breaking up with my addict boyfriend .. is showing me that i too am an addict
 

i met him in jan and in a five to six month span i have broken up with him and gotten back together with him at least seven or eight times.. for vaires reason

1. he smoked (lied about it while it was goin on but the truth always comes out)
2. i was affarid he would smoke (even if he did or not)
3. i couldnt sleep at night.. ( i would lay awawk wondering were he was..

anyway my point is is i have been weed boyfriend freee for a week.. i was like yes finally its over its done im getting over this i got a hold of that book co dependency no more took it on vacation with me started to read it and become enlightened and then BAM here he comes sending me evil text messages while im on vacation from my hotel room... telling me "what did i ever do to you that was so bad besides treat you right" and calling me an a*hole, and that he woulndt want to be with sumone as cold as me.. i know this is all a ploy to get me to respond

so i respond~! ergh.. and i ask him why he is doing this.. it work s evertime it seems.. now after a week of no him he is calling me and we are having usless converstations

him "i will stop smoking if you j ust be with me
me "how many times have we done this , and it didint work?

him... "i dont need to smoke . and im willing to quit for you, i didnt even smoke the last time and you broke up with me"

me "but what did you do right after we broke up you ran to your dealear and got weed"


ergh ergh.. i keep talkin to him i KNOW I SHOULDNT...
i told him lets me friends I KNOW I CANT DO THAT EITHER ...

ALL HE WANTS IS A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN AND I DONT WANT THAT BUT I CANT STOP WANTING HIM IN MYL IFE and i want to see him just not be his gf..

IF THIS IS A CO DEPENDENT MAN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS ..

CAN YOU ALL HELP A SISTA.

No one can really tell you what to do. I wish it were that easy, but it's not.
You want him in your life just not as his girlfriend. So......you want to be his friend? I'm not sure I exactly understand, but again that would be a choice only you can make. He says he's willing to stop smoking if he can have you back in his life, but he's not saying he wants to stop smoking because he wants to. Until he's ready to stop for himself, he won't stop........he might get better at hiding it from you, but I don't think he'll stop. I once thought love was the cure, but was quickly disappointed when my exabf just couldn't stay off the crack.

If you truly want this man gone, I suggest you change your number and cut off contact. If you are tempted to talk to him every time he decides to get a hold of you ..........cut off the temptation by cutting off any type of communication.

Hang in there and be patient with yourself. I took my exabf back more times than you can count on all your digits until I finally had enough.

yes
 

I KNOW YOUR SO RIGHT i am a born again christian and he is also a christian but him with this weed as took God away from it.. i told him i cant be your reason God has be your reason and then you have to be your reason.. then he tells me i am playing head games with him this and that

so i ask him why do you want to be with me then?

he never has an answer..

but... i know i wont and cant be with him.. i just like still having him around from time to time i know thats not fair

and with me pickin him up and puttin him down im gettin in the way of him ever truly beating this


he is coming by tnite to drop somthing of mine off after tonight i have to break that tie as bad as it hurts me i have to for him and for me

It's mostly not fair to yourself because it would seem as though he is getting what he wants when this happens........whatever that may be. You've got emotions tied up into this man and believe me.......I understand emotions. Mine were all over the place.

He will have to hit his bottom and when we keep padding that bottom, they may never hit it.

Quack Quack Quack
I think you made yourself pretty clear on the matter. This is just a manipulative way for him to turn this around on you.

this is def a hard thing- I am just breaking up with an addict after a month, and its hard. i think their personalities make us drawn to them, we WANT to see the good in them. they are great people when they are sober. but the fact is they are addicts and will only drag us down. i know cutting off from this guy would be so hard for you! but it is in your best interest ya know? trust me, the guy who i was with is now with another addict and getting worse its not an easy thing to watch, and no one will understand what your going through! juts remember your worth so much. and i feel the same way- you just wanna be around him! it sucks and addicted people are so not easy.

hope this helps some bit! stay strong--know that there are OTHER people out there.

i really need to sober up fo my girlfriend doesnt break up with... i dont know what i would do without her

((Jennibell)) - This post was begun back in 2007. Please feel free to start a thread and introduce yourself:)

Hugs and prayers,

Amy