ladyamalthea

My husband is friends with this guy, who I will call M for now. M used to remind me of Quagmire from the show Family Guy, if you guys are familiar with that. Basically, he used to change women like he changes underwear. Last summer, he started talking about wanting to settle down, etc etc, and last fall he found a gal who he has now been with since September. Sweet, sweet girl. I like her a lot. She's had her fair share of problems, but who hasn't?

She messaged me the other day, wanting to know if M has ever cheated on a girl. I was completely honest with her, laid it out basically the way I did in the above paragraph, but with a few more details about how much he seems to like her, blah blah blah. Like I said, I did not exaggerate or mislead about any part of it. We all got together over the weekend and had a blast.

I'm flattered that she wants to be friends, and I can always use a good friend, but she just told me that she told M about us talking and that M doesn't like it. I don't want to lose his friendship or cause a rift between he and my hubby, but at the same time, she really needs a friend.

Thoughts please?

Lovestoomuch

First of all. IMO, she should be asking M these questions she has and not you. No matter which way it goes it puts you right smack in the middle of a situation you don't need to be in. You can be friends with this woman. Just set some boundaries like you would with an addict. Just tell her under the circumstances you need to respect her and M's relationship and if she has any personal questions about M, she needs to ask him herself. Other than that.......talk about anything you like. Theres just some subjects that need to be kept in their own back yard.......Just my opinion of course.

cece1960

I agree with Loves...dangerous to get in the middle of that one.
It seems that when we step into those types of matters, regardless of what direction it takes, we are the bad guy.
And to be honest, its none of your business who he was, how he was or what he will be in the future.
Maybe she just wanted some reassurance. Maybe something has triggered her questions. If the latter is true...I'd steer WAY clear of that one.
(((Hugs)))
Cece

Ann

Something recovery has taught me....it's okay not to answer or to refuse to gossip.

I let my friends know that I will never lie to them, but that doesn't mean I will discuss any topic that is too personal or that involves gossip.

Silence is golden.

Hugs

Elana

Talking about other people, as opposed to the people themselves, is not a good thing.

If she is asking YOU then she is suspicious IMO. That is a place you should not go. She is going there for a reason.. her gut, her issues, whatever.

Being friends is great, but talking about other ppl is usually a bad thing because it never stops there.

I guess what I am saying is that a person who talks about someone else will likely also talk about YOU and that conversation and what you both had and what you said. Best to quietly close that door and discuss another subject.

Just my opinion and advice is worth what you pay!

teke

i agree with the others, try to steer clear of those conversations, they usually lead to more of the same so beware. jmho. seeping you and your in my prayers

nevergivingup

I find myself in the middle of those situations all the time, but usually with friends or coworkers or clients. I've adopted the, "I'm not sure" method of dealing with it. Whenever they ask me something, I just respond, "I'm not sure, you should talk to ____." <-- the person they're asking about! Prevents me from having to say anything that may cause problems in the future!