Language of Letting Go - June 24

Old 06-24-2007, 05:07 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - June 24

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Detachment

Detachment doesn't come naturally for many of us. But once we realize the value of this recovery principle, we understand how vital detachment is. The following story illustrates how a woman came to understand detachment.

"The first time I practiced detachment was when I let go of my alcoholic husband. He had been drinking for seven years -since I had married him. For that long, I had been denying his alcoholism and trying to make him stop drinking.

"I did outrageous things to make him stop drinking, to make him see the light, to make him realize how much he was hurting me. I really thought I was doing things right by trying to control him.

"One night, I saw things clearly. I realized that my attempts to control him would never solve the problem. I also saw that my life was unmanageable. I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. His alcoholism was controlling me, even though I wasn't drinking.

"I set him free, to do as he chose. The truth is, he did as he pleased anyway. Things changed the night I detached. He could feel it, and so could I. When I set him free, I set myself free to live my own life.

"I've had to practice the principle of detachment many times since then. I've had to detach from unhealthy people and healthy people. It's never failed. Detachment works."

Detachment is a gift. It will be given to us when we're ready for it. When we set the other person free, we are set free.

Today, wherever possible, I will detach in love.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Ann is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 05:16 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
hope213's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
thank you for this powerful post.detatchment is truely a blessing.
hope213 is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 05:53 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
patchoulli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
Thank you Ann. I do know without this tool I would be insane. I still feel sad at times but it may be hours rather than days, weeks, months.
patchoulli is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 07:29 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
 
marteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Thanks, Ann.

The whole "detachment" thing is difficult to master. I also found that I had to "detach" from me and my old method of doing things as a codie. I had to learn that I could still be "me" and enjoy my life without having to try to control others.
marteen is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 01:23 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 518
Marteen- completely and 100% on point (for me at least) when you say detachment is difficult to master- incredibly difficult for me. Because I think as codies we tend to see our own personal identity in relation to another and our own worth as based on how THEY are treating us, detachment occurs when we can actually practice separating ourselves from others and taking back our power.
I also think to a large degree it has to do with trusting ourselves- when we can trust ourselves as being real and our feelings valid we can begin to own our own power.
HKAngel24 is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 08:45 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 13
whenever i tried to detach in the past i would always get this incredibly sick feeling - like i couldn't breathe right or my mind raced all the time - will this go away - the panicked feeling i get - when?
peapods is offline  
Old 06-24-2007, 10:13 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
 
frankly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((peapods))

It sounds to me like you are experiencing a panic attack. Sometimes if they are bad, or keep recurring, you may want to see a doctor. I have a major anxiety disorder, my panic attacks were so bad, I became a recluse in my own home. But to answer your question, I don't know if it will go away for you, but for me, all the meds in the world would only cover them up. When I started practicing detachment, the panic attacks started going away. It was better than a tranqualizer. Letting go of other peoples issues and detaching myself with love, lifted a weight off my shoulders that I didn't even realize I was carrying.

I think there is a forum on here that deals with anxiety attacks. Check that out also.

Hugs and Prayers
B
frankly is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:27 PM.