Life After the Addict is Out, what is your PLAN?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Life After the Addict is Out, what is your PLAN?
OK.. here it has been almost 9 months since XABF has gone and at least 3 months since last contact. I don't hear from him any more and don't care if I ever do.
So, here I am today. No Addict in my life (tho I have been warned he may re-surface!). Life is good.
However, last night I had this dream.. I was in a car with his former GF, his current GF and him.. and we were talking about him and his cheating etc. (Weird dreams are my Forte! LOL). Anyway, the point was the Fromer GF didn't care any more, and I didn't care any more but we were trying to tell current Stars in Her Eyse GF that it would only be a matter of time before scumbag would cheat on her (and we would not let scumbag speak.. talk about control in a dream!
).
The point is that I woke up knowing that I was done looking back. It is now time to be walking the road w/o a backward glance at the whole thing with Steve. It is done in my heart, which is where things need to be done.
While I am busy with things.. they all have this interim feeling without any one of them being a focal point. I have a decent job and I like it, but I have always had something else that I have taken on as a focus for my energy (like going to school and pursuing engineering, or being a professional photographer etc.).
I woke up this morning knowing I need to start a second "career" and put a lot of effort and focus on it. I need to funnel my energy rather than throw it all around at various things. IOW the energy I was using looking back and the energy I was using doing all sorts of different things, needs to get regrouped and directed toward my future.
Right now I am training a dog, which is helpful and I think I am going to put sincere effort into professional photography again.. or perhpas painting which I am good at. I have even thought of finally sitting down and writing and seeing where that leads... tho I know there are those here who do write and y'all may have advice on that (and I am listening!).
My point is, today I woke up knowing I need to regroup my energy scatter into one non "day job" direction and pursue it with concentrated effort. I woke up this morning feeling free to do so.
So, here is the question for you:
If you have decided to move on from your Addict or to detach, what are you doing for your own future and for yourself with all that energy formerly funneled toward worrying, watching, waiting and expectations associated with the addict in your life. What healthy thing are you focusing on with all the energy you now have for YOU?
So, here I am today. No Addict in my life (tho I have been warned he may re-surface!). Life is good.
However, last night I had this dream.. I was in a car with his former GF, his current GF and him.. and we were talking about him and his cheating etc. (Weird dreams are my Forte! LOL). Anyway, the point was the Fromer GF didn't care any more, and I didn't care any more but we were trying to tell current Stars in Her Eyse GF that it would only be a matter of time before scumbag would cheat on her (and we would not let scumbag speak.. talk about control in a dream!
). The point is that I woke up knowing that I was done looking back. It is now time to be walking the road w/o a backward glance at the whole thing with Steve. It is done in my heart, which is where things need to be done.
While I am busy with things.. they all have this interim feeling without any one of them being a focal point. I have a decent job and I like it, but I have always had something else that I have taken on as a focus for my energy (like going to school and pursuing engineering, or being a professional photographer etc.).
I woke up this morning knowing I need to start a second "career" and put a lot of effort and focus on it. I need to funnel my energy rather than throw it all around at various things. IOW the energy I was using looking back and the energy I was using doing all sorts of different things, needs to get regrouped and directed toward my future.
Right now I am training a dog, which is helpful and I think I am going to put sincere effort into professional photography again.. or perhpas painting which I am good at. I have even thought of finally sitting down and writing and seeing where that leads... tho I know there are those here who do write and y'all may have advice on that (and I am listening!).
My point is, today I woke up knowing I need to regroup my energy scatter into one non "day job" direction and pursue it with concentrated effort. I woke up this morning feeling free to do so.
So, here is the question for you:
If you have decided to move on from your Addict or to detach, what are you doing for your own future and for yourself with all that energy formerly funneled toward worrying, watching, waiting and expectations associated with the addict in your life. What healthy thing are you focusing on with all the energy you now have for YOU?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Good topic, Elana.
I haven't heard from my son in almost 3 years. I pray for him every day and leave the rest between him and God.
My detachment was gradual, yet abrupt by my previous standards. It just got old, you know? Another relapse, more worry, more phone calls promising to get help but never doing it and I just reached an "enough" point where I knew I could not go one more round with this drama.
I went through a very dark period at that time, where I had to accept that my son may die in his disease and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it...lord knows I had tried everything I could think of. All that was left was to give him to God and ask for some peace in my life.
I prayed my way through the pain, and surrounded myself with support, and when I finally came out of it I found a new way of living. I learned to live in my recovery, to find happiness and beauty in every single day and to make a life for myself that did not have room for addiction or pain or fear anymore.
My life got better and continues to get more beautiful every day. I have interests that I love, like photography, I have a husband who also has found his way out of the darkness of fear and who shares my dreams and adventures and hopes for the future.
One day at a time, I continue to grow in my recovery. I still have some bad days but my bad days today are better than my best day in codependency. Today I am alive, healthy and filled with purpose, hope, dreams and most of all inner peace.
There IS life after recovery. There IS life that doesn't have to include the sadness of addiction. All I have to do today is show up and let life happen.
Hugs
I haven't heard from my son in almost 3 years. I pray for him every day and leave the rest between him and God.
My detachment was gradual, yet abrupt by my previous standards. It just got old, you know? Another relapse, more worry, more phone calls promising to get help but never doing it and I just reached an "enough" point where I knew I could not go one more round with this drama.
I went through a very dark period at that time, where I had to accept that my son may die in his disease and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it...lord knows I had tried everything I could think of. All that was left was to give him to God and ask for some peace in my life.
I prayed my way through the pain, and surrounded myself with support, and when I finally came out of it I found a new way of living. I learned to live in my recovery, to find happiness and beauty in every single day and to make a life for myself that did not have room for addiction or pain or fear anymore.
My life got better and continues to get more beautiful every day. I have interests that I love, like photography, I have a husband who also has found his way out of the darkness of fear and who shares my dreams and adventures and hopes for the future.
One day at a time, I continue to grow in my recovery. I still have some bad days but my bad days today are better than my best day in codependency. Today I am alive, healthy and filled with purpose, hope, dreams and most of all inner peace.
There IS life after recovery. There IS life that doesn't have to include the sadness of addiction. All I have to do today is show up and let life happen.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Elana...I felt so FREE, that I acted it out by traveling alot. That was the first two years.
It is time now for me to do some re-directing as well.
Please don't be offended....but you are such a loner, it occurs to me that you might investigate making people connections.
It is time now for me to do some re-directing as well.
Please don't be offended....but you are such a loner, it occurs to me that you might investigate making people connections.
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Hi Live!
I am not offended at all. You are not the first one to say I am a loner. Been hearing that all my life.
I have never felt alone. I have always had animals to share my life. Fact is, with Atka now I am never doing anything alone! My cats don't even let me take a shower alone! LOL
As I continue to pursue event photography I make people connections. Pursuing formalized dog training and (perhpas) competition I am making other people connections. I do what I need to and (of course) there are ppl at work and I work with some of the best people on earth (and I tell them so!).
I love what you said Ann about just showing up!
I am completely taken by the strength you have in your recovery.
I am not offended at all. You are not the first one to say I am a loner. Been hearing that all my life.
I have never felt alone. I have always had animals to share my life. Fact is, with Atka now I am never doing anything alone! My cats don't even let me take a shower alone! LOL
As I continue to pursue event photography I make people connections. Pursuing formalized dog training and (perhpas) competition I am making other people connections. I do what I need to and (of course) there are ppl at work and I work with some of the best people on earth (and I tell them so!).
I love what you said Ann about just showing up!
I am completely taken by the strength you have in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
Elana, you seem to be in the enviable position of having too many options! From reading your posts I have seen that you have a wide scope of experience and abilities. Something they always say is that a person should persue what they most enjoy. Something that you have always made time for in your life and enjoyed since childhood.
I'm not a writer per se, but I've always been a bookworm so I think I'm a pretty good judge of writers. I have noticed that you have a lot of descriptive imagery in your writing when you write about animals and nature. I think you would be good at that. If your avatar is an example of your photography, I think that would be a good choice as well. It seems like you should combine your love of animals with one of your other talents.
As for myself, I had already started going back to school part time shortly before I met the addict. Now that he is gone, I have more energy to put into that. Last semester was very demanding and I am so grateful that he was out of my place during that time! I never would have gotten the grades I did last semester if he was still in my life.
I will be doing an internship this fall at a place that counsels ex-felons and helps them with resources such as jobs, housing, treatment, etc. after they are released. The goal is to prevent recidivism. This is the final phase of the two year Human Services program that I am in. I have some college from when I was young, so I want to go on to get a four year degree. I plan to work as a probation officer or case manager of some type. I think I will have a better idea after the intership.
I want to of course make more $ than before, but I don't need so much $ to be happy. I want to have enough to travel more. I want to do work that is meaningful to me and that I feel makes a difference in the world. I have always worked with my hands, which I like, but I want to do something that works my brain, too. Plus I already have lower back pain and corpal tunnel from physical labor-(getting too old for that LOL).
I am moving to a different place this Fri. which will feel kind of like a new start for me because I lived with the addict here. I want to start doing more art work. That is something I have always been good at and I used to feel compelled to do it regularily. I want to get that back.
Another interesting thread Elana!
I'm not a writer per se, but I've always been a bookworm so I think I'm a pretty good judge of writers. I have noticed that you have a lot of descriptive imagery in your writing when you write about animals and nature. I think you would be good at that. If your avatar is an example of your photography, I think that would be a good choice as well. It seems like you should combine your love of animals with one of your other talents.
As for myself, I had already started going back to school part time shortly before I met the addict. Now that he is gone, I have more energy to put into that. Last semester was very demanding and I am so grateful that he was out of my place during that time! I never would have gotten the grades I did last semester if he was still in my life.
I will be doing an internship this fall at a place that counsels ex-felons and helps them with resources such as jobs, housing, treatment, etc. after they are released. The goal is to prevent recidivism. This is the final phase of the two year Human Services program that I am in. I have some college from when I was young, so I want to go on to get a four year degree. I plan to work as a probation officer or case manager of some type. I think I will have a better idea after the intership.
I want to of course make more $ than before, but I don't need so much $ to be happy. I want to have enough to travel more. I want to do work that is meaningful to me and that I feel makes a difference in the world. I have always worked with my hands, which I like, but I want to do something that works my brain, too. Plus I already have lower back pain and corpal tunnel from physical labor-(getting too old for that LOL).
I am moving to a different place this Fri. which will feel kind of like a new start for me because I lived with the addict here. I want to start doing more art work. That is something I have always been good at and I used to feel compelled to do it regularily. I want to get that back.
Another interesting thread Elana!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
My "detachment" as you know, came not by choice, although I was working on that. A year ago next Saturday I lost my daughter to the disease. I used many of the recovery tools I learned along the way and continue to learn, to walk through the pain. My older daughter had her issues with alcohol too, but most probably because hers were binging issues and because she got help before it progressed too far, I did not find myself sucked into the horrible chaos and pain that her sister's heroin addiction caused. She is doing very well and my recovery as well as hers has created an even closer bond between us than we ever had. That closeness doesn't mean we have to speak to each other all the time or be together...it is that connection that is there no matter what we do. I am truly blessed that I have her in my life. And blessed that she has a wonderful guy who is sharing her life with her too. I'm proud that she is working hard, has gone back to school and is busy fixing up their new home...especially proud that not one aspect of those things are ones I am finanically helping her with (yes I was once a big financial enabler)...they are all hers.
As for me, I have found my job more rewarding because I devote less time to it. I realized my addiction was work...It was how I immersed myself to avoid feeling pain. Fourteen hour days were often my norm and working from home nights and weekends was a part of my routine. I could not let go...I needed to control everything about the job. I also allowed my boss to suck me into his drama. He is kind hearted and a good person, but very negative and strong willed. I spent far too much time trying to talk him out of doing things that I thought might result in others judging him or in threatening his job. Far too much time permitting his views to impact my actions and reactions. No more...He's an adult, heck he's my boss...he can handle his "stuff" and sink or swim on his own. And I also learned to truly delegate, (I used to only delegate things that I wasn't concerned about not getting done!) to allow staff to grow by taking on new tasks and not micromanaging or doing for them.
Now I still give more than the 40 hours a week, but it is healthy...I get out of the office before 7 every day (my parking garage closes at 7 so an easy way for me to cut back was to set a rule that I would not move my car before the garage closed) and sometimes even before six. I don't beat myself up if I take work home and carry it back untouched the next day...I am not obsessed with work any more. And the crazy thing is, I am still accomplishing what I need to accomplish; I've even expanded some of my responsibilities at a national level and agreed to serve on two boards. As I write that, I suspect I still have work to do in learning to say no....that type of action can spiral and I can become overwhelmed if I don't truly consider that too much involvement can suck me back into a bad place.
I found I needed physical outlets to channel some of my grief, my emotions. I joined a gym with Kristen when she came home last year, and I have kept that membership up and really enjoy working out. I walk or run every day, weight train and plan hikes for the weekends...I'm keeping journals about the various trails I explore and taking lots of pictures of what I encounter. My husband and I have discovered we both love kayaking so we share that exploration together and have started working with a real nice guy to perfect some skills. I'll be hitting the big 5-0 the end of this month and I feel as if I am more physically fit than I have ever been in my life (and I'm not mortified of sleeveless tops anymore since my muscle has "definition" )...Feeling healthy and fit has helped me feel better about me too and I know the increased serotonin levels and the release of endorphins from the activity helps my mood. (I am mindful of the potential to become overly obsessed with exercise too...I definitely seek that "runners high" and when it kicks in I want to just keep going and going. Fortunately my old body sends me signals to keep me from taking it to the extreme, lol)
I also enjoy the spiritual connections I have found...meditation, writing, exploring some alternative approaches to generating posiitve energy. I do enjoy my Naranon home group...they are a bit different, less rigid in approach and most have reached a point where they are not fully immersed in addiciton. I'm not big on lots of close friendships, but I have found a few real connections with folks in that group. I have some ideas of things I want to pursue to help raise awareness of the need for increased treatment opportunities for addictions, better health coverage for inpatient treatment and more opportunities for indigent treatment. I decided to give myself the time I needed for emotional healing before exploring this beyond the idea phase. For me that healing seems to be about getting beyond each "first" ...the major holidays, birthdays, anniversary, etc. I do not mean that come next Saturday I will be "healed" but I have found that major events are huge triggers for me...particularly the anticipation and dread. Getting past it makes me realize I do have the strength to move forward.
I apologize...this has become so long, but it has helped me to see where I am, and to take an emotional inventory too, so to speak.
It has been a year of pain, growth and recovery. Thank you all for helping me along this journey. So many of you have walked beside me and truly been there with unfaltering love and support and you truly saved my life...I do believe that since at times I had no will to continue on. I don't want to name names....it really is a "we" process, but if you don't mind, I really want to say that DeeDee, I love you so, and I know that sharing your pain and hope and what you went through loosing Jason, helped me so to make it to where i am today.
As for me, I have found my job more rewarding because I devote less time to it. I realized my addiction was work...It was how I immersed myself to avoid feeling pain. Fourteen hour days were often my norm and working from home nights and weekends was a part of my routine. I could not let go...I needed to control everything about the job. I also allowed my boss to suck me into his drama. He is kind hearted and a good person, but very negative and strong willed. I spent far too much time trying to talk him out of doing things that I thought might result in others judging him or in threatening his job. Far too much time permitting his views to impact my actions and reactions. No more...He's an adult, heck he's my boss...he can handle his "stuff" and sink or swim on his own. And I also learned to truly delegate, (I used to only delegate things that I wasn't concerned about not getting done!) to allow staff to grow by taking on new tasks and not micromanaging or doing for them.
Now I still give more than the 40 hours a week, but it is healthy...I get out of the office before 7 every day (my parking garage closes at 7 so an easy way for me to cut back was to set a rule that I would not move my car before the garage closed) and sometimes even before six. I don't beat myself up if I take work home and carry it back untouched the next day...I am not obsessed with work any more. And the crazy thing is, I am still accomplishing what I need to accomplish; I've even expanded some of my responsibilities at a national level and agreed to serve on two boards. As I write that, I suspect I still have work to do in learning to say no....that type of action can spiral and I can become overwhelmed if I don't truly consider that too much involvement can suck me back into a bad place.
I found I needed physical outlets to channel some of my grief, my emotions. I joined a gym with Kristen when she came home last year, and I have kept that membership up and really enjoy working out. I walk or run every day, weight train and plan hikes for the weekends...I'm keeping journals about the various trails I explore and taking lots of pictures of what I encounter. My husband and I have discovered we both love kayaking so we share that exploration together and have started working with a real nice guy to perfect some skills. I'll be hitting the big 5-0 the end of this month and I feel as if I am more physically fit than I have ever been in my life (and I'm not mortified of sleeveless tops anymore since my muscle has "definition"
)...Feeling healthy and fit has helped me feel better about me too and I know the increased serotonin levels and the release of endorphins from the activity helps my mood. (I am mindful of the potential to become overly obsessed with exercise too...I definitely seek that "runners high" and when it kicks in I want to just keep going and going. Fortunately my old body sends me signals to keep me from taking it to the extreme, lol) I also enjoy the spiritual connections I have found...meditation, writing, exploring some alternative approaches to generating posiitve energy. I do enjoy my Naranon home group...they are a bit different, less rigid in approach and most have reached a point where they are not fully immersed in addiciton. I'm not big on lots of close friendships, but I have found a few real connections with folks in that group. I have some ideas of things I want to pursue to help raise awareness of the need for increased treatment opportunities for addictions, better health coverage for inpatient treatment and more opportunities for indigent treatment. I decided to give myself the time I needed for emotional healing before exploring this beyond the idea phase. For me that healing seems to be about getting beyond each "first" ...the major holidays, birthdays, anniversary, etc. I do not mean that come next Saturday I will be "healed" but I have found that major events are huge triggers for me...particularly the anticipation and dread. Getting past it makes me realize I do have the strength to move forward.
I apologize...this has become so long, but it has helped me to see where I am, and to take an emotional inventory too, so to speak.
It has been a year of pain, growth and recovery. Thank you all for helping me along this journey. So many of you have walked beside me and truly been there with unfaltering love and support and you truly saved my life...I do believe that since at times I had no will to continue on. I don't want to name names....it really is a "we" process, but if you don't mind, I really want to say that DeeDee, I love you so, and I know that sharing your pain and hope and what you went through loosing Jason, helped me so to make it to where i am today.
Last edited by greeteachday; 07-04-2007 at 08:10 AM.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
(((greet)))
I love you too dear friend and feel like we're kindred spirits in many ways
When I landed here almost 6 years ago (wow!), it was my younger son's heroin addiction that had brought me to my knees. He was living on the streets, flirting with disaster, and I was frozen with fear. I was also filled with a mother's guilt, that I had failed him in some way, and I was hell-bent on saving him at the risk of losing myself. Fast forward thru a couple rehabs and two stints in jail, today he is clean from heroin, has a beautiful family, and is a hard worker and mostly responsible adult. Along the way, I laid down most of my guilt, loved the addict and hated the disease, and learned that his recovery was between him and his HP. And I prayed ... a lot. I loved him then as I love him now - unconditionally.
My older son, Jason, was an alcoholic, and I never dreamed he would be the one I would lose. His alcoholism progressed and he could be difficult to be around ... so I detached to the extreme. Then came the January night I received a 2 am phone call from the hospital, my son had been terribly injured in a car accident. His injuries weren't life-threatening, but they were life-changing. We brought him home and took care of him for 6 months and I am so incredibly grateful for this time together. We re-gained our closeness and once again, I was reminded to love the alcoholic, while hating the disease. Jason moved back to his place that July, with the help of his brother. His bone injuiries had healed to the extent they could, but it was his spirit that faltered ... into depression, isolation, and hopelessness ... and on 2/2/05, we lost him. I love and miss him every day.
After losing Jason, I wondered about my place here. My younger son was clean by then (thank you God) and I felt lost, shattered, and my faith, which had always sustained me, faltered. But it was what I had learned here that helped me survive both my younger son's addiction and my older son's death. Thank God I had laid down the guilt when I did or it would have surely consumed me. I've learned acceptance which has brought me to a place of peace today. I have tools that help me not only in my personal struggles, but in everyday life. So for me, the journey continues. Life is beautiful, there is joy again, and I am eternally grateful for this place, a miracle in itself, and all the beautiful souls who reach out to one another every single day.
love to all ~
deedee
I love you too dear friend and feel like we're kindred spirits in many ways
When I landed here almost 6 years ago (wow!), it was my younger son's heroin addiction that had brought me to my knees. He was living on the streets, flirting with disaster, and I was frozen with fear. I was also filled with a mother's guilt, that I had failed him in some way, and I was hell-bent on saving him at the risk of losing myself. Fast forward thru a couple rehabs and two stints in jail, today he is clean from heroin, has a beautiful family, and is a hard worker and mostly responsible adult. Along the way, I laid down most of my guilt, loved the addict and hated the disease, and learned that his recovery was between him and his HP. And I prayed ... a lot. I loved him then as I love him now - unconditionally.
My older son, Jason, was an alcoholic, and I never dreamed he would be the one I would lose. His alcoholism progressed and he could be difficult to be around ... so I detached to the extreme. Then came the January night I received a 2 am phone call from the hospital, my son had been terribly injured in a car accident. His injuries weren't life-threatening, but they were life-changing. We brought him home and took care of him for 6 months and I am so incredibly grateful for this time together. We re-gained our closeness and once again, I was reminded to love the alcoholic, while hating the disease. Jason moved back to his place that July, with the help of his brother. His bone injuiries had healed to the extent they could, but it was his spirit that faltered ... into depression, isolation, and hopelessness ... and on 2/2/05, we lost him. I love and miss him every day.
After losing Jason, I wondered about my place here. My younger son was clean by then (thank you God) and I felt lost, shattered, and my faith, which had always sustained me, faltered. But it was what I had learned here that helped me survive both my younger son's addiction and my older son's death. Thank God I had laid down the guilt when I did or it would have surely consumed me. I've learned acceptance which has brought me to a place of peace today. I have tools that help me not only in my personal struggles, but in everyday life. So for me, the journey continues. Life is beautiful, there is joy again, and I am eternally grateful for this place, a miracle in itself, and all the beautiful souls who reach out to one another every single day.
love to all ~
deedee
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Elana,
I channeled my energy into three things:
--starting my own small business, so I could be in control of my own destiny and my own income for the rest of my life
--learning more about myself, really KNOWING myself, so that I could fully understand why I was making the choices I was making. I read, and wrote, and continued therapy and groups, and took lots of notes!!
--getting physically healthy. During the time with my addict, I had allowed myself to drink too much, eat too much cr*p, not exercise at all (because he resented when I did) not get out in the fresh air, etc. When I refocused my energy on making myself healthy (I climbed a 14,000 foot mountain that year) I found that helped me to achieve a deep body-happiness that I'd never had
thanks for this thread!
GiveLove
I channeled my energy into three things:
--starting my own small business, so I could be in control of my own destiny and my own income for the rest of my life
--learning more about myself, really KNOWING myself, so that I could fully understand why I was making the choices I was making. I read, and wrote, and continued therapy and groups, and took lots of notes!!
--getting physically healthy. During the time with my addict, I had allowed myself to drink too much, eat too much cr*p, not exercise at all (because he resented when I did) not get out in the fresh air, etc. When I refocused my energy on making myself healthy (I climbed a 14,000 foot mountain that year) I found that helped me to achieve a deep body-happiness that I'd never had
thanks for this thread!
GiveLove
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Well, as I said, I made a decision to go back and seriously pursue part time professional photography. Start with weddings but then move beyond that to other venues such as livestock/horses on location portraiture etc.
I had already made a decision regarding health.. I have always been outdoors etc. and eaten healthy but I need to lose some pounds as I have bad knees from milking cows for too long. Every 5 pounds over my ideal weight makes a lot of stress on my knees.
And I am doing the dog training, so we will see where that goes.
For now that is enough to focus on along with my regular job, house, grounds work etc.
I had already made a decision regarding health.. I have always been outdoors etc. and eaten healthy but I need to lose some pounds as I have bad knees from milking cows for too long. Every 5 pounds over my ideal weight makes a lot of stress on my knees.
And I am doing the dog training, so we will see where that goes.
For now that is enough to focus on along with my regular job, house, grounds work etc.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: my hearts in NY i'm in FL
Posts: 112
I decided to go back to school and finish my degree in education.
i also work full time and have a part time job. I am working on paying off all my debt before i graduate.
as a graduation present to myself i plan to travel Around europe for a few weeks maybe even the summer before i start my first year at school. (Ah the best laid plans)
i wish i was more committed to working out as other are that is something that i need to put alittle more focus on...... Now where to squeeze it into my schedule....hummmm...... maybe between class or get an hour earlier.........
anywya there is always tommorrow
good luck with the photography. I wish i could remember that i actually packed my camera when i'm on vacation and i actually took the time out to take photos lol
i also work full time and have a part time job. I am working on paying off all my debt before i graduate.
as a graduation present to myself i plan to travel Around europe for a few weeks maybe even the summer before i start my first year at school. (Ah the best laid plans)
i wish i was more committed to working out as other are that is something that i need to put alittle more focus on...... Now where to squeeze it into my schedule....hummmm...... maybe between class or get an hour earlier.........
anywya there is always tommorrow
good luck with the photography. I wish i could remember that i actually packed my camera when i'm on vacation and i actually took the time out to take photos lol
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Oh Elana, things have only gotten better for me in my life after ex. There are the credit issues (that we talked about a while back. I am diligently working on that too)
But, I don't, as you say, funnel every ounce of energy into a dead relationship with a loser and an addict.
I love wandering around antique stores. I bought a bowl, and I painted it! I have just started painting again after nearly 2 years! What a JOY. Things I can now do for me because I am not tied to an addict.
Here's the pic of it. I love painting. Im not the best painter in the world, but it makes me happy to paint. Just like your pup makes you happy, training them is your joy.
We go through a few stages while in transition and when the transition is complete, we are FREE again to do what we love.
But, I don't, as you say, funnel every ounce of energy into a dead relationship with a loser and an addict.
I love wandering around antique stores. I bought a bowl, and I painted it! I have just started painting again after nearly 2 years! What a JOY. Things I can now do for me because I am not tied to an addict.
Here's the pic of it. I love painting. Im not the best painter in the world, but it makes me happy to paint. Just like your pup makes you happy, training them is your joy.
We go through a few stages while in transition and when the transition is complete, we are FREE again to do what we love.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Wow Wascally, that's beautiful!!!! What else do you like to paint? Are still lifes (lives?) your favorite?
( I like to decorate my house with things painted by people I love, so there's quite an eclectic mix on my walls )
GL
( I like to decorate my house with things painted by people I love, so there's quite an eclectic mix on my walls
)GL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
I have decided to go back to school
try to quit smoking ( still working up to that one)
focus on finding out what I enjoy.............I'm not artistic but I would love to try to learn to paint............or maybe photography.....gonna see if I can find some classes
been eating better and losing weight
trying to make myself get more active........
and be open to invitations
and telling myself everyday....no advise, no help, no interferring, no controlling
no expectations
try to quit smoking ( still working up to that one)
focus on finding out what I enjoy.............I'm not artistic but I would love to try to learn to paint............or maybe photography.....gonna see if I can find some classes
been eating better and losing weight
trying to make myself get more active........
and be open to invitations
and telling myself everyday....no advise, no help, no interferring, no controlling
no expectations
Bridge CLOSED
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Your painting, WW, is very well executed. I paint too.. won my first juried show at age 4. I could have likely been very very good, but I get bored sitting there dabbing paint on the canvas. My fahter and GrandFather were gifted artists.. but when I was 11 I saw my Dad burn his entire collection of work with such anger and hate on his face. He was bringing the work out of the basement and he almost knocked me down in his hurry to burn his work. He shoved me out of the way and when I asked him why he was doing it, he said, "Painting is stupid and a really stupid way to make any money." He was so hateful and angry and I was so trained to do whatever Daddy wanted that I turned from painting too. Fact is, I never "trusted" art again.
However, times change and I have some ideas. This winter I plan to do some more artwork.. this time to please ME and not some judge or my Father!
However, times change and I have some ideas. This winter I plan to do some more artwork.. this time to please ME and not some judge or my Father!
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Thank you all for the compliments! Gee, you all made me smile real big!
Elana, I know that artists are so very sensitive about their work. I have another artist friend who has been in the news paper several times, yet totally freaks out if there is one single negative word about her work. She'll go into depression for days!
Perhaps that was your dad's case. May be he was turned down for something and got inraged. I guess it is our best attempt, from the soul, at making art, only to have someone kick it in your face.
I just love to paint. It removes all sense of time, helps me focus on something other than all my problems.
Elana, I know that artists are so very sensitive about their work. I have another artist friend who has been in the news paper several times, yet totally freaks out if there is one single negative word about her work. She'll go into depression for days!
Perhaps that was your dad's case. May be he was turned down for something and got inraged. I guess it is our best attempt, from the soul, at making art, only to have someone kick it in your face.
I just love to paint. It removes all sense of time, helps me focus on something other than all my problems.
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