she's staying clean and sober, but....

Old 07-09-2007, 11:41 AM
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let it grow!
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she's staying clean and sober, but....

after about 2 weeks homeless, we allowed our daughter back home. she had gotten herself on a waiting list for another halfway, and was staying clean/sober. the past few weeks have gone well - no curfew problems, staying clean/sober, respectful around house, going to aa/private counseling/family counseling.

after last relapse, she lost job for good. she's been broke, but we got her a train pass and have been buying food for at home etc.

yesterday - $20 comes up missing in my husband's wallet. (i've been hiding my purse, but he's just been keeping track.)

she denied taking it.

the trust is broken again. we are going to have to ask her to leave.

ugh. k
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Old 07-09-2007, 11:43 AM
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Hate it for ya'll, k.

the disease just never goes away


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Old 07-09-2007, 12:10 PM
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crap, it starts with the little things, doesn't it? Did you ask her about it? Does she come clean? If not, she probably is lying about other things. sorry this is happening.
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:18 PM
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Damn K...just when you start to get comfy...
All is not lost, because I do believe that any day, hour, minute sober is not lost.
Prayers that she has heard whats she's been told these last few weeks.
She has the tools K
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:35 PM
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I'm so sorry...I know that horrible just stinks....stinks, stinks stinks. The time I felt the worst...just so violated, was when i was hiding my purse and other valuables...always looking and wondering if anything was missing. I just couldn't imagine being in such a situation...amazing what addiction does to the children we know would always give...not take...

You know that you can't control what happens next, but that waiting for the other shoe to drop sensation is so stressful. I'm praying that this is iscolated and that she keeps working recovery...Praying also for your serenity during this difficult time. Hugs and prayers for all of you.
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:54 PM
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let it grow!
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krhea - my husband asked her about it, and she denied it. we have a family counsel appt this eve - it will be a topic discussed. we're trying to work with her in recovery, but she just makes it so difficult.
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:02 PM
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Parentcovers..........I'm in it with you right now. It is just so damn frustrating. Just when we get a little bit of hope, relief and comfort, something comes along to destroy that. And the beat goes on and on and on.

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Old 07-09-2007, 01:56 PM
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Goodness K
Isnt It Awful, Prayers For All 3 Of You
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:00 PM
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(((((parents)))) hopefully she will continue with her recovery & get in the halfway house.sorry about this, you all have my prayers.
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:01 PM
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You can never get comfortable as long as the addict is around. My as has been home and clean for 2 months now. And so far so good. Nothing has been missing. But I'm still on my guard. When I'm writing checks to pay bills, if a check is missing I immediately start to get heart palpations, thinking it must be him. So I calm myself down, and then realize I wrote one out of order or something stupid like that. Same thing with my money. I'm constantly counting it. It's ridiculous, but sad. That feeling may never go away. I feel for you and your husband. Hopefully, this was an isolated incident and they will eventually get fewer and stop. You are in my prayers.
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:32 PM
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((( K ))) I am so sorry for the disapointment. I believe with each attempt at recovery, something is learned. Even if they truley don't "want it" yet, I believe they get something tangible out of the effort. The fact that she is going to counseling at least says some part of her wants her life back.
I'm sure it will be hard for you when you ask her to leave. I did the same thing to my daughter as well. A big part of recovery is being accountable for your actions, & if your daughter has taken $ from your husband, then she needs a consequence.

I am holding your family in my prayers.
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:38 PM
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I'm sorry K. Big hugs
Old 07-09-2007, 05:50 PM
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Just sending some hugs your way. Marle
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:51 PM
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So sorry K. KIDS who needs 'em?!!! With 2 addict children in my life and an 18 year old that thinks she's grown, I'm ready to move to Siberia.
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Old 07-09-2007, 08:08 PM
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It's just not fair that after trying so hard for 2 weeks she should take a step back.
I hope things work out for you all.
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Old 07-09-2007, 08:12 PM
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Just sending hugs your way. Praying as said before me that a lesson is learned each time they take a step back. Don't give up hope! Never ever!
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Old 07-09-2007, 08:13 PM
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Ugh, I hate that feeling. First surprise, then after counting again 10 times that sinking feeling deep in our soul. We know, whether they admit it or not, we know.

I'm really sorry because I know how much this hurts.

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Old 07-09-2007, 08:59 PM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this again...and I'll never forget that pain. It sure stinks. Let's all hope that it's just a slip and brings her closer to where she needs to be right now.
prayers and hugs,
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Old 07-09-2007, 09:53 PM
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Some of us have been there. Start to get our hopes us and....BAM...there they go again. The thing about having no expectations (that I learned in my Al Anon meetings) was where I had to get to. That way, I wasn't disappointed when things didn't go the way I expected. Of course, it took me a while to get to that point. And to this day, I can find myself slipping, just like the addict, if I'm not careful.

Praying this is just a tiny bump in the road and that she'll staighten up her course and head in the right direction....toward rehab!

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Old 07-09-2007, 10:03 PM
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How'd the counseling session go? Hope you had good communication.
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