Frankly...my thoughts and prayers are being sent to you both. I was raped in college during a fraternity pledge week. It was a really difficult time for me, but I got counseling and came through it OK. The only time I really even think about it is if my husband comes up from behind me to hug me, I still jump 5 feet in the air. Treat her gently, but don't let her dwell. My parents at first thought it was best to let me try and heal on my own. All I wanted to do was hide in a darkened room. Fortunately my mom quickly realized this wasn't healthy and forced me, practically kicking and screaming, into therapy. I fought it at first thinking it was a waste of time but it really, really helped. I hope that in the next few days, while you are helping her get her teeth fixed, the two of you together can come up with a plan. Even if she doesn't realize it, the next few months are going to be hard and she is going to need support. I'm just so sorry this has happened.

Thank You everyone,

I found a wonderful dental office yesterday, with the help of The Florida Healthy Kids Program. They helped me find someone to work her in. No one would see her because of the damage. It was going to be weeks to get her in anywhere. The nerve in her front tooth was just hanging there, even the hospital wouldn't touch it, said we had to find someone. We did, thank God. From 2:30 in the afternoon until 8:30 last night, they worked on her. She's got temporary caps, no more huge holes. They couldn't save the one front tooth, had to root canal it and cut the gums back to get enough of the tooth to attach a temporary cap to. The whole staff stayed late yesterday until they were done. 8 teeth had to be repaired.
She will have to go back in about 2 weeks for permenant caps. They gave her oxicodone for the pain. She is frustrated with it because she says it's like she is not taking anything. But at least she slept last night.

We got all the information for the Haven, they offer her free counseling for a year. Right now she says she doesn't want to go, she feels like this was her fault for not paying more attention, for being at the party in the first place. I know this is a normal reaction, I'm reassuring her differently. I'm hoping she will change her mind on the counseling. I'm giving it some time though.

One second she reverts to acting like a little girl. Wants me to decide everything for her and she doesn't want me out of her site. The next, she's angry and crying and is determined she doesn't need help from anyone. She doesn't want to be a bother to anyone.

I'm taking Ann's and everyone elses advice, I'm making no decisions for now. I'm discussing Vicky's options with her.

I think she's going to be OK. She's got a long road ahead of her. The choices she makes now, will change her life. I only pray, that it will be for the better. I love my kids more than anything on this earth. You moms out there already know that.

I'm feeling better, I finelly slept. I'm feeling calmer now that I've decided not to make any decisions right now.

Thank all of you for your prayers, love and support. I felt so alone through this. Until I got on line yesterday and talked to you guys. I can't realy describe how it helped me, almost like I got to draw from you all strength and sanity. I can't thank you enough.

B

I think we all draw from each other here.

What a great mom you are for being so supportive of her! Not all young women are that lucky these days...

I am so glad you found someone to help her with her teeth! She just thinks she's in pain now... it could have been much worse if she had not been able to get the help yesterday. I'm sure deep down she knows that.

I think her actions/ swaying of emotions is probably normal. She's upset, scared, and mad, all in one swing. That's a pretty hard group to grasp at once.

My thoughts are with her :)

Frankly.....so sorry for what happened to your daughter.

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for your family, I can't even imagine going through that. I'll be thinking of your and praying so your decision can be a peaceful one.

What a wonderful mom you are!!! Glad you could finally get some rest. I can't imagine what a roller coaster ride you've been on with emotions!!!

Remember how resiliant the human spirit is....people survived the holocaust, so just pray and continue being supportive....

We're beside you!!

(((Frankly))) My heart is breaking right now for you and your daughter. I know exactly how you feel. My daughter was drugged and raped when she was 17 by one idiot and he was also 17. This was way before drugs. Took it to court. Had an 86 yr. old judge with a hearing problem. Thrown out for lack of better evidence. Rapist walked away with a major attitude of I told you so. Daughter never went back to school after that. She was home schooled. No prom or graduation. That incident really affected her. When she was 20, she started to abuse drugs. This compounded with other pain was the start of her drug use. Make sure your daughter gets the counseling that she needs. I know 18 is a legal age for a lot of things, but I personally think they are still too young to be own their own.

Prayers for you and your daughter..............Lo

Frankly, you, your family and your daughter are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Jewel

sorry double post

so sorry frankly to hear what happened to your daughter, i do understand you wanting to keep her safe, so in my opinion, i think that maybe it would be good if you could do what you think is best for you to do right now. maybe if you can stay for a while, then do, but if not maybe she'll be willing to go home with you just until she is feeling better. i pray that counseling will help and that they find out more of what happened. i sure hope that she is feeling better soon. i'm praying for the both of you.

No way no how is this her fault....nobody deserves this kind of treatment from another human being...

I hope they can find the monsters who did it and put them away before they hurt someone else...cause they probably will if they are not stopped...

Rapists are in my opinion the lowest form of scum out there, I'm so sorry for you and your daughter, I know someone who went through similar and I woul dstrongly advise she have councilling when she feel s ready, this is not not Vickies fault Frankly, The world is a bad place sometimes and you cannot be there all her life if she is 18 you should advise her and by all means take care of her for a while but ultimatly we have all got our path to walk and I really know thats difficult but you gotta respect how she feels and what she wants or decides.

All the very best of luck with this and I am so sorry to hear it, my sister is 18 and if it was er I would want to kill the cowardly little bastards!!!

Love and light Ciaran

Vicky wanted to thank all of you for your love and prayers. I told her about talking to all of you. She cried and said she never realized how many people really care about her, even strangers. She knows how much this forum has helped me. I envited her here any time she wants. When she is ready. Drinking has put her in a bad position more than once now, so I just wanted her to have some place to turn if she chooses to.

B

Vicky this was not your fault!!!! I am praying for you honey and you will be okay!

Hugs,
Jewel