Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Relationship Martyrs

Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships.

We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we're talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates, or spouses. We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid, but we don't have to force ourselves through long-term or intimate relationships with these people.

We are free to choose friends, dates, and spouses. We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can't always choose to be around, such as relatives. This is our life. This is it. We can decide how we want to spend our days and hours. We're not enslaved. We're not trapped. And not one of us is without options. We may not see our options clearly. Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with.

God, help me value my time and life. Help me place value on how I feel being around certain people. Guide me as I learn to develop healthy, intimate, sharing relationships with people. Help me give myself the freedom to experiment, explore, and learn who I am and who I can be in my relationships.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

What an empowering thought that is...we are not helpless, we are not hopeless, we have choices.

For me it was like passing through a door, from the darkness into the light. It took first a belief that my life could be better and would be better if I just followed the path of those who went before me.

Recovery gave me the key to that door, so that even when I found myself slipping into the darkness again, I knew where that door was and that I held the key to my own happiness. I no longer have to wait for someone to rescue me. Today I can use that key and unlock the door any time I choose.

Hugs

HKAngel24

Ann how have you found such inner peace?

This post resonates with me extremely well as I currently feel trapped and enslaved still by addiction and all its counterparts. Seeing options and believing I deserve to take them prove difficult at the moment. This post reminds me that I do have hope and I may have more choices.

Ann

Always hang on to that hope, because life does get better and better each day.

How did I find inner peace? It may sound corny but I found it by working the 12 steps of recovery which led me to a God of my understanding (much gentler than the hellfire and damnation God I grew up trying to understand). One day at a time, working this program and surrounded by support and the wisdom of those who went before me, I just woke up one day and "knew" that life was good and meant to be enjoyed with gratitude and love in my heart. I have never looked back.

Hugs

Lovestoomuch

Amen!

hope213

thank you for the post.i am still finding my inner peace one day at a time, minute by minute,day by day.i wake up every morning & say i am going to be happy today. i have a lot to be greatful for & i count my blessings today.