patchoulli

No one here is gonna judge you. Drugs were worse than any other mistress I could imagine encountering. We have ALL of us been irrational, emotional, crazy...RUN...The abyss you can fall in is truly terrible. Many of us here have been to hell and are working our way back to life. Keep coming back, we do understand...Marian

peapods

thank you again - to everyone who has reached out to me - it is now sunday afternoon and i have managed to go without contact for 2 days now - believe it or not, this IS a big step for me - of course since he is probably now only focused on using again, he probably hasn't realized i'm gone but i realize and thats whats important, right? I don't want to be a mistress anymore - regardless of how much i love this man - I wan't to like myself again and for everyone who mentioned my children - double thanks, i love them more than anything and they don't deserve their life to be turned inside out! I'm going to try so hard but i know i can only take it minute by minute - i hope its okay that i come online to this site when i feel a strong urge to call him - thank you again for giving me hope that i will come through this - peapods (lisa)

splendra

(((((peapods))))

I think it is a very good idea for you to come here and post anytime you feel that you might call him....

I think it is wonderful that you are considering your children in this to cause no child deserves the dish that an addict will serve up...

Elana

I came here often rather than have contact with XABF...

"letter to XABF 1, 2. 3, etc. etc."

Better than contact because the answers here are not maddening...

marle

2 days is a big step. A lot of us here realize that any step away from the addict is a positive step, no matter how small. My daughter is my addict and I now realize that I was totally enmeshed with her because I did not have to find what made me happy. She was "my life" from the day she was born. It was so easy to think of what would make her happy. That way I did not need to focus on the fact that I was not making myself happy. Hugs to you, Marle

BigSis

Coming in here is good!! Other things you can do instead of calling him....


Try a new recipe... something elaborate.
Go shopping for some new summer shoes.
Organize a closet, a drawer or shelf.
Organize the photos of your family.
Write a letter to an old friend.
Write a letter to God.
Weed your flowers.
Start a kitchen herb garden.
Learn to quilt, crochet, or needlepoint.
Sing!
Play an instrument... or purchase a used one and learn!
Call the local animal shelter and ask them how you can volunteer.
Take a nap.
Pray.

Mavis

Good thinking Lisa.. we are all here for you!
Try writing down in a diary all the things you want in life. Could be anything. You can be as explicit or as silly as you want. It helps get your thoughts out, and goals in place...
Sending strength your way!

notsleepingwell

Hi, Comin in late here. Welcome to SR! A lot of us have been the 3rd party, so we cannot judge...lol.

My addict is my daughter, and let me tell you, from the depths of despair, let me tell you where addiction leads.....ohh, I guess I don't have to tell you, you just have to look on the streets to see where addiction leads.

My daughter was a registered nurse, she has lost her son, her job, her car, her apt, her health...now Hep C positive, lives in the homeless shelters and hooks for money. So having been to the depths....addiction pretty much follows the same path for most. Some are high functioning for a time, (you'd never know they are using, they are going to work, paying rent etc)...but if they don't find recovery...it will spiral down....eventually ending in death.

Please, please, do not subject your children to this chaos....Let them grow up in an intact home, with a mom and dad. That is the most important gift you have to give them!! More important than your happiness, or what you think you will gain with this man. Read the sticky's at the top of the page....there are books on addiction....

If I had any choice in this, I would run from any addict!!! RUN!!!

JMHO