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-   -   scared and frustrated (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/128135-scared-frustrated.html)

cristabel 07-09-2007 11:22 AM

scared and frustrated
 
Hi! I joined this group many months ago, but I haven't been back in a while. So I'm embarrassed to ask what I think I asked last year. Does anyone in your lives take Suboxone? My ah does, and when I think he is using again (Lortab, OxyContin, etc.) he always blames it on the Suboxone. I've tried to research Suboxone, and it seems a little confusing to me. But I just don't think that the Suboxone causes all of the behaviors/side effects that I observe. He sweats a lot; itches; is hyper until he sits or stands for a moment, then he instantly dozes off; his pupils are constricted; etc.

I don't truly know what he acted like when he was using drugs often--we met and married after he had been clean for about a year. I've been suspecting that he's using again for several months. Last week when we were around his family several of them told me that he was high, confirming my suspicions. He says we're all wrong, BUT adds that if we do notice anything, it's the Suboxone. We have separate bank accounts, so I can't see if there were several cash withdrawals during this period.

As I write this, though, I think I'm just in such denial myself that I don't want to believe it.

Any info or thoughts will be appreciated!

Guinevere 07-09-2007 11:41 AM

Cristabel,
Your words painted a picture of what I saw in my AS while he was on heroin. He graduated from perscription pain killers to H because it was cheaper, that was until he developed such a tolerance for it that he did it all the time. Research the symptoms of use and withdrawl from Lortab and Oxys, you will find the symptoms you describe.

I cannot tell you about Suboxone. I wish you well in your search for information and for the truth.

Take care of yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

tropikgal2 07-09-2007 11:44 AM

Yes, I hate to say it but I agree with Guinevere. Sounds like heroin to me. I hope you can find the truth and take the steps to protect yourself financially, mentally and physically.
((HUGS))

parentrecovers 07-09-2007 11:45 AM

sending encourgement. i don't have any experience with your subject, but i do understand how difficult living with addiction is. blessings, and keep posting - k

maddie82 07-09-2007 12:04 PM

I'm so sorry you're going through this-I know how terrible the uncertainty can be. I hate to use absolutes here, but that is not the work of suboxone. I saw mine on suboxone and heroin/oxycontin. I've also done a lot of research on the subject and talked to doctors. What you describe sounds picture perfect like heroin. The sweating, itching, and nodding off are big giveaways...trust me, suboxone does not do those things, no matter what he says.

greeteachday 07-09-2007 12:11 PM

My daughter detoxed off heroin with suboxone for a couple of weeks...The symptoms you describe unfortunately are ones I saw when she was snorting heroin...not when she was on sub. The only symptom I saw on sub when she first was prescribed it was that she was very energized...almost euphoric until the proper dosage was reached. I know she used when she was almost weaned off...I saw the same things you describe and she too, in her denial blamed it on the sub...Later of course she admitted the use...At some point it doesn't matter...if they keep using, it becomes painfully clear.

I'm glad you have separate accounts...please do all you can to protect yourself financially. Opiate addiction is ugly...One thing I was always very concerned about was the nods...so afraid that someone would be killed if she drove after using.

Have you tried any Narnaon or Alanon meetings? I found the face to face support so helpful.

marle 07-09-2007 12:35 PM

My daughter used oxycontin. She had the same symptoms as you described. Unfortunately oxy is expensive so she graduated to heroin. Suboxone should not cause those symptoms. Suboxone helps with the cravings, blocks the effects of the drug if they do use and allows the addict to work recovery, but only if they really want it. Sounds like he is using an opiate. Sorry. Hugs, Marle

envision 07-09-2007 12:56 PM

I really know nothing about the subject but I wanted to say hi and I hope things work out for you.

hope213 07-09-2007 01:04 PM

do not be embarrassed to ask anything here.just come be with us.there is alot of info here & a lot of recovery for you.keep coming back........prayers,

cristabel 07-09-2007 02:33 PM

Thanks to all of you who replied. I guess I know the truth in my heart, but I need confirmation from someone, especially those who are and have been in similar situations. When I confront him about the drugs he always has such convincing arguments that sometimes it's hard to really stand my ground. I'm not quite sure how to talk to him about it all. The only time he ever admitted it was when there was a large amount of cash unaccounted for--he admitted it then. That was almost a year ago. He hasn't admitted to any of it since then. I think he's probably been spending a few hundred dollars here and there. We don't have children, and our actual living expenses (rent, etc.) are low, so he has a lot of cash to play with and sort of lie about to me with excuses that sound plausible.

I've never gone to Alanon or Nar Anon meetings. I don't think there are NarAnon meetings in my town, but I think now I'll go to Alanon. Plus, I feel in some way better now that his mother, sister, and other family members have seen him high in the past week. I need to talk to them more--I just don't know what to do really.

marle 07-09-2007 03:05 PM

What I have noticed with my daughter is that she did admit to her drug use readily at the beginning of her addiction. As her addiction progressed so did her ability to lie and hide it. She denied her everyday use of vicodin and oxy for almost 7 months. I, like you, knew that she was using but she denied it vehemently. Finally admitted that she had a problem. She did that because she wanted me to bail her out, not because she actually wanted help. So because he has been honest in the past does not mean he will be now. His addiction has progressed and he wants to protect it at all costs. Taking care of yourself and protecting your finances is about the only thing you can do now. Denying the obvious only keeps you stuck. Hugs, Marle

rahsue 07-09-2007 03:32 PM

my ras is on suboxone (about 6 months now) there are no side effects on suboxone other than his pupils a alittle smaller but not pin holes like when he was shooting heroin. he doesn't fall asleep, he doesn't sweat, he's not hyper. suboxone is like taking an asprin, no side effects. (he takes one a day)

bookmiser 07-09-2007 03:57 PM

((((((Cristabel)))))))

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2.../th29cfre2.jpg

Sounds like heroin to me, too. I'm sorry.
Sending prayers up for you and your husband.
Linda

ladyjane 07-09-2007 04:57 PM

My ad would itch and sweat like that when she used oxys and loritabs and also methadone. She would also be very flushed. She would really use alot. I'm so sorry.
____________
Trish

maddie82 07-09-2007 05:38 PM

I just wanted to wish you good luck with everything and tell you that I know how hard this must be for you. It was only 3 or 4 months ago that I was going through the same thing with my Abf. I wish I had some great advice to give you. He probably won't admit to his use until he has no other choice-I hope you continue to talk to his family about this because the more people that know, the harder it will be for him to continue denying. He may be in denial but you don't have to be. Please be careful and watch out for yourself, I think most addicts get a lot worse before they get better. Just keep you eyes open

helpus 07-09-2007 06:46 PM

Yes, ditto to the above...Herion. Listen to your gut, it is usually right. (((Cristabel)))

Lobo 07-09-2007 09:17 PM

Ditto to the above too......heroin. Usually if you think it is......it is.
Sorry that the truth hurts but it will all come to a head sooner or later. Take care of yourself and watch where the money goes.

Keeping you and your husband in prayer.........Lo

Hangin' In 07-09-2007 09:18 PM

You said you don't know what to do now. I'd like to recommend finding that Al Anon meeting near you and go. And go at least 6 times before you decide it's not for you, even if you think you aren't hearing anything that helps. If you sit there long enough, you'll hear someone tell their story and it will be almost identical to yours.

And then you can watch and see these people who have been attending these meetings and see they are making it in this world of addiction. I know that happened for me. I saw people who were enjoying life despite the disease of addiction in their lives. And I wanted what they had, so I went back again, and again, and again.

Today I wouldn't give up those meetings for the world. They have helped me that much.

Prayers for you and your husband.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

ladyamalthea 07-09-2007 10:44 PM

My sister used suboxone for awhile and there were little to no side effects. As others have said, though, heroin will cause every one of those symptoms and I have seen them in my sister.

*hugs*

cristabel 07-10-2007 08:02 AM

Last night I talked to my father-in-law about ah's problems. He had tried to talk to my husband yesterday about his drug use, but my husband became angry and hung up the phone. I feel better having talked to him about this--it feels so much better to not be alone, no matter what happens. I also looked at his bank statement, which happened to arrive last night. The statement of course showed large cash withdrawals.

My husband keeps saying something to me that I don't know is true or not. He says that if he were using he would be doing it all the time, not just a few times a month (that's when I notice, a couple of times a month). Have you all experienced that? That they can only use a few days a month?

Thanks again for all of your advice and well wishes. I'm planning to go to an Alanon meeting tomorrow night, and until then, just try to take each day as it comes.


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