Live

My isis sent her son to UK because they had the best for soccer lessons. Daughter is laying on her butt waiting for her vacation to Amsterdam for turning 18. This has been the way they have been raised.
I wonder alot of times what kind of adulthood they are going to have...because they will not be able to afford the standard of living they are accustomed to.

I am not sure who is going to have a harder time with it...my sis or the grown kids.

nevergivingup

I think alot of it has to do with alot of these reality shows like "My Super Sweet Sixteen" that's on MTV. They show these ridiculously rich kids who have these insanely expensive parties. And, I must confess that even though I'm not hurting for money, it does pull at me that those parents can give there children things like that.

But, the real problem, in my opinion, is that those "gifts" are not given as gifts. J gets things because I want to give them to him. He doesn't get them because he insists that he has them! I think there's a HUGE difference there! If you have the means and have that mentality of wanting to give your kids things that you didn't have, then fine, go ahead and do it, with some responsibility involved in it! There's a difference between those parents who give because they want to give and those who feel obligated to give. Like buying the child a toy when they're laying on the ground yelling and screaming. Which, is just poor parenting to begin with, because how do you bring the kid into the toy store and then tell them they can't get anything? I think alot of this is common sense. And, for most of those kids, mom or dad saying "no" doesn't mean "no." It means ask her 12 more times and if she still says "no," drop on the floor and cry! For J, if I say "no" to something, it's understood and respected! There is no asking me over and over again. There is no giving in on those things! If I said "no," I had a reason for saying "no."

I see alot of friends of mine who have that mentality that they're owed something, just for being who they are. But again, they expected to get what they wanted and were given it, and their parents gave into all the kicking and screaming! And despite having their college educations paid for, new cars, etc. they've strived to do nothing with their lives, because even if they fail, there's always that safety net!

rahsue

oh if only more people thought this way, we wouldn't be wondering the question.
my first car was a beat up honda civic, mind you back then they were smaller than the mini coopers. and it was a stick shift. got me from point a to point b
I've worked since I was 15. and yeah I gave my kids the things I didn't get. and I know that was my big mistake

Live

Because of tragedies in our family I tried to make things up to my daughter until she believed she was entitled to it...to the point where she disrepected me, then it was time for me to change things. There is no longer any sense of entitlement she feels I owe her, but for awhile...big time..and I fostered it. So, it was my problem to fix.

tropikgal2

Gee, wonder why she wants to go to Amsterdam.....or am I making assumptions here?

Live

LOL...I am sure you are part right. But that is not all of it. I would give an eye tooth just to spend a week there and I'd be straight and spend a good deal of my time in the Rijksmuseum. It is an incredible city and society.

Wascally Wabbit

I feel like an old granny!
I didn't walk 5 miles to school in the snow or anything but I rode a bike till I was 22 because I couldn't afford a car. Then when I got one, I felt like heaven had come down and blessed me with something incredible!
It was a beater too. But, I was very thankful for it.