drainedwife

I am going to court on Monday RE: the DV complaint and RO.
Please send prayers for me and my children---that we be protected.

I do believe in the power of prayer especially when there is a group praying for you.

thanks to everyone for all of their support and advice...it has taken me a while to see how horrible a life I was living and that I dont deserve to live this way and neither do my kids.....I always felt bad for my ah and still put his needs in front of mine and the kids...I thought because he was sick, he couldnt help his actions and his behavior... but even if that were true, is it fair to me to be in a relationship with someone that i cant trust and who is engaging in illegal activity?? SOmeone who abuses me, physically and emotionally? If a murderer is insane, and he kills someone, do you feel bad for him.?.what about the victim.?.they are dead and it doesnt matter if the murderer was ill or not,,,,the victim is still dead and there is no turning back. does that make any sense?? I guess what I am trying to come to terms with that no matter is my ah is sick or not...and we are not talking cancer here..we are talking about a disease with choices...choices to pick up that first pill and choices to put down that last pill and go and get help....this is not "in sickness and in health". THis is something that is a danger to my kids and I am the only one who can protec them from it....I gave my ah chances and choices and I put up with more than most-lies, decption, manipulation and abuse.....do I deserve these things?? My ah makes up his own rules in a marriage and he thinks that no matter what he does, I should stick by him....sorry but I am worth more than that.

ladyamalthea

You are right... you are TOTALLY worth more than that, and I will be praying!

*hugs*

nmt51605

you need to stay strong for your kids and think about there safety first if your h cant get help and stick to it and continue to stay clean for his family then he doesnt deserve that family in the first place you can only do so much to help him and your right you do deserve better you deserve to be happy with your kids you deserve peace and tranquility to watch your kids grow up just stay strong not only for you but for them and keep praying and i will be praying for you also best of luck in court

pjbs55

Wow, You have come so far in a matter of days. Yes it is a illness but it is a illness he can control.
You are right you have to protect your girls and yourself. Stay safe this weekend. Like I said before try to get away this weekend. Go visit out of town family or friends.
Hugs

duet_4-8

you are worth WAY more than that! Hang tough, this will get better!

hope213

you have my prayers & support.you are worth more than you get from him.hugs,hope

GwenMarie30

I havent posted much in your threads, but I do read them and say a prayer for you too. I have been watching your own recovery unfold by the day. You are doing so good. Prayers for you and your family.

guineapigjude

You are priceless! Sending lots of prayers and good thoughts your way. We are all with you!!!

BigSis

Lots of prayers....((((hugs))))

I absolutely believe that contracting addiction is beyond our control... and that the changes necessary to begin our recovery are totally within our control.

I wish you the best.

Guinevere

Drained,
My thoughts, prayers and special hugs go out to you and your family. You deserve the best; you don't need to settle for less. Take care!

teke

i want to thank you for this post, it makes a lot more sense to me than you could know, you've made things a little clearer for me too. i will continue to pray for you and your kids and for your addict too. you are so right, you do deserve the best and so do your kids

tropikgal2

Hugs and Prayers coming your way. It seems like a 180-degree turn-around since you first came here!! You are so much stronger!! YEAH FOR YOU!

drainedwife

you know what it is? I made a move--got an RO and then a lawyer..after that i just did what my lawyer told me to do and once you start things in motion...there is no going back....what would i do if i went back??? live like i have been with a man i dont trust and who i cant talk to? He woudlnt let me confront him about things--he would get intimidating..that was his weapon..he gets to do what he wants to do and if i question it, he would use intimidation to back me down...what kind of a life is that?

He did change the agreement again...but still has restraints on me not to be able to contact his family and friends and co-workers exceptp about the kids...he is still trying to control me and what i say to his family..my lawyer said no way!! he can use that agaisnt me and trap me too..he also had in his agreement that i cant use any part of his evaluation and drug treatment in any other preceedings...again--control..like i would give my children over to him if he hasd a positive drug test??? c'mon lets be serious!!

...until another DV issue comes up and then get another RO and then another lawyer, and so on , and so on...

pjbs55

DW,
You are handling this a lot better today than you did last week. You are seeing things more clearly now. You are doing the right thing listening to your lawyer.
You are right your AH is still trying to control you, and I'm glad you are able to see that. Keep up the great work.
Stay safe, and have a good weekend with the girls

Elana

You know DW, when I left my husband I did it for similar reasons...
He was destroying his life with binges on alcohol and mental illness he could nto get a handle on.

I made a decision that if I stayed with him, his alcoholism and illness was going to destroy two lives... and that made NO sense. I left.

Sadly I gave him 20 years of my life.. the best 20 physically.. I do not regret it because I got to be a farmer but no one can replace those years or that time.

You are doing the right thing and I am praying for you.

havehope

Stay strong; sending prayers for you and your children.

greeteachday

Keeping you and your children in my prayers. Your recovery growth is wonderful.

alyssiav

DW = You really give me hope for my struggle. You can't even know how your words relate so much to how I feel... I intend on reading this post over and over to help give me the strength to get to where you are. I am praying for you and your girls and I thank you for sharing your struggle with us. If you can be strong then so can I. THANK YOU! ((((biggest hugs))))

Hangin' In

(((((((((((((((drainedwife & your children)))))))))))))))))))

Keeping you in my prayers. And I know prayers work. Trust that your HP is in control. You stay steady on your course. HP will be there for you.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

rayofsunshine

Adding my prayers for protection, strength, happiness and peace for you and your children, Drainedwife. Your recovery is really showing. You seem so much stronger than when you first arrived.