wayconfused

Hello all... Been awhile since I've posted or been here. Needless to say not much has changed. My AH went to ehab. now he is back on the pills again. Mad cause I wont give him my car. Anyway... I need some help guys.
He has been arested a few times for DWI. The counties around here are crazy. They picked him up once on jumping probation on a 2nd DWI then carried him to jail and charged ah with another 2nd dwi. Nothing ever came of that. Now he has another 2nd dwi... And the DA is sending him papers to plea for 1 year probation. I dont want him to have a felony. But, a lawyer told me it has to be a felony for a judge to order rehab. I dont know why or how this county does this... But what would you do?? Call the DA and tell him but I dont know if I could live with myself or just let them find out them selves. I dont know was just pondering on how to et him help where he cant just walk out.

outonalimb

wayconfused...

Why is this YOUR problem to figure out?

laketime

my advice is hands off the addict

wayconfused

I dont know!!! Its really not.. Thats why I am come here to get strength.. I have learned a few things from coming here. I just lost my step.. And am trying to get back to where I was with learning how to let go.. My ah is one of the best on making me feel guilty.. .And I just want him to get help I know I cant make him..
Sometimes I just feel really lost...

cinderellawkids

Quick note, he needs to figure this out, but besides that he should ask DA if the plea would leave ajudification withheld for either.

If ajudification is withhold he's not considered "convicted of a felony" and it can years later be exponged, unless of course he violates probation or rehab order, then he's considered ajudicated guilty (a/k/a ajudged guilty a/k/a convicted of a felony)

parentrecovers

even if he's forced to go and stay in rehab - it doesn't mean he'll find recovery. that's up to him. blessings, k

dollydo

Let the chips fall where they may. All I know is that, if he doesn't seek help, doesn't hop on the recovery train, for life, nothing will change....there will be another DWI in his future, and possibly time in prison.

This is a problem he created, and a problem only he can resolve.

Noah812

Wayconfused - Being that I live so close to you and share the roads with your husband I am glad it is a felony. If he breaks the law and gets caught it is his problem not yours. I think you would feel diffrently if I was the one driving around intoxocated or another stranger and not someone as close to you as AH. It is his problem, let him deal with it.

ladyamalthea

I have to agree with everyone. My parents tried so many times to help my sister decide her legal matters and it only made things worse. Why put more stress on yourself than you have to? You've had enough stress already.

tropikgal2

Are you living in the same house? If so, that is a problem. If not, no problem. Just ignore him and HIS PROBLEMS.

teke

i agree with the others, time to focus on you and allow ah to do the same. keeping you and yours in my prayers

ConcernedBigSis

I agree with the others, its not your problem. Let him figure this out for himself. Being forced into recovery isn't going to help him unless he truly wants to recover.

wayconfused

Noah, I feel just like you do even with it being my AH driving.. I dont like it at all. My sister was hit and killed by a drunk driver in 1985. She wasn't even 17. The law in texas says its not a felony until your 3rd one. I dont understand why the state doesnt come in and say something to these counties. Who doesnt check things out. Cause in what I have found out the counties keep the fine money and such if its not a felony. If it is a felony the state gets the money. So I feel like thats why they keep letting him get by.
I do know this is his problem but, its just hard for me to stop wanting to do something for him. I know I am wrong. And I am working on trying to fix myself.