Ok, where is the line between decency and self preservation? Words of Reason needed
 

Aaay yaaah yaah! I still have a cell phone account that my exagf's daughter is using and I've pretty much lost all patience with this already. It's been about a month now, and since then exagf lied to get a TRO, forced me to go to court, got everything dropped, but since then I've been trying to do the decent thing by her daughter and give her the opportunity to take over the account with Verizon, and she just gives one bs excuse after another. I finally called Verizon this morning and told them to turn it off already. I'm thinking this is just her way of holding on and although I still have some belongings there, honestly, I can live without them. Vindictiveness is starting to grab a hold of me and I tempted to retaliate by having her arrested for having violated the TRO in the first place, which I didn't, so someone...please stop me. Now she wants to take me to small claims court to get money for her bills. I know it won't fly and besides that I shelled out 4000 last month to pay bills, but all she wants to do is mess with me and force me to take yet another day off from work. I am tempted to file a complaint about the violation, tell the police about the fact that she's a two time offender for drving on the suspended drivers list and a 3rd time is a mandatory 10 days in the county jail. I'm letting her push my buttons right now. Please, someone.....I need to hear some words of reason!!

Well, suppose you do all that-tell on her and nothing happens. That will just create more resentment in you. And she will once again be pushing your buttons. Canceling the phone was a good idea because it is probably not only the daughter that is using it. Cut off all contact now. That is what is best for you. If she wants to continue to try to sue you for this and for that, eventually the courts will catch on to her. Sorry that she is doing this to you. She must be one miserable, sick woman. Hugs, Marle

before i make decisions concerning my daughter, i try to remember to ask myself - how is this going to help my recovery?

blessings, k

Wait. Wait until next week. Do nothing for one week (except cutting off all and any money related things, like the cell account).

If you still want to do all of this in one week, and you are doing it for YOU, then act on it and do it.

Been down vindictive road... (My Motto used to be don't get mad, just get EVEN!). It feels good for awhile but eventually it doesn't any more.

Better to give it up to your HP for now. The issue is going no where, so it can keep for a week. Stick it on a shelf for now.

Good questions to ask before acting:

Does this need to be done?
Does this need to be done right now?
Does this need to be done right now by me?

Just steps I use to try to calm that inner voice inside of me that is screaming for me to react to their actions, rather than wait and act on a calm, sane manner.

Not saying what is right for you to do, but if you give yourself some time to process the feelings and then maybe wait to make a decision when you can feel a little calmer.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

Thank you all. That's exactly what I needed, and a walk around the lake. Doing nothing and not reacting is a whole lot better than wishing I did nothing after doing something. I've done nothing. Got to remember the important words the therapist pointed out to me "Think about the expected outcome and whether it's what you want". Just a moment of weakness there..... Thanks though. I needed that.

*hugs and prayers for continued strength and wisdom*

I really look up to you a lot for the wisdom and strength you've shown so far... just keep your head up! :)

Hi Done,

You and your son can come take a walk around my lake any time:

http://www.evergreenbusiness.org/lakehouse3.jpg

(there's a nice footpath all the way around and by the time I finish it I usually have my reasonable brain screwed back on tight)

Love,
GL

Thank You GL :) it certainly is beautiful!

I totally agree with Elana. Don't do anything, except cut the money flow off including the cell phone for the time being. Perhaps have no communication etiher.
When we do things when we're angry we usually regret it later.

When the gravey train comes to a stop, addicts start finding others to "help". Let her help her self for a while and see where that goes.
Keep us posted on this.
Hugs,
WW