Just a thought

Old 07-10-2007, 12:06 PM
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Just a thought

I was trying to pinpoint my current state of mind. It just occurred to me that I feel as if I am in mourning. In a way, I am. I am not sure because I have lost m daughter that I knew. I know that she is not as bad as other addicts, and like grief, I find hope in the way of denial.
My largest fear is that she will eventually be relieved of all pain in this lifetime and we will all have to go through the hardest mourning.
Then, I stop and remind myself that I need to focus my thoughts on success for her, that change is possible, that she will wake up and realize what is important. I have studied metaphysics for years, and I know the affect of our thoughts. I need to God Bless her and I wish all of you a positive thought towards your struggling loved ones.

I have been reading many posts, and I appreciate the wisdom shared. Today I felt the need to also share.

Thank you
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Old 07-10-2007, 12:13 PM
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I'm glad you shared that, Irish, because I have had those same feelings. In a way we are mourning the loss of the child we knew, the loss of dreams for their future and the fact that we can really do nothing to save them, only they can do that.

But as bad as it's been with my son, I have never ever given up hope. I park my hope in a little place in my heart right next to faith. My candle of hope stays lit, even through the darkest nights.

Prayer helps me, and faith, and the love and support of everyone here and at meetings.

I'm glad you joined us and hope you will continue to walk with us as we travel the path of recovery.

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Old 07-10-2007, 12:25 PM
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My daughter, only child, is my addict. I understand mourning. Each day I wake up I have to remind myself that I only have to get through this today. Mom hugs to you, Marle
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Old 07-10-2007, 12:50 PM
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Welcome Irish, and thank you for sharing your message of hope.
Its a good reminder for us all.
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Old 07-10-2007, 01:02 PM
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I have lost hope and times--many times. It's hard to learn to take care of ourself, to Let Go and Let God. It goes against every part of me. I take comfort in 1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT "Love never gives up hope, never looses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through EVERY circumstance."

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Old 07-10-2007, 04:23 PM
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welcome to S.R..... i am glad you found us.i have the same feelings as you. i guess maybe we all do.i have turned my son over to my H.P. i know there is nothing i can do for him.i love him with all my heart but i could not do it any more.i needed to be happy, i needed a life other than pain & worry.i still have a lot of hope that one day he will see the light but i have no faith in him, only my H.P. that HE will see me through it. keep coming back there is alot of information here.i am saying a prayer for you & your daughter.
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Old 07-10-2007, 04:34 PM
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sometimes we try to think "as if" and just focus on faith + hope. but I have my sad days too. I mourn AS absence and I had to mourn and let go of the expectations
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Old 07-10-2007, 05:03 PM
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It is a parents greatest fear.
I went through years of that with my oldest son. I would stay up nights worried sick because he was homeless and chosing a lifestyle that I couldn't deal with.
I too was in mourning. Mourning the son I knew he really was, not the hopeless, homeless, scraggly addict he had allowed himself to become.

There were times where he would straighten out, then within a year, he'd be right back in the same old place, and I would go back into mourning.
Well, he didin't pass a pee test while on parole. So, he is now in jail. And, I must say, I sleep well at night now. I know he's off the streets, he's clean and he's being taken care of even if it has to be jail.

It's terrible how addiction destroys lives and hurts us who love the addict so much.
We do grieve.

You're so right about thinking of the success and being positive about the outcome in the end. It's what we need to do. We need some positivity in our lives and we might as well be the ones who make it.
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Old 07-10-2007, 07:11 PM
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I too am grieving for my daughter Funny, I went to my therapist today and we talked about this very thing. My daughter will be 21 on Monday. Therapist said it is good to grieve because that is getting my feelings out; that I have lost that daughter. As with every grieving process, there are stages that we go through. She said my grieving is not dominating my life and that my grieving days will get less and less as the months go by. But I will probably always grieve some, and that is OK. As long as we don't let it control our lifes. Hugs to you and to all here who are grieving. It is difficult, but I know we can get through this.
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:24 AM
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It is very hard when it is their birthday's--such a wonderful day full of memories. I bought myself 23 flowers on my daughters birthday!
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Old 07-11-2007, 05:36 PM
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Welcome to soberrecovery. Thanks for sharing. Hope you stick around and keep posting. We mourn together as one here.
Praying for you and your family.
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