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Son stole my pain pills

Old 06-19-2007, 10:18 AM
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Son stole my pain pills

Well, I guess Sober Son isn't so sober after all. I found out that he has helped himself to my pain pills that I had for after my surgery. I don't have addiction issues - I take the pills as prescribed and keep some for the occasional flare up that comes with this kind of arthritis. So, I have them in the house, had kept them hidden a bit.... so my OTHER son and his friends wouldn't come across them and help themselves.

I asked him if he had taken some out of the bottle and he said yes, for his jaw pain from TMJ... where his stress shows up. I found a bunch of them in his room yesterday, and I took them BACK and put them BACK in the bottle he took them from, and hid the bottle better.

If I'm hiding pills, there's a problem. And it's not MY problem.

Today, he came to me and said he's been struggling a bit with pills. Not a big problem, he quacked, just maybe one a day to help with stress. He admitted going to someone else's house and taking some of HIS pills (but he has extra, he quacked, and he doesn't need them anymore... and besides, I don't like him... quack quack). So that's a bigger problem. He's talking about getting an apt, maybe moving out of state nearer to some friends. I had to grab ahold of every single bit of recovery I own to listen, and to offer some words... I reminded him that wherever you go, there you are. And unless you figure out what's causing you pain and learn how to deal with it in different, more positive ways, you'll continue to have issues. A geographical cure isn't a cure - its just a change in locations.

And my classic line - I love you so much, you're so strong, and I know you're going to find your way.

THEN I fell backward in my office chair, hit my head on the window sill, cut my head, scrambled my brains a bit... so we were diverted from our conversation.

My head is spinning, and I know its from more than the bump. I will go to the dr if it feels like a concussion...

But DOGGONE it. How did I not see this one coming? And I was already dealing with it, so what's with the smack over the head???

:
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:30 AM
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well, good grief! i hope your head is ok..

sounds like you did the best you could. i'm so sorry.

if i had a nickle for everytime i've said - how did i not see it coming?!?!?

blessings, k
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:45 AM
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Oh Boy R we two peas in a pod. I thought my SS was sober also & found out not long ago that hes smoking pot after his boys are in bed to relax. He claims that this is all he does that he doesn't drink or go out and he works & goes to college etc etc. I told him if he was so anxious to go to a dr. I am sorry you have to get hit with this also. Here I though also I had one AS & boy that was enough.
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:51 AM
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I'm sorry Cat, both for your news and your headache.
If it helps at all...I've armed myself with the knowledege should my son go back to his old ways, or should my other kids, or any loved one develope an addiction I'm armed with knowledge now...
They can choose to stop the cycle
They can choose to learn the tools needed
and they can choose to change.

I didn't know this before.

The news would knock me down...but I can choose to get back up

On a positive note...he told you when you asked. I guess he knows better than to think our Cat doesn't know better.

((((hugs)))) and prayers
Cece
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:02 AM
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boy, what a let down. you are right tho, we do have our tools today.to be honest, nothing shocks me anymore.i am sorry this has happpened but maybe he will understand that nobody can change this but himself & get some help before it gets anymore out of control. hope your head is ok.prayers for you & your sons,
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:05 AM
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((Cat)) I'm so sorry! What a blow. You are handling things great and maybe the bump on the head was HP giving you something else to concentrate on?

Take care of you ((HUGS))
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:12 AM
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so sorry cats, about your son and you hitting your head.........

but for what its worth as I read your post all I could think is...............gosh I wish I could be like her!!! So calm so collected and so strong in how she handled this emotions under control!!!!

you are an inspiration!!
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:28 AM
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Sorry, Cat. You know that even with all we know and all we have been through, it can still blindside us. I hope that your head is feeling better and some hugs and prayers that your heart will feel better too. Hugs, Marle
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:39 AM
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You are a tough nut to crack. You did very good.

I am wondering how the window sill is doing? *LOL*

Hope you feel better fast and prayers that he open his eyes a bit faster as well.
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:44 AM
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Sorry about your son, Cat. My, but your recovery shows!
I hope your lil ole head is feeling better soon.(ouch! )
hugs and prayers,
cmc
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:50 AM
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Oh Cat.... I am so sorry.

Well... I was sorry after I finally stopped laughing at the picture in my head of your backwards somersault into a the window sill!

But really - I am sorry you have to deal with this, and glad that you have such strong recovery going and just wanted to send you some heartfelt hugs and lots of love.

((((myfriendCat))))
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:24 PM
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I am wondering how the window sill is doing? *LOL*
As a matter of fact, I knocked some paint off.

I am already doing better... Son is off tonight and I imagine we will talk more. It's time for him to get an apartment or a house of his own. It's time for me to set some more boundaries.

Sigh. Life is life sometimes....
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:28 PM
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Cat, sorry you hit your head! Maybe it was something telling you...something?? Who knows. Hope your head is better and your son gets his act together and stops trying fool himself and everyone else.
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:18 PM
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Cats,

Originally Posted by CatsPajamas View Post
And my classic line - I love you so much, you're so strong, and I know you're going to find your way.
I just love that. Thank you for reminding me of your classic line again!

I am sorry about your head. I am glad Cats have 9 lives!

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Old 06-19-2007, 02:23 PM
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Cats,

Hope you can take good care of you tonight and hope your head is ok. Will say prayers for your son.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:28 PM
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I had lunch with As and his girlfriend. This is the younger son, who struggles with accepting life on life's terms but hasn't had any hard core drug use in 3 or 4 yrs now... (still drinks too much and smokes "a little" pot ~~he's not sober, not by a long shot.) They were happy, things are good, and we just laughed and talked. I didn't talk about his brother other than to share my story about my being knocked upside the head...

Now I am going to have coffee with a friend. She's an Earth Person and doesn't always understand my world. I won't share this with her... I've shared it here and with a recovery friend. I don't have to shout it from the rooftops like I used to.

Thank you all for being here. It's awesome to know that I have a safe place to scream and shout and cry and whine and pout about the bump on my head... and to share my success and my recovery when it happens.

Cats
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Old 06-19-2007, 03:35 PM
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Cat,

Your post is an inspiration and a true example of sharing your experience, strength and hope. And it's good to know that we can put our recovery into action when the rug is pulled out from underneath us...and we fall and make a dent in the window sill.

As my sponsor says...."It is what it is." And when she says that to me, I pick myself up, whine about my bumped head a little (hey, old habits die hard), and keep on trucking, just like you're doing, Cat. Life really is better that way, isn't it?

Love ya, gal. Countdown to retreat.........YIPPEY!!!!!!!!!

Hangin' In
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:24 PM
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I love your recovery, it just shines and shines and you are one person I know who "lives" her recovery.

I'm sorry your son is doing this, hopefully he'll see where it's taking him before it takes him there.

And something you said made me sit up and listen...

If I'm hiding pills, there's a problem. And it's not MY problem.
Those words kicked me in the ribs because I have caught myself lately falling into the "codependent defend-thyself" mode. No biggie, but indeed I don't have to let someone else's problem become MY problem too.

Cat, I think we're both way past hiding our car keys and bank cards and "no stealing" is a more than fair boundary.

Hugs
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Old 06-19-2007, 07:31 PM
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((((((cats))))))

I'm sorry about the whole missing pill thing. I can only imagine that alot of old feelings and emotions came flooding back when you figured it out.

Even with a bump on your head, its clear as day that your recovery is in place and as strong as ever. I'm so glad you shared all of this with us because your post provides a powerful example of WHY it is so important to work our recovery every single day....even after (and maybe most especially when) the daily chaos and insanity of addiction have faded away. You've kept all those recovery tools oiled up, sharpened, and ready to go...and you've got them all right there at your disposal. You're an inspiration to me.

Still, though....I know its not easy...and I'm sending you lots of hugs, strength, and prayers tonight...
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Old 06-19-2007, 07:47 PM
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Cat,

You are amazing! Now get that focus back on you and keep your balance in life! (Gentle hugs coming atcha!)
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