some questions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: emmaus pa
Posts: 4
some questions
Hi! I'm new here. My twin 25-year-old daughters are currently in recovery from heroin addiction. They live at home and are attending outpatient rehab once a week.
When they were in active addiction, my husband and I did not evict them, as we were advised to do (mostly his decision, not mine) Now that they seem OK, I still worry when they look strange, sleep late, etc. I'd like to have some plan of action if and when they relapse. It seems unreasonable to kick them out after one relapse when we didn't do that when they were fully active.
One of them now has a job, and the other is seeking employment after a long recuperation from a bone surgery. I have some drug tests, but they're of no use if I can't take some action should they come up positive.
Any suggestions about how to handle it?
Naomi
When they were in active addiction, my husband and I did not evict them, as we were advised to do (mostly his decision, not mine) Now that they seem OK, I still worry when they look strange, sleep late, etc. I'd like to have some plan of action if and when they relapse. It seems unreasonable to kick them out after one relapse when we didn't do that when they were fully active.
One of them now has a job, and the other is seeking employment after a long recuperation from a bone surgery. I have some drug tests, but they're of no use if I can't take some action should they come up positive.
Any suggestions about how to handle it?
Naomi
President
Join Date: May 2006
Location: on our next big adventure!
Posts: 1,253
Just wanted to say, Welcome to SR!!!!
I'm sooo sorry that you're going through this! For me, it meant setting boundaries that I was okay with following through on. If you're not prepared to throw them out after one use, then maybe it means that you need to sit down and really ask yourself what you're willing to accept into your life!
Much love and hugs!
I'm sooo sorry that you're going through this! For me, it meant setting boundaries that I was okay with following through on. If you're not prepared to throw them out after one use, then maybe it means that you need to sit down and really ask yourself what you're willing to accept into your life!
Much love and hugs!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome....
here we try to do the hands off the addict.we all love our children very much but we have to let them hit there bottom.i am glad your girls are clean today.you can not make them stay clean but you can set boundries for them to live by in your home.you can not give them an inch when it comes to drugs.it is your house, your rules.if they r going to use they will no matter what you do or don't do.when you set your rules,boundries be prepared to follow through.saying prayers for you, your husband & your girls,hope
here we try to do the hands off the addict.we all love our children very much but we have to let them hit there bottom.i am glad your girls are clean today.you can not make them stay clean but you can set boundries for them to live by in your home.you can not give them an inch when it comes to drugs.it is your house, your rules.if they r going to use they will no matter what you do or don't do.when you set your rules,boundries be prepared to follow through.saying prayers for you, your husband & your girls,hope
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
hi and welcome, I'm the mother of a 22yr old heroin addict.
I know exactly where your coming from. I too do not believe in evicting my son if he relapses. I can see my son trying his best to stay clean, although I may not agree with some of his choices for recovery, it is in fact his recovery so I let him do what he needs to do. If your daughters are trying and as mothers I think we can see if they are trying or just bull----- us (well I sure hope so anyway) then I say support goes along way. Its the defiance in addicts that require eviction (just my opinion)
good luck
I know exactly where your coming from. I too do not believe in evicting my son if he relapses. I can see my son trying his best to stay clean, although I may not agree with some of his choices for recovery, it is in fact his recovery so I let him do what he needs to do. If your daughters are trying and as mothers I think we can see if they are trying or just bull----- us (well I sure hope so anyway) then I say support goes along way. Its the defiance in addicts that require eviction (just my opinion)
good luck
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
My rule was sober in my home. I did kick son out a few yrs. back. He doesn't do heroin now but drinks/pot/porno =still addict. But he does hold a job and pay his own way in apartment share, because my home is not an option. he found a codie girlfriend to be the responsible one and he just has to give her money ea. month for the bills. There is usually someone willing to take them on, but it can't be me when he has this lifestyle and is 23
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Nice to meet you!
Do you have a plan that you can sit down as a family and discuss?
Maybe a boundary line too.
I have an addict son who is in jail. I know the pain of children addicted, but twins?
You need a double blessing and a double portion of peace. I pray the girls will wake up and live a good, drug free life. Hopefully rehap will help them.
Do you have a plan that you can sit down as a family and discuss?
Maybe a boundary line too.
I have an addict son who is in jail. I know the pain of children addicted, but twins?
You need a double blessing and a double portion of peace. I pray the girls will wake up and live a good, drug free life. Hopefully rehap will help them.
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