mistydawn_2001

i was wondering about oxys my boyfriend does them but i cant find that much info online does it make some people violent? does it get worse over time or could somone just stay using the same amount? how do i tell if he is doing more then he tells me. I love him i hope it can work but dont know that much right now about the drug. thank you for reading this and thank you if could help me with any of theese questions. Misty Dawn

marle

Oxycontin is an opiate and if you google opiates you will find the info you need. When someone is craving opiates they get really moody. People abusing oxy can swallow them or crush them and snort them or chew them. Some addicts even inject them. Oxys are very powerful and easily addicting. My daughter started on oxycontin and then graduated to heroin. When an opiate addict tries to quit they get very, very sick, like a bad case of the flu. If your boyfriend is using them and he is addicted to them, it is very difficult to quit. And his usage will just continue to increase. They are expensive. My daughter and her boyfriend spent about $6000 on oxys in a very short period of time. I hope that you find the info that you need. Opiate addiction is one nasty addiction. Marle

cmc

Hi misty,
I can't give you specific information on how a drug will affect someone. It would be foolish to try and predict or rule out any type of violent behavior of someone under the influence. Driving a car while high is violent enough without the addict actually trying to harm someone, don't you think?

I can tell you that drug addiction is a progressive disease.

The problem is not the particular drug, but the fact that a person is addicted.
I hope you will read the threads marked 'sticky' at the top of the page for some good information on this disease.

I also hope you will try some Alanon and/or Naranon meetings for yourself.

duet_4-8

Hi Misty,

Welcome to SR. I will try to answer your questions as best I can.

My ex husband is addicted to opiates, including oxycontin. He was abusive to me and our kids, but he was that way all the time. I do think that drugs lower inhibitions and for some people, violence is a possiblity. Are you asking that because your bf is violent towards you or others?

Opiate users develop a tolerance to the drugs, and they will increase the amount they take. They have to if they want to get the same 'buzz'. You might also watch for signs of him snorting them. My ex started snorting them in order to get off faster.

One thing you can bet your life on: if your bf has a drug abuse problem (aka addiction), it WILL get worse. It will not just go away, or simply stay the same. Is there a legitimate reason medically that he is taking oxy or is he just doing it to get high? If the answer is to get high, then he is likely already addicted. Oxy is a very addictive drug.

From my experience, and from the many posts I have read here, I can promise you that he is most likely doing more oxy than he is telling you. That's just the way it usually works..what we know about it just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

You say you love him and I'm sure you do. But you need to be educated on what you are getting yourself into. Addiction destroys not only the addict but also the people who love him or her. Read around on this board, and you will quickly see what I am talking about.

You can do nothing to change him; you cannot control his drug use. Don't try, because it cannot be done by anyone but him. The only person you can control is yourself. Find out as much as you can about addiction and make an educated decision about whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with an addict.

If he is an addict, he will always be one. He may find recovery, many do. But he will be an addict forever.

notsleepingwell

Hi, Welcome to SR!!!

My daughter was prescribed oxy's for back pain. I've heard within 72 hours of being on that drug you are addicted. She progressed to injecting, and then became a down and out heroin addict.

She tells me when she does not have the drug, she becomes "drug sick"...her bones ache, she starts vomiting, abdominal cramping...on and on, and so immediately begins looking for the next fix to avoid that sickness. That explained for me the frantic searching for the next fix. I could never wrap my mind around that desperate search.

She lost her job, (she was an RN), she lost her son, (I am now raising him), she became homeless, a prostitute...just a down and out junkie!!!

We are now taking baby steps to recovery and each day is a blessing to have her still in my world.

You need to read the sticky's on the top of the forums. There is nothing you can do to help him, 1st of all, he has to recognize that he is an addict, and sometimes they are flat out in denial about that. My daughter was injecting for a year before I even saw signs of it. They are very good at hiding the signs. Looking back...there were some signs I never knew

1. Sleeping a lot
2. Never enough money for bills
3. No interest in friends or family
4. Phone getting disconnected
5. At the end ....rapid weight loss

there were others I'm sure...just know...they will deny at all costs, because either they are in denial, or are ashamed of the fact they are addicted...

Others will be along shortly to welcome you

NSW

rahsue

go to oxyabusekills.com it will tell you all you need to know

forgottenchild

((hugs)) i know that oxy does make my brother violent. when he's high he's fine, but the withdrawls that he gets make him very, very violent. he's broken things, gotten into fistfights with my other brother, etc. it is certainly a drug that takes control and demands greater amounts. my brother started out with about 80 mg a day that he was prescribed, and when he went into rehab the first time he was snorting 360 mg 3 or more times a day. i don't know how you can tell how much he's using, but please trust your gut instincts and take care of yourself.

kj0975

I think oxycodone is generic for percocet but I cant remember...... The w/d's only last about 4-5 days the worst the hard part to quit is wrapping your mind around that 4-5days of NO sleep No food and living on the toilet w/d's are NOT fun and not easy to live through especially knowing that u can stop it at anytime with a pill or a shot they suck infact your blood pressure rises panic attacks its kinda like a living nightmare. Then u have months of NO sleep cause u have to wait for your brain to reset itself I know I'm in the wrong forum for this but its hell on earth it can be done and will be done by those who can fight it in my knowledge and mine only the cravings last about 7-8min and they are LONG min if u can find something to do in those min u will be ok if u cant well then..... it happens relapse happens....... I hope everything works out for your and your family.

As much as u hate addiction us addicts hate ourselves.....

marle

There is not always weight loss on oxycontin. That one had me fooled. My daughter actually gained 30 pounds. She told me that food tastes really good. She doesn't eat only when she is jonesing for the drug. When she is high she eats all the time. When she needs the next fix, she becomes very restless, runny nose, chills or sweating. Another thing when they are high, is the itching. Another thing to look for is nodding. That is when they are sitting and they just start to fall asleep. The bottom lip goes slack. My daughter used to tell me that she was very tired, but the nod is different than just regular falling asleep. Also their pupils will be really small, even in sunlight. Marle

tropikgal2

Marle, not to correct you but pupils are SUPPOSED to be small in sunlight and large in darkness, like the lens of a camera,--to control the amount of light that gets in. The only time this isn't true (when the subject isn't on drugs) is when the person is very frightened.
You can observe this is animals of prey too: when a cat is on the hunt their pupils get big to let in more light so they can detect the prey's movement more easily.

marle

Sorry for the confusion. What I meant to say was small in darkness. Thanks for the correction, Tropikgal. Marle

mistydawn_2001

thank you very much for your help i'm going to look around online somemore. right now he is going though a bad time he is brok he got 1500 $'s from school(we go to a electricity class togather thats how we met) he told me first about the weed. then said he was trying to quit the oxys. he has spent alot of money on drugs he says hes addicted and wants to quit but i told him about this site and he said he didnt want to quit. he isnt violent but when hes sober it is a little scary i dont seem to know him, sober. I told him i couldnt come over tonight and he got mad so my mom said shed wacth my daughter so i can go over. I guess we will have to talk but i am kinda nervous about bringing stuff up. I worry about his kids they live with him and his mom their mom is in prison they are very sweet, but the drugs seem to be more im portant. thank you guys agian i'll write more later about how it goes. I can go anon? meetings but the have to be weekends or days i go to school every weekday evening. thanks agian misty dawn

Spiritual Seeker

Why are you getting involved with an addict that has no money, lives with his mom and has kids that he puts through this? You have a daughter and this is not something to get involved with or try to figure out. You know he is an addict so some bell or whistle should be telling you that this is not someone that is BF material.\Instead of tryng to figure out his drug use, spend the time figuring out why you are attracted to this type of a man.

mistydawn_2001

I know it sounds bad that I am with someone that is addicted to drugs and has other problems but I care about him and he seems so great like before in my relatinships I could never be myself, I grew up being put down for being so emotinl in my marriage i was on differnt meddicines for depression and anxiety. I ussed to drink alot but now I dont and havnt for awhile I am more in contorl of my self but its really nice to have a boyfriend who can understand when I'm having a bad day and not put me down , he talks to me and makes me feel better about myself. I guess in someway i can understand the addiction just not the way the drugs work. I have hope for him I mean I finnially figured out that I have to make my own life good I am going to school and have plans. I dont want to break up with him hes not a bad guy , but i dont want to defend what he does its bad , and his kids deserve at least on parent who cares enough to straighten up but I would never put my daughter in a bad situation . It's just really confusing. I do get very worried and told him we cant move in with each other or anything while hes on drugs. i guess he does 40s and he snorts tehm but i wish i could tell when hes high. thank you agian misty dawn

Spiritual Seeker

That's fantastic that you are in school to learn a career and make a better life for you and your daughter. You say you want to make your life good. That includes making friends and relationships that are not addicts. This is an area where you can't trust your choices right now. Concentrate on your child + school. Let some time go by to mature in the BF department as this is a relationship that you are bound to regret. Really THINK about this.

raerae6

Misty, If you have ever listened to anyone in your life, listen to these people here!!

I had just started going back to school again when I met 'D'. he was so fun and he DID have some good qualities. He did say wonderful things to me and was so excited for me when I got A's on tests and papers. He also made me feel good about myself, at first, anyway.

But, BUT....then he started to do crack. He had a history of it before I met him. I have known addicts and ex-addicts, but i had never lived with one before. I didn't know what I was in for. I didn't realize what I had gotten myself into before it was too late!

Life gradually spiralled downward. I still did alright in school, but i would have done better without the distraction of an addict in my life.

My work at my job suffered as well. I tried so hard to help him, I got my hopes up every time he said he was going to quit, and every time he went to rehab. I felt so sorry for him, I just knew he was not a bad person inside. He had a child too. I thought he would get sober for his kid because he loves her so much. He didn't.

Addicts get worse. You have no way of knowing if he will ever quit. The odds are slim. The best treatment centers in the world have a success rate of 11%. I put so much energy into trying to help him. Nothing worked. Eventually he stole from me, became abusive when he was coming off drugs, lied to me constantly...

Read through these threads on here, no matter what the drug is, the experience of people having relationships with addicts is pretty much all the same!!!! Your relationship will NOT be the exception.

It sounds like you have your life together pretty well.

Don't ruin it now! There are plenty of other guys out there who will understand you and who aren't on drugs.

Misty, this is your big sister talking to you...

Save yourself the heartbreak. Do not go there with him!

RUN RUN RUN from this guy!!!!!!!!!!!

maddie82

Misty dawn, if I had found this board 2 years ago when I was still in your situation, things may be a lot different for me right now (although I don't know if I would have listened to anyone at that point). Please try and listen to what everyone is saying to you here. I felt the same way you do now and trust me, it's going to get worse. Oxycontin leads to heroin because it's cheaper and even if it doesn't, it's only going to lead to more oxycontin abuse. You said you wouldn't move in with him while he was doing drugs...I said the same thing, and only moved in with him after I thought he had stopped. Little did I know it was only getting worse every day. It took me months to really be able to tell when my ABF was high (he's just tired, or a little buzzed, he smoked a little pot...) and by the time I knew how bad it was we had already been living together for 6 months and my life had turned into a nightmare. I know it may seem pushy to give advice (especially when I'm still so new to recovery) but don't move in with this guy, even if you think he's stopped because most likely he hasn't he's just learned to hide better. There is nothing harmless or ok about occasionally sniffing oxys-just take care of yourself.

Guinevere

Misty Dawn, I am the mother of a AS who did every painkiller in the book before moving on to injecting heroin. He progressed in his addiction and through these drugs very swiftly. Even though I want him to have a significant relationship with a woman at some point in his life. I know that no woman deserves to share his burden of addiction.

While in a family and parent program at the treatment center, the counselors took participants through an activity to show that, as codependents, we suffered in many of the same areas of life that our addicts did, for example socially, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. Our symptoms were similar to theirs.

You deserve better than a life with an oxy addict. He may be charming and attentive, but his true love is his drug of choice. Read all you can to familiarize yourself with addiction, but also read about codependence.

I pray that you will love yourself enough to spare yourself of this painful experience.

G

forgottenchild

if he's like my brother then you can tell when he's high because he's the sweetest, nicest, most genial person in the world to be around. he's feeling good and he's on top of the world.

faithhopelovejr

(when he's high)
He will promise you the world on a silver platter, but eventually won't even be able to afford a paper plate!

(when he's not high)
Mean, nasty, on edge, nervous.