As Calld From Oxford House
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Lake, I haven't been on here for while and I am so glad to hear your son made it to Oxford House. I have to say I agree with the above. Where I live I have Verizon for my house phone and I have anywhere and anytime calling for one low fee. I remember getting those collect calls from my daughter and I was shocked at the bill. Now I can receive those calls without the shocking bill. I think whether you
make it easy for him or not he will find a way to communicate to agf if that is what he wants to do. Just don't make it easy for him. I don't know anything about Oxford House, but I was wondering if you could call there to check on him from time to time.
Good luck, do what feels right to you and Mrs. Lake.
Lo
make it easy for him or not he will find a way to communicate to agf if that is what he wants to do. Just don't make it easy for him. I don't know anything about Oxford House, but I was wondering if you could call there to check on him from time to time.
Good luck, do what feels right to you and Mrs. Lake.
Lo
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
I know I've already responded, but I'm just such an expert in the area of screwing up with the cellphone that I have to add something here... 
I remember AD was the point of losing her cellphone (of course she didn't tell me that. I had the pleasure of speaking with the cell phone company when her bill was way past due and MY NAME was on the account.) Thank goodness I had been to Al Anon and this board!
She used the ole, "But mama, I won't be able to call you. We won't be able to talk."
I responded, "Yes, I guess we just won't be able to talk."
"But Mama, I'm all the way out here in Mississippi."
"Yeah honey, I really hate that. Well, have to run. Collette (poodle) needs to go out."
Amazing, JUST AMAZING...somehow AD figured out how to get her cell phone turned back on. It's called ... BEING RESPONSIBLE AND WORKING TO PAY HER OWN BILL. And me thinks she learned that mama wasn't buying into being manipulated any more. Oh, how I love it!
I was slow at catching on, but when I learned about settiing boundaries I began to recover. And a blessing of that (not a guarantee, mind you) is that my daughter began recovering too.
I remember AD was the point of losing her cellphone (of course she didn't tell me that. I had the pleasure of speaking with the cell phone company when her bill was way past due and MY NAME was on the account.) Thank goodness I had been to Al Anon and this board!
She used the ole, "But mama, I won't be able to call you. We won't be able to talk."
I responded, "Yes, I guess we just won't be able to talk."
"But Mama, I'm all the way out here in Mississippi."
"Yeah honey, I really hate that. Well, have to run. Collette (poodle) needs to go out."
Amazing, JUST AMAZING...somehow AD figured out how to get her cell phone turned back on. It's called ... BEING RESPONSIBLE AND WORKING TO PAY HER OWN BILL. And me thinks she learned that mama wasn't buying into being manipulated any more. Oh, how I love it!
I was slow at catching on, but when I learned about settiing boundaries I began to recover. And a blessing of that (not a guarantee, mind you) is that my daughter began recovering too.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((Laketime)))))))
Sorry I'm late. Just wanted to throw my $.02 into the mix.
A couple of years ago, I would have fallen head over heels for that.
I mean, literally, head over heels. I woulda done anything to "help" cause he's helping himself, right? Nope. Not yet, he's not.
I think your feeling like, if you get his phone turned on for him, that will insure a successful recovery. Maybe? I could be wrong. If it had been my son, I'da been so tickled that he got in...
My husband always says this in regards to my son.
"Don't go waving your arms, when your hanging on by your fingernails".
Something my son always has a tendency to do.
Don't reward him. He hasn't earned it yet.
JMHO
All said with love,
Linda
Sorry I'm late. Just wanted to throw my $.02 into the mix.
A couple of years ago, I would have fallen head over heels for that.
I mean, literally, head over heels. I woulda done anything to "help" cause he's helping himself, right? Nope. Not yet, he's not.
I think your feeling like, if you get his phone turned on for him, that will insure a successful recovery. Maybe? I could be wrong. If it had been my son, I'da been so tickled that he got in...
My husband always says this in regards to my son.
"Don't go waving your arms, when your hanging on by your fingernails".
Something my son always has a tendency to do.
Don't reward him. He hasn't earned it yet.
JMHO
All said with love,
Linda
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