newblue82

My exAGF's mother called me at 2AM this morning to tell me that her daughter had thrown herself out of a moving vehicle and was now in the ER. Her mom said the doctor assured her that she hadn't suffered any fatal injuries, just a couple of broken bones. Of course, I'm relieved to hear that she's physically okay, but I'm not nearly as upset as I should be. . .I mean I guess I'm just tired and I'm more so irritated then anything. I haven't gone seen her in the hospital. I wonder if I should? I fear if I do I'll just start ranting at her for being a selfish idiot so it might be best to just stay away. Her mom, naturally, is wreck and I tried to clam her down as best I could because I know she's tired too. It's just a big ole' mess. I mean enough is enough. Anyway, am I wrong for feeling so numb about all this? I'm concerned because I'm not that upset and I wonder if I've suddenly become cold-hearted or perhaps this is just a natural consequence of having put up with so much already. I'll keep you posted. . .

GiveLove

This is natural, newblue.......it's the most natural thing in the world, for those of us who have been through YEARS of self-inflicted drama with addicts. My sister stuck a knife in her thigh one year, for dramatic effect, and I had the same reaction: "Sigh. Why does she have to do stupid things like that?" This is just more addict drama. Sorry you have to deal with it again.

She's not dying. She did this to herself. Send her a nice get-well card and leave it at that. Comfort her mom if you feel that's right and if you want to. Personally? I'd stay away from the hospital unless you want to get sucked right back into that miserable mess you've finally gotten yourself out of. Notice I'm not thinking so much of what it would do to HER if you're honest and all; I'm just concerned that YOU'd be letting yourself back into that psychotic world she lives in. You've worked so hard to normalize your life!!!

Love,
GiveLove

Elana

Perhaps you have truly moved on. I know that when everything from being committed to finally dying (yeah.. even that) happened with my X husband, I had little emotional response. I cried a little over his death and I find myself occaisionally having a sadness pass over me like a cloud breifly passing between me and the sun.. but I let it pass and go on. He died in October of 2004 and we had been divorced for 3 years.

Perhaps you are feeling not a lot because you are done with feeling so much for her and about her. Maybe you are detached and your life is your own.

Meanwhile, I will pray for her and her Mom and for you to find your footing in this mess.

hope213

it is the drama you have been through so many years.she is ok,she is not dying,she did this to her self.you are not cold but a different person.you have learned the lesson of letting go & letting your H.P. take over.there is nothing you can do. if her mom wants to talk,that is up to you.saying a prayer for her,her mom & you too.

Live

Newblue...I just met you recently, but what I have seen you have a warm heart and a strong conscience.

Look, I would even be totally annoyed at a 2am phone call, like...what can you do about it at that time of the night anyway? Or during the day, today or tomorrow.

So no, I think you have gained strength in detachment.

I guess I am the meanie...because if I get a call after hours, I answer with "It is 1 am in the morning!" And if that doesn't get it I ask if there is a fire dangerously nearby?

She is in the hospital in good care. Only you can decide if you want to expose yourself to the drama and stress. I personally would not.

Who knows it might sort of set a boundary?

bookmiser

((((((NewBlue)))))))

lol

Feelin' kinda detached lately, myself. It's not that we don't care. I know you care about her. It's just that, your right, enough is enough. I don't understand why they do the things they do. Is it for attention, a save-me technique?
I'd had it up to my eyeballs lately with my as. It's to the point now, if he doesn't call...no skin off my nose. Kind of a relief, actually.
I'm sorry your ex is still in addict behavior mode and that she went to a great length because of her pain. We all feel their pain, really. We just have to not show it.
I'm like a peeled friggin' onion lately. On my last layer of skin. Everytime he starts with the drama, it's like my skin actually starts to burn. I'm suggesting you keep your distance. For your own heart and sanity. It's easy to get sucked back in when they're hurting and vulnerable. Keep up the outta sight, outta mind philosophy.
Keep healing yourself, love.
Hugs,
Linda

newblue82

Thank you so much for your advice and support. I suppose I just don't understand how any one can get to such a low point in her life that she'd want to end it? Of course, I realize that if this was a true attempt at a successful suicide she would have chosen a more efficient means. Yes, it is an attention getter but I feel so sorry for her family especially her children. How could she do this to them? How could she be so selfish? What will it take for her to open her eyes or will she always choose destructive paths? It's a learning experience and I'm growing from it but it's that small humane part of me that still feels somewhat attached and concerned. I really appreciate you all sharing your own personal experiences such as mine. It's a real comfort.

Live

(((((hugs))))

It is fine to feel concerned and care for her and her family. so, you are not a sociopath...j/k LOL

Mybe re-read that sticky from Jon about what addicts do.?