Greeteachday
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
(((Greeteachday)))
Please know that you and your daughter are in my prayers...
I often think of your daughter and feel the presence of an angel hovering nearby
I think she is the guardian angel of all of us here at SR
Please know that you and your daughter are in my prayers...
I often think of your daughter and feel the presence of an angel hovering nearby
I think she is the guardian angel of all of us here at SR
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Thank you so much, my dear friends, I truly love you all. Today will be a bit of a struggle, but at the same time I am so very grateful for all the love and support I have in my life. You have shared in my joys and sorrows from the time I came here, and you walked with me through the hardest times of loosing my sweet daughter. I suspect getting through all the "firsts" will be the most difficult, but for each of those firsts, you have been here with love and caring.
Addiction swept through my life very quickly...in just 7 short months I learned of Kristen's addiction and lost her. I truly believe my HP helped me to take a fast track in understanding the disease aspect and recognizing how hard she tried to battle so I could drop any anger and resentment and spend our last few months expressing the love we had. I know he guided me to that spiritual connection with him and in understanding the benefit of a 12 step program in my life, for if he had not, I know I could not have made it through this year and found joy in life despite such a painful loss.
The night Kristen went back out, the night she died from the tainted heroin, I knew something was wrong...She had readily agreed and honored requests that if she was not going to be home when expected to call and it didn't happen. I could not reach her on her cell...I felt that sick feeling...But I knew i could not control it and I chose to go to my Naranon meeting and continue my day. I prayed for her and slept that night. Recovery and my higher power have helped me not to go to the if onlys or the whys...there is no if only and I am at poeace with not knowing why...My higher power has a plan and I trust him....Once I surrendered, that was easy. I know I was powerless over addiction and controlling whether my daughter would use.
I know that loosing a child is the greatest fear every parent of an addict here has...I sometimes shy away from mentioning it because I don't want people to have to see that sometimes that is a reality. I pray every night that it is never a reality for anyone else. But it has been my experience that with the support of many wonderful people here, and in Naranon and my "real" life; with hard work on recovery and placing my trust and turning my will over to my higher power, even the greatest fear can be conquered and a better life can be found. I will always miss my daughter; I will always wish in the deepest part of my heart that this is a bad dream and I will wake up...I am not the same person I was and I never will be again...But in many ways I am a stronger person who has found peace and serenity and yes, even joy. I hope that I can help to ease the pain of the newcomer here and at Naranon and to give back to the program just a small fraction of what it has given me. I still have recovery work...it is ongoing, but I have found a better life and some light by walking with all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that precious gift you have given me.
I love you Kristen, I always will. I know you still fly with me, my precious butterfly, and your spirit lives on. You will live in my heart forever and the lives you touched will always feel your gentle presence.
Kristen Elise
May 13, 1986 - July 14, 2006
Addiction swept through my life very quickly...in just 7 short months I learned of Kristen's addiction and lost her. I truly believe my HP helped me to take a fast track in understanding the disease aspect and recognizing how hard she tried to battle so I could drop any anger and resentment and spend our last few months expressing the love we had. I know he guided me to that spiritual connection with him and in understanding the benefit of a 12 step program in my life, for if he had not, I know I could not have made it through this year and found joy in life despite such a painful loss.
The night Kristen went back out, the night she died from the tainted heroin, I knew something was wrong...She had readily agreed and honored requests that if she was not going to be home when expected to call and it didn't happen. I could not reach her on her cell...I felt that sick feeling...But I knew i could not control it and I chose to go to my Naranon meeting and continue my day. I prayed for her and slept that night. Recovery and my higher power have helped me not to go to the if onlys or the whys...there is no if only and I am at poeace with not knowing why...My higher power has a plan and I trust him....Once I surrendered, that was easy. I know I was powerless over addiction and controlling whether my daughter would use.
I know that loosing a child is the greatest fear every parent of an addict here has...I sometimes shy away from mentioning it because I don't want people to have to see that sometimes that is a reality. I pray every night that it is never a reality for anyone else. But it has been my experience that with the support of many wonderful people here, and in Naranon and my "real" life; with hard work on recovery and placing my trust and turning my will over to my higher power, even the greatest fear can be conquered and a better life can be found. I will always miss my daughter; I will always wish in the deepest part of my heart that this is a bad dream and I will wake up...I am not the same person I was and I never will be again...But in many ways I am a stronger person who has found peace and serenity and yes, even joy. I hope that I can help to ease the pain of the newcomer here and at Naranon and to give back to the program just a small fraction of what it has given me. I still have recovery work...it is ongoing, but I have found a better life and some light by walking with all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that precious gift you have given me.
I love you Kristen, I always will. I know you still fly with me, my precious butterfly, and your spirit lives on. You will live in my heart forever and the lives you touched will always feel your gentle presence.
Kristen Elise
May 13, 1986 - July 14, 2006
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Greet,
Your daughter is just Beautiful !!!! Thank you so much for sharing her with us. I really feel that you've inspired me to be a stronger person in many ways. I'm so very sorry for your great loss a year ago and I'm sure, everyday since. I do think of you and your daughter often and I will think of the both of you today, especially.
((((((((((((((((Loving Caring Hugs)))))))))))))))))))
Your daughter is just Beautiful !!!! Thank you so much for sharing her with us. I really feel that you've inspired me to be a stronger person in many ways. I'm so very sorry for your great loss a year ago and I'm sure, everyday since. I do think of you and your daughter often and I will think of the both of you today, especially.
((((((((((((((((Loving Caring Hugs)))))))))))))))))))
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Anne Marie,
You and Kristen have a very special place in my heart. You both have touched me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me (and us)....you both have made me a better person. My thoughts are with you and I trust that HP will continue to allow your experience, strength, and wisdom be put to continued wonderful use. Holding you and your family in love and light - Donna
You and Kristen have a very special place in my heart. You both have touched me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me (and us)....you both have made me a better person. My thoughts are with you and I trust that HP will continue to allow your experience, strength, and wisdom be put to continued wonderful use. Holding you and your family in love and light - Donna
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