally abusive our relationship has been - even in sobriety.

From now until forever I am taking care of myself......hopefully, my RAH is on board but if not.......it's about me and my health and happiness now.

Let us know how you fare at the doctor....Sending prayers.

Donna

marle 07-21-2007 06:44 PM

This summer I did decide to lose the 10 pounds that I gained during my recovery from the broken knee cap. I have been walking every day, and eating a lot of good foods. Even bought Steelcut oatmeal and use soy milk. Lots of fruit and making sure to get the foods with no transfat. I do believe this is something that has just been festering and is now showing itself. A week ago when I had the stress of finding out my AD had passed a bad check and the trooper would not do a missing person's report on her and then finally finding out where she is living probably tipped me over the edge. I have not felt right all week. That sense of impending doom has made me feel a bit like I am in the twilight zone. Just starting to feel more hopeful the last couple of days. I thought I was dying and my poor husband was speeding to the ER. Scary thing for this old lady. Marle

havehope 07-21-2007 06:45 PM

I forgot about the weight gain thing. Had lost 30 pounds right before I found out about daughters addiction. Of course I am a stress eater, so the 30 pounds came right back. Now, I have taken 10 of those back off.
Once I thought very seriously about driving right into a pole. I was just tired of the whole thing. Glad I didn't now, but it was a close call.
I hate addiction and the things it does to everyone affected. Just hate it!!

marle 07-21-2007 07:03 PM

Loves, I have read that when someone goes through severe stress that within the year they will have a major illness. It was a little over a year ago that my daughter relapsed, got fired from her job and I found her in bed with the crack addict boyfriend. So I guess it does happen. Marle

hope213 07-21-2007 07:06 PM

marle, go to the dr. it may not be anything but then it could be.go get your self checked out. stress will kill you.
my illness is high blood pressure due to stress.my mother went into a coma due to her b.p. & was that way for 3 months before she passed away. it gets so high sometime i am dizzy & have to go to bed. when thing get really bad i go into denial & block things out, i can not function. i am getting so much better with all of this but i can not control my blood pressure even when i "let go & let God".

tropikgal2 07-21-2007 07:08 PM

Marle, Take care of yourself! Try meditating on your breath....in..out..in....out. Just focus on that. Even 5 minutes a day will do wonders for you.
The thing I experienced (other than weight loss which I dont' need cuz I am slim as it is), was higher than normal blood pressure. That scared me! I have always been fanatical abotut my health and my blood pressure has always been top-notch.
I decided right then and there that if my RAH goes back to his ways...I'm outta here! No high blood pressure and possibly a stroke for this gal 'cuz he's being stupid!

mjpaao 07-21-2007 07:12 PM

(( marle ))
Don't know if this pertains to you, but my dad developed a bleeding ulser from too many aspirin. Hope you feel better, please take care.
My biggest problem is the anxiety attacks anytime someone tells me a new rumor about ah. Not fun at all.

marle 07-21-2007 07:18 PM

Mjpaao, I have been taking one baby aspirin a day. I had to do that when I broke my kneecap to prevent blood clots. I have just continued to take them because I know the facts about baby aspirin and heart attacks. But I told my husband that I am stopping them until I find out what is wrong. Marle

Wascally Wabbit 07-21-2007 07:31 PM

Marle, I am sorry you're having so much darn pain.
I get sick from too much stress too. We really do have to cut down on the things that cause it be it diet, smoking or people.
I hope you feel better soon.

dollydo 07-21-2007 07:35 PM

Yes, I do believe that stress can knock us on our butts.

Stress is a trigger for my meniers disease, I didn't even know I had the disease until last December, a full six months after ex was gone, and the doctor stated that I have had the disease for years, it just maintained a status, until my stress level got out of my control and then the disease progressed like wildfire.

I am glad you are going to the doctor, good idea.


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