kiti

Hi all. I am new here but not new to the game. I grew up an addict as a teenager til i had my son at 24. Did a 360 and made my life great. Now at 38 i have been living with one for 5 yrs. To make a long story short, i have finally threw him out of the house this past week, and trying to be strong not by any means let him back into my life. Now even though this is only about the 50th time i threw him out, im making it the last! The lieing and stealing, i just cant take the mental part of it anymore, im so tired. Trying to help him is not an option anymore, ive done it all. Im trying so hard not to feel sorry for him anymore. My emotions are a roller coaster. But it is what i want, why is it so hard to let go. So thankyou all for sharing it is helping so much reading through here. I dont feel so stupid anymore, just truly used.....

abtchonamission

Welcome kiti. Glad you've found us.

Lovestoomuch

:nono: You just put that word "stupid" out of your vocabulary honey. Manipulated is more like it and we've all been there.

I'm glad you found us. There's strength in numbers as we all take this walk together.

Mavis

Hi Kiti!

Welcome to our recovery travels. I'm glad you joined us! Sorry you are going through a rough time. But take it day by day..

marle

Welcome Kiti, My addict is my 21 year old daughter. I am sure that you have a lot of good wisdom to share with us. Hugs, Marle

Spiritual Seeker

Yes "Letting Go" of someone we love is the hardest thing we ever have to do. Those of us who love addicts ( mine is my only child ) come to know that this is the only real choice and control that we have. The drug took them and we can't go along for the ride. We stay behing and learn to deal + heal with the pain. Then we learn to go on and have the fabulous life that we are capable of having. They have their path and we have ours. I keep my son in a place called hope but I have surrendered to

splendra

(((kiti))))

Welcome! Who would blame you for not wanting to take it anymore. I hope you can remain strong.

I am sure the emotional roller coaster will slow down enough for you to get off of it soon. Just remember they do tend to keep coming back hoping you will believe them again and it usually happens when things begin to turn around for the one who threw them out..

BigSis

((((Kiti))))

What you have, that some of us here do not, is a real reassurance that addiction can be overcome.

But like you, he has to figure out on his own how to "do" that 360. It isn't the same for everyone, the recipe may have similar elements, but the key seems to be that it has to be a desire from within... not without.

I have a friend in Alanon who is back together with her husband after 13 years of separation. Theirs was originally a violent, terrible, scary marriage. He finally got sober some years after the divorce, started a recovery center and they found they were in each other's lives again.

What my friend did NOT do was spend those 13 years hovering in the background waiting for him to get "well". She lived her life. She grew and developed and changed... as did he.

I believe there is a plan, that the universe brings us what we need. I may not be able to "speed" that process up - but I can sure slow it down if I get in the way.


Here's hoping that you can stand back, stay out of the way of your ex's recovery and maybe even find YOUR life. Alanon helps me very much. You might give them a try.

(((hugs))))

Elana

Welcome Kiti.
I understand not wanting the madness in your life anymore. Keep posting and stay strong!

BTW we all got manipulated.. and that is why we are here. We are not stupid.. sometimes a bit crazed and gosh we do have a little fun sometimes.. but the help and support here is amazing!

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, kiti. you go to alanon? blessings, k

dollydo

Welcome,

Keep posting, we are here for you.

kiti

Thankyou all for your support. Letting go is harder than staying. Ive held on for so long cause I knew of this pain to come. But if I hurt when he is around and I hurt when he is gone, then i am better alone. Just wish I could push the fast forward button. I will consider alanon, because just coming to this website and feeling not alone has been a great help. You really dont realize how many go through the same experiences. I feel like I wrote all this myself. Pretty crazy. I wish you all the best too and I share your hope and pain. I cant imagine having this to deal with a child, not so easy to walk away. Thanks again. And real quik he has been gone sice wed. however most of his stuff is still here and he is slowly moving it out. I cant wait til its totally done. Also he is still claiming not to be using, im not surprised. Guess hes still finding money and hasnt hit bottom yet....

Wascally Wabbit

Wecome Kiti,
I have an addict son who went to jail a month ago because he was on probation and couldn't pass a pee test. He's looking at 3-5 years behind bars all for getting high.
It's heartbreaking, but now I have peace.
I hope you find comfort here as I have.

devastated

I'm so happy you found us. It is so refreshing to hear success stories like yours.
Good for you. You cleaned up your life and now you deserve every happiness.

Stick to your guns, Kiti, for your sake and especially for your child's sake. You cleaned up for your child right? Just remember how much unhappiness addiction can bring and vow not to subject him to it.

Hugs, Devastated

patchoulli

welcome. everyone here has a similar story to tell. I thank god they have been here for me. We will be here for you....Marian

hope213

welcome to S.R. you know the score, they will use until they hit their bottom.it is not a sweet ride.let go or get dragged.the future is yours to choose for yourself & your daughter.keep coming back & let us knoow how u r. it does get better.the addict in my life is my son.prayers for you,him & your daughter.

caileesnana

Welcome to SR. Keep reading, you'll be amazed what you will learn!
susan